Building Blocks
by Maureen Mooney
Summary: Set after episode 5.10 contains spoilers for seasons and episodes after that. What if Ziva and Damon couldn't stop thinking about each other? Can they build a life together or will Ziva's career tear them apart? Rated M for mature themes.
1. To Redeem a Marine

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

When Ziva left the hospital where Corporal Damon Werth was still being held she turned to Gibbs, who was in the driver's seat, and spoke, "What will happen to him now Gibbs?"

"Well Ziva, he'll be dishonorably discharged and he'll have to find a job somewhere. It'll be rather difficult as he doesn't have any experience out of the Corps. And he's already undergoing detox from the steroids. He'll be fine."

"He will not get the medal now?"

"That's up to the Corps, Ziva, but I doubt it."

"Just because he voluntarily drugged himself in order to be a Marine does not change the fact that he is a hero, Gibbs. He saved his men."

"Ziva, when you made decisions as a control officer in Mossad did you think about the medals, the honors, the accolades, or did you just do what you had to do to cover your people's sixes?"

"I did what I had to do to keep them all as safe as possible, Gibbs. That is what a good leader does."

"Exactly like Werth. With or without the silver star, he still would've saved Whittney, Stone and Heatherton because that's what being in charge meant."

"I suppose you are right Gibbs. And if he had to do it all over again, I am sure Corporal Werth would still rescue his men."

"It's Semper Fi, Ziva. We don't leave a man behind."

"Courage is simple: you run to the gunfire, not away from it," Ziva quoted Gibbs, smiling slightly.

Back in the NCIS building Ziva sat at her desk, thinking. Tony had said, "You like him." McGee had said, "You really like him." Tony had a broken nose. McGee's shoulder was back in place but it still hurt him. And yet, wrestling with Damon had been exciting. She wasn't easily overpowered and she liked being in control. Fighting Damon had stripped her of control and overpowered her. And yet, it was nice to finally be dominated and to not be invincible. When Damon had seen her eye, really seen it, he had tenderly reached up and barely brushed her brow bone.

"Did I do that?" he asked, looking like a confused, sorry and lost little boy.

"Yes, when we tried to take you into custody. McGee tightening the handcuffs startled you. You put up a fight."

"Agent Gibbs?" he asked worriedly.

"He is fine, Corporal Werth. A bit bruised but he will be fine."

"Agent DiNozzo?"

"You broke his nose."

Damon buried his face in his hands, "God, Officer David, I'm a monster!"

"No, no you are not Corporal. You were out of your mind because the steroids had poisoned your brain and because of the steroids you were not easily overpowered. And now, once the haze of the drugs has lifted, you are sorry. Monsters are not capable of remorse," Ziva had said, placing a comforting hand on Damon's shoulder. Damon shrugged her off and the rejection of comfort stung Ziva.

"But I hurt innocent people Officer David! I should be locked up! Stop letting me off the hook!"

"Shh… hush now, Corporal. If you do not settle down, Dr. De La Casa will not let me stay," Ziva gently squeezed Damon's hand. When he didn't rebuff her, she drew him into a soft hug, slightly rocking him like she used to do with Tali when Tali wanted comfort.

"I hate the hospital. It feels like the brig. What am I gonna do now, Officer David? They won't let me be a Marine anymore. The Corps is my life."

"Maybe you could be a bodyguard or something Corporal. Or try branching out into another career."

"I don't want another career. All I've ever wanted is to be a Marine."

"What do you want for your future, Corporal? A girlfriend? A wife? Children?"

"Yeah, I think I'd like all of that. And maybe a dog too."

"Then go out there and make it happen."

"You make it sound so easy, Officer David. So what about you? What do you want?"

"Some ice cream," Ziva said, evading.

"A tasty future, but not exactly what future plans would be," Damon joked.

His question reminded her of Gibbs. 'Do you want children, Ziva?' 'Well I… there are a lot of factors to consider.' 'It's a simple question, Ziver.' 'I do not have a simple answer.'

"I do not have a simple answer, Corporal."

But now, sitting at her desk, Ziva began to think that maybe it wasn't about having simple answers but rather feelings and to act or not. She sighed and checked her e-mail. There was nothing, just like five minutes ago when she last checked it. She picked up the phone and dialed Bethesda, "Corporal Damon Werth, please."

"I'm sorry ma'am, he was just discharged."

So she thanked the man on the phone and ran Corporal Werth's service records and got his parents address and telephone number. She would try to find Damon in the morning.

"Why are you still here Ziver? Go home. Get some sleep," Gibbs barked at her.

"I could tell you the same thing," Ziva quipped, gathering up her things to leave.

"Oh and Ziver?"

"Yes Gibbs?"

"Your boy got his medal. The bronze star isn't as high an honor as the silver star but hopefully it'll do. Go home, sleep."

"Thank you Gibbs."

The two of them shared a smile before Ziva walked to the elevator and hit the up button to head home.

Once home, Ziva was restless. She needed to settle her mind because all her thoughts kept drifting back to Damon. It was ridiculous she knew. She barely knew the man. She started to make lasagna, hoping that the preparation would take her mind off of the marine. She chopped tomatoes, added in spices, and tomato paste for the sauce. The water boiled, ready for the noodles whenever she was. She had browned beef and sautéed peppers, zucchini, olives, mushrooms, and onions and set them aside. She had drained spinach and mixed it in with the ricotta cheese and grated her own mozzarella and she was still thinking of Damon Werth. She finished making the lasagna, putting it in the fridge and reheating leftovers for a very late dinner.

After eating she washed her dishes and stared around her apartment as though seeing it for the first time. She'd always thought of her life as being closed, she never wanted to worry her partner or have him gain the same haunted look her own mother had when her father was gone on missions. Looking around now, she noticed no space on her bookshelves, no room in her tidy living room for another person. It was the same in the kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. She was alone. Usually when she felt this alone, she'd call Tony. He was great at waking up and coming to her place to sleep on the couch. But tonight, tonight she wanted something more permanent than just a man who was willing to sleep on her couch a few times. She sighed and called Gibbs.

"Yeah Gibbs," he answered.

"I am sorry to be calling so late Gibbs."

"Ziva… are you all right?" he asked, shifting from asleep to awake.

"I do not know. I feel… I am alone, Gibbs."

"What brought this on, Ziver?"

"My bookshelf, there is no space for anyone else."

"So buy a new shelf, Ziva. Or I can make you one." He sounded exasperated and Ziva couldn't blame him. After all Gibbs did not like metaphors, he preferred straight talk.

"It is not just the shelf, Gibbs, it is my whole apartment, my life. There is no room," She said, her voice tinged with despair and urgency.

The older man sighed quietly, "Yeah there is Ziva, you're just afraid to rearrange things. Get a storage unit if you have to. Point is, you're ready for your life to be more than just you and that scares the hell out of you. I know I'm right, or you wouldn't have called me in a panic. Figure out how to move things around, Ziva. But first thing, get some sleep. That's an order David. I mean it. Sleep."

"Thank you Gibbs. I will."

She hung up the phone, knowing he was right and knowing that she'd need to shift a lot of things around. But maybe she'd finally found the right man to move things around for. Damon's face flashed in her mind. Ziva shook her head as if to clear it but Damon's image wouldn't leave. She was hopeless, one of those girls who simply fell for some guy because of how he looked. That wasn't her, but that was how she was acting and she didn't like it.

She showered, hoping the hot water would relax her and make her sleepy instead of nervous and on edge. She usually showered in the morning however and now she was keyed up and still thinking of Damon. Annoyed with herself, she cleaned the shower methodically and went to the kitchen for a cup of tea. After two cups of tea and five chapters of her book, she knew that her usual nightly routine wasn't working. She couldn't keep the loneliness and despair at bay. She pushed 6 on her cell phone, knowing it would call Tony.

"'Lo?" Tony answered sleepily.

"Tony, can you come over tonight?"

"Zi? It's… two in the morning. Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Lonely again, Zee-vah?" he asked, teasing her.

"You are awake enough to tease me?"

"Yeah, guess so. Let me get my go bag. Oh, and Ziva?"

"Yes, Tony?"

"You owe me breakfast. Waffles."

"Waffles it is, Tony."

Ziva hung up and made up the couch for Tony. When he came in, he went straight to the couch, muttering something about a 'crazy chick' and pulling the blankets up over himself.

Ziva finally curled up under the covers and slept, lulled to sleep by Tony's snores and breathing from the next room. She felt bad, dragging him out of his bed like this but she knew that if he asked her to, she'd do the same for him.


	2. Tracking and Tempers

This chapter is dedicated to DarkShadow722

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

The next morning, Ziva made red velvet waffles for Tony. He had gotten her a Hello Kitty waffle iron one Hanukkah as a joke and then the next year got her the matching toaster. She woke him with the steaming plate of waffles and coffee with hazelnut cream and sugar. He thanked her and they drove to work after eating and cleaning up. Now at work Ziva kept impatiently tapping her pen on her desk. Since Corporal Werth's case was closed, there were still the mandatory case reports to file as well as catching up on paperwork. Ziva, like Gibbs, hated paperwork and preferred to pretend the red tape didn't exist, but when they did that, Jenny got testy and reminded Gibbs that he wasn't director and that paperwork had to be done for a reason. Ziva sighed.

"Having problems, Officer David?" Tony asked jokingly.

"No. Go away."

"At least the guy isn't going to be our problem anymore if he decides to go nuts. His discharge was complete effective this morning. No more fighting jacked up Marines, I hope," Tony said.

"You are angry with Corporal Werth, Tony?"

"He broke my nose! I mean, he could have broken an arm or something but no, he broke my nose. My nose, Ziva, it's on my face."

"If it makes you feel any better, Tony, Corporal Werth said he was sorry for hurting you."

"Oh, he said sorry, guess it's all better now, isn't it?" Tony snapped, turning back to his computer screen and paperwork.

"I need coffee, I will be back," Ziva said, standing up and heading for the elevator.

Once on the street, Ziva pulled out the number for Corporal Werth's parents and dialed before she could talk herself out of doing so.

"Hello?" A woman answered.

"Hello, may I please speak with Damon Werth?" Ziva asked.

"Who is calling?"

"Officer David."

"Well, I'm sorry but Damon isn't here. And he won't be back any time soon either. How could he get himself discharged like that? I just don't understand why he had to be a Marine. He could have had any job he wanted but no, he had to pick the Marine Corps."

"Do you know where Damon might have gone?" Ziva asked, trying desperately to control her temper. How dare this woman run down her son like that? Wasn't she a behavioral therapist? Surely she knew how damaging such statements were on a person's mental health.

"No, I don't. Did you say you were an officer? Is Damon in trouble again?"

"Yes I am and no he is not."

"Good. Well, goodbye then."

"Goodbye."

Ziva snapped her phone shut and cursed. Next on her list would be PFC Stone. Then Heatherton if Stone couldn't tell her where Damon was. If that failed she had friends she could call in favors from to get in touch with Whittney. If that failed, well, she could track him down somehow. She knew she wasn't supposed to use the NCIS resources for her own personal business but she had to get in touch with Damon. She'd gone from having a moment to having feelings for him and she wasn't sure how accurate her feelings were but she felt if she could see Damon again, talk to him, spend time with him, well then she might now how she really felt. Annoyed at the situation in which she found herself, Ziva spun around and headed back to NCIS.

When she got into the elevator she mentally Gibbs slapped herself. Coffee. Tony would notice that she hadn't gotten any. Oh well, too late now.

"No coffee Zee-vah?"

"I needed the walk to clear my head, Tony."

She sat down and began typing again.

"Clear your head, huh? Why does your head need clearing?" Tony asked.

"Leave her alone, Tony," McGee said.

"Mind your own business, DiNozzo," Ziva said.

"Would this needing your head cleared have something to do with a dishonorably discharged Marine? Oof. Ow, boss!"

Gibbs walked into the bullpen and head slapped Tony, "Leave Ziva alone, DiNozzo."

"Ow, boss. Concussion risk over here," Tony complained.

"That's what you get for annoying Ziva. Ziver, conference room now."

Gibbs stalked off to the elevator, throwing a pointed look back at Ziva who scampered to join him. Once they were both inside he hit a button then threw the emergency stop button.

"Talk," he said.

"About what?"

"Corporal Werth."

"There is nothing to talk about, Gibbs."

"You called me last night Ziva. You were ready to rearrange your whole life. You like him."

"Maybe, I do not know."

"You're distracted, Ziva. Ever since we met Werth. Have you called him?"

"Yes, I called Bethesda but he was already discharged. And then I called his parents. His mother was not nice."

"No Werth, I'm guessing?"

"No, so I am going to visit PFC Stone after work. If that does not get me Damon's contact information, then I will call Heatherton."

"I'd say get going, Ziver, as soon as your paperwork's done. Go visit PFC Stone."

"Thank you, Gibbs."

"Just cure your distraction, Ziver."

Ziva chuckled and then flicked the emergency stop button again. Both she and Gibbs when back to the bullpen and she finished her case report, handing it to Gibbs and sitting down while he read it and then signed off on it. He nodded and she headed for the stairs and her car, vaguely hearing Tony complaining about staying as she left. She got into her car, and drove to Walter Reed Hospital.

"PFC Stone, please?" Ziva asked at the front desk, flashing her credentials.

"Room 207, ma'am."

"Thank you."

At the room, Ziva knocked on the door frame, "PFC Stone, are you up to having a visitor?"

"Sure, hey, you're one of the people from NCIS, right? Helping Damon?"

"Yes. Corporal Werth is fine, PFC Stone," Ziva said, walking in and making sure that she didn't stare at the metal artificial leg that PFC Stone had. She kept her eyes trained on his. He was still good looking, Ziva noted.

"Call me Nathan. So if Damon's fine, why are you here?"

"I wanted to get in contact with Damon. You wouldn't happen to have a number or an address for him would you?"

Nathan looked confused, "Why do you want to get in touch with Damon?"

"Well Nathan, I… um… I like him," Ziva admitted.

Nathan grinned, "Well the Corporal couldn't have found a prettier woman. What happened to your eye?"

"Oh that? Damon, during the fight, remember?"

"Bet he feels horrible about that."

"He does but I am fine. He does not need to feel horrible."

"So, you and Damon, huh? Well, if I had any info I'd give it to you but I don't sorry. He used to have a burn phone but that got shut off. Try his parents?"

"I did. His mother was not the nicest."

"Ah, well I'm sure it's just stress. If you leave me your info, if Damon calls I'll give it to him."

"Thank you Nathan."

"You're welcome. And you are?"

"I'm Ziva."

"It was nice to meet you, again, Ziva."

"You too, Nathan, and when you get done with your physical rehabilitation, come see me, I'll make you dinner."

"Well thank you ma'am."

"It is the least I can do for you since you served this country. But please, do not call me ma'am."

They shook hands and Ziva headed home, feeling more alone than ever before.

She set her lasagna in the oven to bake, checked her e-mail, wrote back to her father and then flipped on some mindless television for background noise. She wouldn't call Tony tonight, no, she'd eat, clean up and go for a run.

After eating and cleaning up Ziva pulled on her running clothes, including the orange hat that Ray had given her. She ran her usual path, running easily and feeling the burn in her muscles as she pushed herself. She loved running, the feel of the slight burn, the exhaustion that came from giving it her all, the endorphins that kicked in and made her happy, all of it made her morning run something she looked forward to. 6 minute miles, that was her pace.

Back at her apartment, she showered and put herself to bed after a cup of tea and a chapter of her book. However, she found that her mind wouldn't shut off that easily. Damon Werth to Nathan Stone to PFC Heatherton and back again. Heatherton would be her next move she decided. Ziva sighed. Honestly, she'd never been interested in chasing after some guy. She'd had too many guys who wanted to chase after her to be bothered with a chase of her own before.

She reached for her cell phone, beside her, drilled into her first by her father and then by Gibbs with his 'never be unreachable' rule, and then pulled her hand back. She would not call Tony. She would not. She groaned and got up again, pacing around her living room while wondering, 'is he really worth it? Just let it go, Ziva.' She'd never had a problem letting go, at least until Ray. Ray, there could have been something there except for the fact that he was a dead man walking. He was dead before he and Ziva had really gotten to know each other. Finally she made two decisions, yes, Damon Werth was worth it and she needed a sleeping pill. Her hand closed over the orange bottle and she shook out a pill, swallowing it down with a bit of water.

Back in bed, Ziva waited to feel the syrupy-sweet, slightly tingling, pulling sensation that meant that the pill was working. Soon her limbs felt heavy and her head stuffed with cotton. She knew she'd have after effects in the morning but she didn't care. She sank slowly into slumber, hoping for a dreamless sleep and no more thoughts. Her last conscious thought was, "I wonder what Damon's doing right now?"


	3. Frustration

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

The next day the team had the day off because of closing a case. Ziva slept in before sliding out of bed and pulling on her running clothes for her usual morning run even though she had run the day before. She laced up her sneakers and grabbed her keys and ipod, moving out of her apartment and turning on her running playlist. Ziva got in a good five miles and returned to her apartment. She was sweaty and sticky and happy in a way that only running could make her happy. Her muscles burned and ached with the familiar pleasure-pain that only a hard, fast, driven run could give her. She dropped her keys in the key bowl on an end table in the living room and put her ipod back into the ihome holder in the living room, pulling off her clothes and kicking off her shoes as she went. Dropping her clothes into the laundry basket she headed to the bathroom for a long hot shower that relaxed her muscles and usually cleared her mind of anything that was bothering her. However, Damon Werth still wouldn't get out of her head. Ziva groaned and shut off the water, toweling herself off and wiping down the shower.

After dressing and putting her hair in a braid to let it air dry, she headed the kitchen to make pancakes. After eating and cleaning up she glanced at the clock. 10:30. Finally! Now it wouldn't be too early to call Nick Heatherton. Ziva grabbed her phone and dialed the number the NCIS database had turned up.

"Hello, Heatherton residence. Who's calling please?" A woman asked.

"This is Ziva David, I'm a friend of Damon Werth's. I lost his contact information and I was wondering if Nick had any idea how to get in touch with Damon?" Ziva lied slightly. She only knew that she wouldn't give anyone someone's contact information without knowing if they were friends before. Ziva for one liked to keep her information close to her.

"Hang on a second. Nick! Nick, phone! Nick!" As the woman Ziva assumed to be Nick's wife yelled for him, Ziva flinched and slightly held the phone away from her ear. She still never understood the people who yelled for people who were obviously not near the phone. How hard was it to put down the phone and go find whomever was wanted instead of bursting the caller's eardrums yelling?

"This is Nick."

"Hello Nick, I'm Ziva David, I'm a friend of Damon's. I lost his contact information. I was wondering if you might have it?"

"Damon, huh? Well I'm sorry I don't have that."

"You don't?," Ziva said, surprised, this man had been one of Damon's best friends.

"No, I don't. But hey, if you give me yours I'll give it to him."

"Thank you, Nick," Ziva said, reciting her information.

Nick read it back to her, making sure it was right before saying, "No problem. Ziva you said?"

"Yes. Ziva."

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Ziva."

"You too Nick and thank you for your help."

"No problem. Sorry I couldn't help more. Bye."

"Bye."

Ziva logged onto her computer, checked her messages and wrote back to her father. She decided to go grocery shopping.

She loved standing in the produce aisle, picking out fruits and vegetables, weighing them in her hands, deciding if they were good or not. She moved through the store methodically, checking items off of her list and forcing herself to focus on the task. Milk, eggs, butter, flour all the mundane things that went in to creating a household. By the time she checked out, she was feeling good about getting things back to normal.

Once at home, she quickly whipped up a batch of peanut butter cookies and started her cooking ritual. Cooking soothed her, everything fell into place when she cooked. It reminded her of her great-grandmother. When she was little, her grandmother had taught her how to cook reminding her that cooking, like life, was not an exact science. Her grandmother had cooked by guess and by golly not using measurements until Ziva wanted to cook with her. Gradually, Great-grandma had taught her to cook without as much measurement involved and while Ziva still relied on cups on tablespoons for most things, she also had learned how to just look at others and know what needed to be added.

Her cooking done, she boxed up the Tupperware containers that she needed to put away, dividing them by fridge and freezer and taking the others back down to her car. She drove to Gibbs' home. She had started cooking for him a few years ago and they had never gone back.

"Just me," she called as she stepped through the door. She didn't know why she bothered identifying herself. Had she been an intruder, Gibbs would have had her restrained and the police called before she got very far.

"Ziver?" Gibbs called from the living room.

"Yes. I brought you food."

Gibbs met her in the kitchen to investigate what she brought him, "Looks great Ziva."

"Thank you, Gibbs."

"Find your boy?"

"No. Werth is hard to track down. I tried PFC Nathan Stone, he had nothing but he took down my information just in case Damon calls him. I tried Heatherton, the same thing happened there."

"Whittney your next move?"

"Yes."

"You don't give up do you, Ziva?" Gibbs asked, staring at her face.

"No."

She remembered the words the therapist her mother took her to after they left her father. The therapist had said, "Ziva is single minded. Single minded even to the point of recklessness. She'll get what she wants, one way or the other." Ziva had been eavesdropping but the words rang true to her anyway.

"Ziva!" An angry sounding, and looking, Gibbs pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Sorry, what?" She said, properly chastened. Gibbs had been talking to her and she had been tuning him out.

"Ziva, you can't let this mess with your head like it has been. We need you at one hundred percent. I mean it. We all count on you. Tony, McGee, me, hell even Vance counts on you," he said, staring her down with his blue eyes.

"I know. I will get him out of my head," Ziva promised, as much to herself as to her team.

"Good. And Ziver?"

"Yes Gibbs?"

"You're never really alone."

"Good to know. See you at work tomorrow," she said, coming close to squeeze his shoulder.

"See ya," he said, putting a hand on her hand before she moved it and pressing down, gently, once before moving away and watching Ziva leave.

Ziva drove back to her apartment and curled up with a book and some tea. She enjoyed the book, now that she focused on concentrating on the characters and the plot. Soon she finished it and returned it to her 'return to the library' stack. She would need to go to the library soon and return them but it was too late now.

Instead she watched TV for awhile, eventually re-heated her dinner and ate and cleaned up. She pulled out her sig and started stripping it and cleaning it.

'You haven't fired your weapon so it's already clean,' Tony's voice in her head reminded her of a few years ago when they were undercover together.

"I know," she mumbled, "but I'm focusing."

Eventually Ziva ran out of things to do productively. She sighed and pulled out a ball of yarn. Her mother had taught her how to knit when she was young and he patience needed developing. Now she did it to relax, fill the time, or give her hands and mind something to do. Concentrating on the yarn, she made different patches, adding them into a pinned pattern. She was making a sweater for McGee. She would have made one for Tony but she knew Tony preferred t-shirts to relax in not sweaters. Gibbs would have taken one but he preferred his old Corps and NIS sweatshirts rather than sweaters. However, Ziva knew Tim would like the sweater. She'd been working at it almost a year. Knitting was always her last resort to turn to when everything was done but it was a way to fill the hours before bed. Almost all the pieces were done. Then Ziva would hand-stitch the pieces together, double threaded and double stitched to hold it together. She remembered her mother making sweaters for her, Tali, and even Ari when he lived with them. Each sweater took hours but Ziva had known how much love was poured into every stitch of the garment.

She thought of McGee now, of how much he, and all the team, meant to her. McGee seemed to possess a quiet strength. It could sneak up on you, overwhelm you if you forgot about it. Of everyone in her life now, McGee was the one who reminded her most of Tali. Loyal, compassionate, eager to please, and smart; the two were very much alike. She realized it was still early enough for a telephone call. She pulled out her phone and pushed 8. McGee's cell phone.

"Ziva?"

Of course, he had looked at the caller ID.

"Tim," she greeted him, a bit teasingly.

"Did Gibbs call? Have we got a case?"

Ziva felt bad, she hadn't just called him to spend time with him in a while.

"No Tim, we do not have a case. I was wondering if tomorrow I might come over after work? I'll bring dinner. Barring cases, of course."

"Yeah, you know you're welcome at any time Ziva. Of course you can come over. Sarah would love to see you too, you know."

"I will drop by Waverly and see her soon."

Sarah and Ziva had formed a friendship over the past few months and she now considered Ziva to be like a sister and enjoyed the Israeli's company.

"She'll like that. I'll see you tomorrow Ziva?"

"See you tomorrow Tim."

It was late enough now that it could be considered an acceptable bed time and Ziva put herself to bed, glad that she would spend tomorrow night with Tim.


	4. Fun and Games

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Work the next day irritated Ziva. Normally she wouldn't have minded the cold cases they'd been told to work on until they got a hot case but hours of desk work did tend to put a crimp in her mood. She was examining crime scene photos and Abby's evidence report and forensic analysis when it happened.

"Gibbs?"

"Yeah?" He looked as her as if to say, 'what do you got?'.

"I think I found something in this file. It says here that only three sets of prints were found at the scene, the dead Petty Officer, his wife and the neighbor who helped the wife out occasionally. And Abby's analysis shows that the knife only contained DNA from the Petty Officer but the neighbor was out of town at a business conference. Gibbs, I think his wife killed him. Even Ducky's autopsy report says that the cuts and angle look like they were made by someone who is left-handed. And Laura Carr is…"

"Left-handed," Gibbs interrupted.

"Abby should retest the knife against any powders or residue left by gloves, Gibbs. Laura would have had easy access to latex and non-latex gloves since she was a part time nurse."

"That's good work Ziva. Who was the lead agent on that case?"

"Hanson. Special Agent Trey Hanson."

"DiNozzo."

"Already on it boss."

Tony got out of his chair and went to find Trey Hanson. McGee called Abby and told her about Ziva's breakthrough. Abby retested the evidence and then called Gibbs to confirm.

"Ziva was right Gibbs. I should have thought of that."

"Not your fault Abs. Just glad we can finally shut the case."

Ziva worked on her case report and finally handed it in to Gibbs along with Abby's revised forensic report.

"That's a good job, Officer David."

Ziva nodded in acknowledgement of Gibbs' praise before picking up another file. Gibbs took the file back.

"No way, David. Eat something first."

"I feel fine, Gibbs."

"It's lunch time. Go eat. Tim, Tony, take ten, go eat."

The men scrambled out of their seats and went to the elevator to go get food. Ziva joined them. She got a burrito from her favorite Mexican take out place, Tony returned (late) with a pizza while McGee got Chinese and remembered to get food for Gibbs too. The rest of the day passed uneventfully unless you'd count Tony being Gibbs slapped for throwing paper airplanes across the bullpen as eventful, which Ziva didn't, although some other agents snickered. Finally it was time to go home. Ziva logged out of her computer and got out of her desk with a sigh, stretching. It had been a long day but it felt good to have solved a case. She grabbed her food out of the employee fridge and headed to McGee's.

"Hey Ziva, let's go up," Tim said, as they both exited their cars simultaneously.

Ziva followed him and then re-heated some beef stroganoff. Tim loved it when she made it.

"Ooh, nice choice Ziva. I got cheesecake during lunch today for us. It's chocolate chip. They didn't have the Baliey's one I know you like, I hope this is okay."

"It looks delicious Tim," Ziva said truthfully. And it did. It looked creamy and just the right amount of dense.

"Wine?" Tim asked her.

"Yes please."

"Red or white?"

Ziva smiled, it was just like Tim to let his guest make all the decisions. "White would be lovely, thank you Tim," Ziva said, choosing the white because she knew he liked it better than the red.

"Ziva?"

"Yes Tim?"

"You did a good job on that case today. Abby and I should have caught it before," Tim said, blushing and mumbling slightly.

"At least someone caught it, yes?"

"True. Ziva this is delicious!"

Ziva laughed, "Even better than last time Tim?"

"Every time I swear I'm imagining it and every time it gets better!"

"Well I don't know about that Tim, but thank you."

"We should do something fun. How about a game?"

"A game?"

"Yeah. Unless you don't want to?"

"No, no, a game sounds like fun," Ziva said.

"Uh, okay, what would you like to play?"

"Truth or consequences?" She quizzed, wondering what Tim would say.

"Uh-oh. I don't think I should play that with a Mossad Officer," Tim said, with a worried look on his face.

"Do not worry Tim. I will not ask you to do anything too embarrassing."

"Define too embarrassing?"

"Something too far outside the boundaries of your comfort zone. I can start, if you like."

"Sure, okay Ziva, truth or dare?"

"Truth please."

"What do you miss most about Israel?"

"The sun. It feels so much closer there than here in DC. I feel so much warmer there. Especially with the winters here. Truth or consequences Tim?"

"Truth."

"What's something you miss about your childhood?"

"My mom's cherry pie, it could wipe away any problems that you were having at the moment. Truth or dare?"

"Truth, Tim."

"Why do you always call me McGee at the office but Tim when we hang out?"

"I guess at the office it just seems that McGee is what everyone calls you, so I figured I would follow along. When I am spending time with you, well, Tim seems to fit better. Why? Are you offended by the McGee, Tim?"

"No, but I was curious. Your turn."

"Truth or consequences, Tim?"

"Truth."

"Why did you break up with Abby? And do not say rule number twelve, I hate when people use that as an excuse."

"Rule number twelve is a part of it Ziva. Back when I was the newbie, I thought Gibbs would kill me, or fire me, for breaking any of his rules. But also because Abby and I were looking for different things. She wanted something fun, something just for now. I've always been more of a permanent guy. I've never liked thinking of relationships having an expiration date. And Abby's personality and mine don't match on just about everything. But a part of me still loves her and a part of me still hopes for something more. I know it's stupid but I can't help it."

Ziva gently squeezed Tim's hand, "You are not stupid Tim. I think all of us feel that way about our first love."

"Thanks Ziva. So, truth or dare?"

"Consequences."

"I dare you to prank call Tony."

Ziva smirked. "Is that all Tim?"

"Yup."

Ziva pulled out her phone, blocked the number and then called Tony, pressing speakerphone and motioning for Tim to be quiet.

"Hello?"

"Hello is this Mr. Anthony Dominic DiNozzo Jr?" Ziva asked, putting on a British accent.

"Yes, who are you?"

"I got your number from a friend of yours, John, he said you were looking for a committed, steady relationship. Well, here I am."

"He said WHAT? Again? Okay, seriously, this isn't funny any more. I'm gonna kill him."

"Oh but he told me all about you. I think I'm in love."

"No, no, you don't want me. I'm not a good date and I'm not looking for commitment. Please, lose the number."

"No, he said if I keep trying that you'll be with me."

"Argh! Listen lady, I'm sure you're great but I have a friend who has ways of tracing this number and he'll make sure that you can't ever contact me again."

McGee was hysterical with silent giggles at this point.

"But Anthony, I love you!"

At Tony's frustrated growl Ziva started laughing. "It is just me Tony."

"Ziva? Ziva, oh thank… You know what, screw you Ziva, this wasn't funny."

"It was very funny. Say hi to McGee."

"You had me on speakerphone?"

"Didn't realize you were that commitment-phobic Tony," McGee said.

"You guys are horrible. Let me guess. Ziva conned you into playing truth or dare Probie?"

"Yeah but it's been fun."

"Uh-huh. Like those calls from your agent were fun?" Tony asked.

"That was you guys?"

"Sorry Tim," Ziva said, looking ashamed.

"Well I'm not sorry Probie-wan-kenobi. Whose idea was this so I know who to kill?"

"The phone call idea was McGee's. The crazy British girl was mine."

"Should'a figured you guys would tag team me. I'll see you at work."

Ziva hung up, laughing. "Whose turn is it?"

"Yours."

"Truth or consequences Tim?"

The bottle of wine was gone now and both Tim and Ziva were rather drunk.

"Dare," Tim said, feeling brave.

"Prank call Gibbs."

"Me? Now? Are you crazy?"

"No, but Tony, Abby, Jimmy and I have all prank called you at one point or another. I figured it's about time you prank called someone."

"But it's Gibbs!"

"And what's he going to do? Head slap you?" Ziva challenged.

"You're right, give me the phone."

McGee dialed.

"Yeah Gibbs," Gibbs' growl sounded from the other end of the phone.

McGee said nothing.

"Hello? Hello? Is someone there? Hello? Okay, I'm hanging up now."

Five minutes later McGee's cell phone rang.

"Hello?"

"McGee. Both you and Officer David are in enormous trouble when you come in to work tomorrow. You want to play truth or consequences? I'll show you truth or consequences."

McGee gulped, "Sorry boss."

"Not as sorry as you're gonna be McGee. Get your ass to bed. Make Ziva stay on your couch."

"Yes boss."

"Night McGee."

"Night boss."

"So what did he say?" Ziva asked as McGee hung up the phone.

"We're in trouble. You're staying here. I'll make up the couch for me, you can take the bed. Boss says good night," McGee recited.

"Calm down McGee, it will not be that bad, I am sure of it."

"Well that makes one of us," McGee said, getting up off the couch and going to get blankets and a pillow to make up the couch into a bed. Ziva collected the dirty dishes and washed them while Tim made his bed.

"Ziva?"

"Yes Tim?"

"Thanks for tonight, it was really fun, even with Gibbs getting mad at us."

"You are welcome. Thank you for having me and letting me stay."

"Night Ziva."

"Night Tim."

As Ziva closed her eyes she realized that she hadn't thought about Damon Werth once tonight.


	5. Back to Normal

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

The next morning Ziva got up early and did sit ups and push ups because she didn't like running in unfamiliar areas. She finished and then made eggs and toaster waffles for herself and McGee. She showered quickly and then woke Tim.

"Wha… oh. Morning Ziva."

"Morning Tim. There's eggs and waffles in the kitchen. Did you sleep well?"

"Well enough but not great, the couch isn't all that comfortable. Gibbs is gonna kill us when we show up for work."

"No, he won't."

"How do you know?" McGee asked, getting up and heading for the shower.

"Because McGee, he cares about all of us. He won't hurt any of us."

"I'm back to McGee?" Tim asked, calling through the bathroom door.

"We will be at work in a few hours Tim. I wanted to get back in the habit."

While McGee showered, Ziva folded the blankets on the couch, putting them away again and straightening up the living room a bit.

"Wow. Thanks Ziva."

"You are welcome. Go eat."

After eating, they each headed to work.

"McGee. Ziva," Gibbs growled.

"Gibbs," Ziva said coolly, staring back.

"Boss, we're really sorry," McGee began.

"Front and center, the both of you."

They moved quickly to do as Gibbs wanted.

"You will never do something like that again, understood?"

"Yes boss, sorry boss," McGee said.

"Don't apologize, McGee. It's a sign of weakness. Ziva, do you understand?"

"Yes Gibbs."

"Good. Then we're done here. Get to work."

Both agents happily sat at their desks, reading cold case files. When Tony came in, he tried to mess with Ziva to get her back for the phone call the night before. He had flowers delivered to her desk with a card from Damon Werth. However he'd forgotten Ziva's tracking skills. She tracked down the florist and got a description of the man who had purchased the flowers. Tony, getting a snack from the vending machine, didn't notice. Ziva dumped the flowers in the trash and walked to Tony's desk as he sat down.

"You," she said, her voice quiet and deadly.

"Yes?" Tony asked warily.

"You sent me flowers."

"No I didn't Ziva. Damon Werth did."

"Nice try, Tony. The florist used your credit card number and described you perfectly."

"You know my credit card number?" Tony asked, looking worried.

"All right you two, enough," Gibbs said, "Ziva, I'm sorry that you can't find Damon Werth. Tony, do something that stupid again and it won't just be a head slap you'll get. Get back to work."

"Yes boss," Tony said.

Ziva continued reading the cold case files but there was nothing. No clue, no piece of evidence, no interrogation report, autopsy report or forensic analysis that shed any light on these murders. They got lunch and continued working. At dinner time, McGee packed up and left. Tony stayed, calling his favorite pizza delivery place and Ziva heated up her dinner in the microwave. Gibbs went out for coffee and came back with just coffee. Ziva nearly let herself tear up thinking of Damon Werth. She was so close, so open, so ready to be in a real relationship and at the last second she had lost him. She had lost him because she hesitated. She buried her face in her hands with a sigh.

"Go home Ziva. It's late and you've been working hard. You too DiNozzo. See you tomorrow."

"Bye boss," Tony said while packing up.

"Shalom Gibbs," Ziva said, grabbing her coat and bag.

"Ziva, do you need to come to my place?" Tony asked, giving his friend a worried look.

"No," Ziva said coolly.

"C'mon Ziva. I'm sorry about the flowers. It was stupid. I shouldn't have done it."

"No, you should not have."

"Am I forgiven?" Tony asked, placing a hand on Ziva's shoulder, and smiling at the Israeli.

"Yes. Tony, I am sorry. It's just that Damon… he's… he's well… uh… different," Ziva said, internally cursing herself for stumbling over her words.

"He's your Jeanne Benoit," Tony said, sympathetically.

"Yes, yes he is. Pizza, cheesecake and a movie?" Ziva asked as they got to their cars.

"Done. I'll call them on the way over. I suppose you want to watch the Tenth Kingdom again?" Tony asked, with a slight groan. It was one of Ziva's favorite movies and she had seen it so often now that she could recite the dialogue along with the actors.

"Unless you'd rather watch Alice," Ziva said, grinning at Tony.

"I am going to kill McGee for showing you that movie."

"It is a good movie Tony."

"For those nerds that like Sci-fi maybe. But I prefer other things."

"So Tenth Kingdom or Alice?" Ziva challenged, already knowing which one Tony would pick.

"Tenth Kingdom," he said sighing and getting into his car. What Ziva didn't know was that Tony was working on a project. He'd gotten a friend of his to translate the whole movie into Hebrew and then had McGee work on making the tones of the actors match the now dubbed Hebrew. There was also a book that was almost the same as the movie. Tony had gotten Ziva a copy of the book as well. He figured it would make a good holiday present for the Israeli. McGee, picking up on Tony's project, was dubbing Alice and had gotten Ziva an old copy of Alice in Wonderland.

Ziva drove to Tony's trying not to think of Damon Werth. She was unsuccessful and felt like beating her head through a wall. Today had seemed so normal. Hopefully the pizza, cheesecake and movie would help. Arriving at Tony's she discovered he wasn't home yet. She picked the lock, let herself in, and turned on the TV. She looked through Tony's movie collection before finding The Tenth Kingdom and placing it in the DVD player. Keys jingled in the lock. Ziva silently drew her weapon and waited. The lock clicked, and she found herself staring down the barrel of another Sig.

"Gah! Jesus Ziva, you scared me! Stop doing that! I'll get you your own key, all you gotta do is ask," Tony said, complaining.

"Fine, then I would like my own key," Ziva said, holding out her hand.

Tony opened a drawer in the kitchen, pulling out an extra key. He handed it to Ziva. "There. Now you have no reason to pick my lock."

"Thank you, Tony."

A knock on the door signaled the pizza delivery and Tony paid the guys from the pizza place and the bakery.

"I got you your favorite, Ziva. Alfredo pizza with extra chicken and extra mushrooms," Tony called as he walked back into the living room. He'd heard Ziva moving around in the back of his apartment.

"You do not like alfredo pizza Tony," Ziva called back and came back into the front room.

"I know. I got my usual too. And there's brownie cheesecake," Tony said, setting them down.

Tony got glasses of Pepsi, paper plates and napkins before returning to the living room and sitting on the couch next to Ziva and starting the movie.

Ziva sat and ate, drank, and watched the movie. She was grateful for the food, the soda and the distraction of the movie. She loved the plot, the characters, and the sets. Tony watched Ziva watch the movie. She looked much more relaxed and happy than she had since meeting Damon Werth. Eventually, Ziva began snoring. Tony paused the DVD and began to slowly and silently clean the living room. He put the food away and then got Ziva a pillow and a few blankets. He eased her back on the couch and she awoke, gripping Tony's arm.

"Tony?" she asked sleepily, questioningly.

"Yeah it's me. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Um-hum," Ziva mumbled, sinking into the couch and letting go of Tony's arm. "Night Tony."

"Night Ziva."

In the morning, Ziva awoke with a start, panicking until she recognized her surroundings. She was at Tony's. She relaxed, getting up and folding her blankets. In the living room closet there were a few of her outfits. This wasn't the first time she'd stayed at Tony's. She grabbed her running clothes, laced up her sneakers and left a note for Tony in the kitchen. As she ran she pounded out her problem with Damon Werth for what seemed like the millionth time. She liked running at Tony's almost as much as running at her own apartment. DC was just waking up, the sun coming over the horizon as she finished. She let herself back in to Tony's apartment. He was still snoring so she got in the shower. After quickly showering, she woke Tony, who was repeatedly hitting the snooze button on his alarm clock.

"Get up, Tony."

"No, it's early."

"We have to get up. We have work."

"Zee-vah," Tony complained, "Go away."

"Not going to happen," Ziva said, getting on the bed and bouncing on it.

Tony grumbled a few curse words in Italian before getting up and heading for the shower. Ziva made his bed and laid out a suit for him for work before heading into the kitchen. She grabbed a cold slice of pizza, biting into it and letting out a happy moan.

"Cold pizza? Really Ziva?" Tony asked, grabbing a breakfast burrito out of the freezer and heating it up.

"I like cold pizza Tony."

Tony shuddered and then ate his burrito. "Feeling any better this morning, Ziva?"

"Not really Tony." Ziva admitted.

"Well I'm sorry Ziva. I wish I could find Werth for you. Even though he broke my nose."

"I know you would if you could Tony."

"Let's get to work, yeah?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, work sounds like a good thing."

"Wanna ride in with me or are you going to take your own car?"

"I will drive my own car Tony but thank you for the offer."

"Welcome."

Ziva locked up and she and Tony headed to the Navy yard. She was hoping that they'd be assigned a case. Anything to keep her mind busy.


	6. How

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

This chapter is dedicated to DarkShadow722 for reviewing every chapter! Thank you!

Damon Werth lay on his bed in a crappy motel. He'd been denied the Silver Star. His career was over. The only thing he'd wanted out of life was taken away. He sighed, flipping on the TV but daytime TV couldn't hold his attention. He was thinking about a certain brunette Israeli woman. He couldn't get Ziva out of his head. The way she had been gentle with him while he was in the hospital and how she was convinced that he wasn't the bad guy. He was willing to bet it was because of Ziva that Agent Gibbs had given him the older man's Silver Star. Damon turned the medal over and over in his hands. He didn't really deserve it. That much he knew now. He'd been taking illegal drugs, risking his life. Hell, risking his unit's life too and he knew that went against everything the Corps taught. He hit the bed with one fist. "Damn it!"

He wanted to see Ziva. He had no idea how to get in touch with her. He'd been discharged and he had nothing to go to. He had no home, no place to go really. He knew that with the drug use being in the open his parents would really be less than eager to see him. He'd gotten the motel at least until he could figure out what his next step was. He'd gone grocery shopping yesterday. But he found that he still wasn't hungry.

"Damn it!" he yelled, before picking up the phone and the calling card he'd gotten yesterday. He called his parents.

"Hello?"

"Hi Mom."

"Damon," she was cool towards him.

"How are you guys?" he asked. He missed his parents and was sorry for his behavior.

"We're fine, I guess. As much as we can be fine knowing we have a drug addict for a son."

"Mom, that's not… That's not how it happened. And I'm clean now. I promise you I'll stay clean."

"Right. Oh and by the way, stop giving people this number."

"People? Mom, I've never given out this number." He said, surprised.

"Oh really?" Damon's mom said icily. "Because a few days ago an officer called here looking for you. Said her last name was David."

"Did she leave a number?" Damon asked, grabbing a pen and paper.

"She did but I didn't write it down. Honestly Damon, are you in trouble?"

"No mom. I'm not in trouble. Officer David and I met when she was investigating my case. She may have wanted more information for the case." Damon was not hoping this was the case. He was hoping that Ziva was trying to contact him for another reason. Maybe she felt the same spark that he had.

"Well I don't have her contact information. Get clean Damon. Then we'll talk."

"Okay. Bye Mom."

"Bye Damon."

As the dial tone buzzed in Damon's ear, he sighed and hung up. He really hoped Ziva was looking for him but that it wasn't anything to do with his case. The way he figured the case was pretty open and shut. Marine dosed himself to be a Marine. Ended up with steroid-induced psychosis and ended up with a Swiss cheese brain. Finally went crazy. Yup, open and shut. He didn't remember hitting Ziva in the eye. He didn't remember breaking DiNozzo's nose or dislocating McGee's shoulder. He didn't remember anything. All he could remember was that he had felt that fight or flight and he felt that his unit was in danger. He would do anything, even kill, to protect them. That's why he asked Gibbs to help him. He kept feeling like he wanted to kill someone, anyone. When he saw Ziva's eye when she came to visit him in Bethesda he was instantly ashamed. He had been raised that you never hit a woman. Never. No matter what the circumstances. And not only had he blackened Ziva's eye, he had broken Tony's nose and dislocated McGee's shoulder. He felt horrible. He never would have hurt people that he knew were on his side had he been thinking clearly. And Ziva… Ziva had been impressive. He didn't remember the fight but he had seen the other agents and their injuries. There was no way an ordinary woman would have come out with just a black eye. Damon felt his mouth pull into a smile. He bet Ziva would be a handful. He'd love to get back in touch with her.

A little while later, he got up and ate a sandwich. Then he called PFC Nathan Stone.

"Hello?"

"Nate."

"Corporal. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Nate," Damon said with a sigh.

"No, you're not fine Corporal. I can tell. What gives?"

"I've got a girl problem Private."

"Huh, does this girl by chance happen to be Ziva David?" Nate teased.

"Yes. How did you know?"

"The lovely lady stopped by to see me. Promised me a good home cooked dinner when I get out of this damn hospital. She left me her contact information just in case you'd get in touch with me Corporal."

"She wanted me to get in touch with her?" Damon asked, hardly daring to believe it.

"Oh yeah. She does Corporal."

"Give me then," Damon said grabbing a pen and paper. Nate recited Ziva's contact information. "Thanks Stone."

"No problem Corporal. Oh, and Corporal?"

"Yeah?"

"She likes you. Don't screw it up."

"Aww, man, screw you," Damon said while silently promising 'I won't'

"Gonna come visit me soon Corporal?"

"Yeah, I will."

"Good. It's boring as hell around here."

"Bye Private."

"See ya Corporal."

Damon hung up and then paced around his hotel room. Ziva wanted him to get in touch with her. But what if he did screw it all up? On the other hand, if he didn't try, he knew he'd regret it for the rest of his life. He dialed before he could convince himself otherwise.

"Shalom?"

"Ziva, it's Corporal Werth. Damon Werth. Do you remember me?" he asked hoping that she did.

"Damon, hi. Yes I do. So you called one of your contacts?"

"Yeah PFC Stone."

Ziva laughed gently. "I will have to bake him a lasagna."

"Mmm, that sounds good Officer David."

"Please call me Ziva."

"Ziva then. I'm glad that you left your number with him."

"Me too. How are you Damon?" she asked, and Damon knew she really wanted to know.

"I… I don't really know how I am, Ziva. I'm clean but I feel weak. And weird. I just don't know. How are you?"

"I am…" Ziva paused, making Damon nervous, "I am… lonely."

Damon felt his lips tug downward. He didn't like Ziva feeling lonely. "Do you want some company?"

"Sure, that would be nice."

"See you in a few then," Damon said after he'd written down the address of Ziva's apartment.

Damon drove through the DC streets and he wanted to speed but he knew that was a bad idea. He couldn't wait to see Ziva. He finally arrived and went to her door and knocked.

Ziva answered the door with a lax-looking grip on a gun. When she saw it was Damon, she re-holstered it, "Damon, hi."

"Hey there Ziva."

Ziva stepped back, allowing Damon to enter her home. He looked around a bit. "You have a nice place."

"Thank you. I, uh, I made food. I hope that's all right."

"That's fine. Thank you."

"You are welcome. Come sit down and eat."

Damon washed up at the kitchen sink and then sat down. Ziva muttered a quick prayer in Hebrew before digging in. It was a salad but it was good. This surprised Damon, he generally liked meat and potatoes over salad.

"I'm sorry it's only salad tonight Damon."

"It's okay Ziva, it's good. You like to cook?"

"I love to cook and bake, it makes me feel close to my mother and grandmother. They taught me how to cook and bake. Every time I do, I feel like they're there with me. I can remember our conversations and how secure I felt until I learned the truth about my father. This must sound stupid to you."

"Not at all, Ziva. It's sweet. And it's nice that you can remember the good stuff. I wish I had had that with my mom or dad."

Ziva reached out and took Damon's hand. "What was it like, growing up?"

"It was normal to me. Dad always wanted me to be a Marine, said it was the closest thing to SAS that America had. Mom wasn't too keen on it but I was. So I got into shape and had my dad train me."

Ziva nodded, she knew all about fathers and training. "It's not easy being a disappointment, is it?" Ziva asked.

"How…? No, it's not. You too?" Damon asked, squeezing Ziva's hand sympathetically.

"Me too," Ziva said, nodding.

Ziva got up to clear the plates but Damon stopped her. "I got it."

"Thank you, Damon."

Damon washed the few dishes and then placed them in the dish drainer. "Thanks for dinner, Ziva."

"You are welcome."

The pair moved to the living room and sat on the couch. They talked about running, service and duty to their countries, and most surprisingly, books.

"You cannot seriously think that Emma is the best Jane Austen novel," Ziva said.

"What's wrong with Emma? Strong female lead."

"She is annoying, whiny and she does not behave, even when it would benefit her."

"Okay then, enlighten me, Miss David, what's the best Jane Austen novel?" Damon asked, laughing.

"Pride and Prejudice in my opinion."

"Mr. Darcy huh?"

"Yes but more so Elizabeth Bennett. She is smart, quick, sassy, and while she does break some social customs, she has much better behavior than Emma."

Damon couldn't help but laugh again. As he did so he realized that he hadn't laughed that much in a long time.

"It is late," Ziva said, pulling Damon out of his thoughts, "Would you like to stay tonight? I can get you blankets and a pillow to make up the couch."

"I'd like that Ziva, thank you."

They'd said good night and Damon's last conscious thought was 'I'm glad she found me.'


	7. Alone

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Ziva woke up drenched in sweat, gasping for air, her heart hammering. She screamed, a long note that was filled with sheer terror.

Damon, on the couch, heard her and got up walking to her room. He knocked on the door. Ziva's breathing was rapid, shallow, and he knew that if she didn't calm down she'd hyperventilate. "Ziva. Ziva, hey," he said, approaching her and gently lying a hand on her shoulder. Ziva grabbed his arm and twisted it behind his back with a force that surprised him. "Ow! Ziva. Ziva, it's me. It's Damon. Let go Ziva. It's okay I'm not going to hurt you." Ziva's hazel eyes were unfocused and Damon knew she probably didn't know him at the moment. If he fought back, he could trigger her to fight more. "Ziva, shhh… you're in your apartment. You're safe. I'm Damon; I'm a friend. Let me go Ziva," Damon said soothingly. Ziva's grip loosened enough that Damon could get free.

"Damon?" Ziva asked, her breathing still rapid and shallow.

"Yeah, it's me," Damon said, putting his hand back on Ziva's shoulder.

"Can't… breathe… Damon," Ziva gasped.

"I know, I know. Will you let me help you?"

Ziva nodded. Damon sat down and pulled her into his lap. He cradled her to him and placed her ear over his heart.

"Okay Ziva, can you hear my heart beat?"

Ziva nodded.

"Okay. Breathe with me. In now out. Good girl. In. Out," Damon coached. Eventually Ziva's breathing returned to normal. Her heart rate was still high but at least she was breathing normally.

"Thank you, Damon."

"You're welcome. Want to talk about it?"

"Not really," Ziva said.

"Ziva this looks like PTSD. We should talk about it," Damon said, holding her close.

"When I first joined NCIS it was because I needed a sanctuary from Mossad. My father… My father's been so wrapped up in his own agenda and plans that he'd forgotten how to lead properly. He had me become a control officer for my brother."

"Aren't there rules against that, Ziva? Like families can't serve in the same unit?"

"Not when your director gives you an order. He knew Ari had gone rogue but he told me that Ari was still following orders. In the end, Ari had to be stopped. He killed Special Agent Caitlyn Todd. He was going to kill Gibbs too. And I… I… Damon, I killed Ari!"

When Ziva finished her confession, she was sobbing. Damon cradled her, rocking her slightly. "Shh, Ziva. Shh. Your dad never should have made you Ari's control officer. I am so sorry."

"I don't believe that my father thought I would kill Ari. But I don't believe that my father wanted Gibbs dead either."

"When was this, Ziva?"

"Two years ago."

"Did you ever… see someone about it?" Damon asked, hoping he didn't offend Ziva.

"Like a therapist?"

"Yeah, or something."

"No. No, I would rather deal with it on my own," Ziva said, hugging Damon slightly.

"Okay. It's okay Ziva."

"The official report says Gibbs' killed Ari and that it was self-defense."

"Oh Ziva, no one knows?"

"Just Gibbs. Well you and Gibbs now."

"I'm honored."

"What I do not understand, still, is why. When we were children, Ari was a wonderful big brother. He promised me the moon, got me a few stars. He protected me from our father's big "plans". Everything was good when Ari and I worked as a team. At least until Tali died. Maybe that was what set him off?"

"Your sister?"

"Yes. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. A coffee shop was blown up by Palestinians."

"Damn it," Damon growled and held Ziva tighter. Anything that caused this woman, his woman, pain brought out his urge to kill.

"Tony told me a few months ago that Kate had had a chance to kill Ari in autopsy. She didn't."

"He say why?"

"He said Kate said there was something about Ari's eyes. And I like to think that Ari still remembered Tali and I."

"Oh Ziva. I wish things had been different for you."

"Ari made his own choices Damon. There was nothing I could have done."

"I know. And I'm glad that you know too. What did you see?"

Ziva sighed, "The same thing I always see Damon. My gun, me, standing out of sight. Ari taunting Gibbs, aiming, about to kill him. And then my weapon fires, Ari drops. Gibbs, being Gibbs, leaves us alone in the basement. He squeezes my thumb and lets me mourn my brother. And then I wake up, screaming."

"He was your brother, Ziva. It makes sense that you would have terrors."

"But Ari is not the first person I have seen die, nor the first one I killed. In my world, people die, it is life. Ari was a job, just like everything else."

"Hey, listen to me. Ari was more than a job or a target. He was your brother."

Ziva hugged Damon again, surprising the former Marine.

"You know you are the first person to understand?"

"Ziva, I'm sure that's not true."

"Yes it is. Tony, McGee, Abby, Ducky, Jimmy. They knew they lost Kate. They did not care that I lost someone too."

"They didn't know, Ziva. They couldn't have known. And the report says that Gibbs killed Ari."

"Even Gibbs. He did not trust me. He assumed somehow that because I had killed my brother to save an innocent man that I would turn my back on him if he needed me as well. What Gibbs doesn't know is that the Ari I knew had been dead for a long time. I just didn't want to see it."

"How did you gain Gibbs' trust?"

"I killed a woman who was going to kill Ducky. From that point on I was an asset, trusted, but still on the outside. Not a team member. It's taken this long for them to view me as a member but I am still on the outside."

"Gibbs know how you feel?"

"No. It is not Gibbs problem that I feel unwanted and alone."

"You'll never be alone again Ziva. I don't know how you feel about me but I feel something for you Ziva. If you'll let me I'd like to be here for you."

"I'd like that Damon."

Damon got up, taking Ziva with him. "What are you doing, Damon?"

"Putting you on the couch. Your sheets are still soaked. I'm going to change them for you."

"Damon, you do not have to…"

"I know I don't have to. I want to."

"Then put me down so I can get fresh pajamas and change."

Damon obliged and went to Ziva's linen closet.

As Ziva changed, she couldn't shake her nightmare about Ari. Damon was right, talking about it had helped. But she remembered what Tony said, "I'd wish you luck, but I want the bastard dead too." He hadn't known Ari was her brother, and she knew that, but his comment cut her to the quick. She hadn't let it show on her face and Tony hadn't picked up on that.

When she came out of the bathroom, Damon had her bed all made up and turned down. "Get some sleep, Ziva."

Ziva came forward and hugged Damon again. This stuck him as odd because he figured Ziva wasn't a touchy-feely person.

"Good night Damon."

"Night Ziva."

Damon went back to the couch. He was glad he had finally told Ziva how he felt about her. It annoyed him that her father could send her to kill her own brother without thinking about the consequences to Ziva. Did he really think that Ziva wouldn't be affected? Or maybe he wanted his daughter out of the way. With Ziva at NCIS he didn't need to lie to her. Damon sighed, threw his pillow at the ceiling and then retrieved it, punching it down and then settling back on the couch. Damn it, he hated thinking right before bed. He had learned to shut off his mind in the Corps but it was easier to shut off your mind if you weren't thinking at all. Damon relaxed and breathed eventually dropped off to sleep.

The rest of the night was uneventful. In the morning, Damon awoke with a start. He was in an unfamiliar place. He heard shifting in the background. He was off the couch in seconds and moving silently towards the noise. He caught someone around the waist and plowed them to the floor.

"Ouch! Damn it Damon! Let me go!"

Damon dropped his hands as though he'd been burned. Ziva. "Ziva. Shit, Ziva, I'm sorry."

Ziva sat up, assessing for injuries, "I am fine Damon. Would you like to go running with me?"

"Sure, that sounds like fun."

They ran six miles, easily in silence. When they got back Damon indicated the bathroom.

"Ladies first, Miss David."

"Thank you Corporal."

As Ziva showered, Damon made breakfast. Scrambled eggs, turkey sausage and orange juice. When Ziva came out of the bedroom, changed and ready to eat, Damon went to shower. When he came back Ziva was sitting at the table.

"You made breakfast."

"Figured it was a good idea. Good chow?"

"Very good, Damon, thank you."

"Welcome," Damon said, letting his eyes briefly roam over Ziva's body. She was wearing cargo pants and a nice sweater. "Going to work?"

"Yes. What about you Damon? Do you have a job?"

"Not yet. I was thinking about being a waiter. I'm not really trained for the job market. I never went to college. Went to the Corps straight out of high school. Only job I've ever had other than the Corps was a frozen yogurt scooper."

"But you want to stay in DC?" Ziva asked.

Damon smiled and snaked an arm around Ziva's waist, pulling her onto his lap. She laughed a bit. "Well my girl's here. So yeah, I'd like to stay close."

"Where are you staying, Damon?"

"A crappy motel."

"Not anymore you are not. Get your stuff and bring it here. You can take the couch."

"Thanks Ziva."

Ziva handed him a key. "Here. I have to go to work. See you tonight?"

"See you tonight."


	8. Distractions

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

When Ziva got to NCIS she went to her desk, pulled up her e-mail and then began searching for apartments that were close to NCIS with two bedrooms. Eventually she found one that looked decent. She called and scheduled a viewing. She hoped Damon would find a job. She could handle the rent and bills but she knew that Damon didn't like feeling useless or just not having work in general. She settled in to work.

"Gear up. We got a case," Gibbs said.

After a ton of confusion, McGee was bitten by a dog. McGee shot him, which made Abby angry. Eventually the dog was cleared, the case was solved, and McGee was still wearing a sling and scowling.

"You do not like dogs McGee?"

"Not really Ziva. I've had too many bad experiences. Bitten, clawed, growled at, etc."

"I'm sorry Tim."

"Not as sorry as I am. Abby hates me."

"Oh McGee Abby could never hate you. She is mad, sure but she could never hate you," Ziva said, giving McGee a concerned and caring look.

"Go home Ziva," Gibbs said, walking into the bullpen.

"But Gibbs, I have paperwork," Ziva protested.

"And it'll be here in the morning. Go home."

Ziva collected her belongings and went to her car. She hadn't been home in two days. She'd called Damon and he'd said he understood. She wasn't too eager to go home however and this scared her.

Eventually she made it home. "Hey Ziva, I made spaghetti. Are you hungry?" Damon asked the second she walked in the door. He grabbed her go-bag and purse for her. It was nice but it startled Ziva. She wasn't sure that she was ready for a live-in – friend – for lack of a better word. 'You asked him to live here you idiot,' she thought to herself.

"Sure, just let me go clean up."

"All right." Damon put her dirty clothes into her laundry basket and left her bag unzipped next to her bed, leaving her purse next to the bag. He then dished out the food. "So how was work?" Damon asked as she reappeared in the kitchen.

"It was fine I guess. McGee got bitten by a dog."

"Poor guy. Is McGee okay?"

"He will be."

"Something wrong?" Damon asked looking concerned and putting down his fork.

"I want to run something by you."

"Okay, shoot."

"So I was thinking we should get an apartment, big enough for the two of us. What do you think?"

"You'd want me to stay?" Damon said, a shocked expression on his face.

"Yes Damon I do. Is that all right with you?" Ziva asked, realizing that that's what she wanted.

"Yeah. Yeah that's all right with me," Damon said and dug back into his meal.

Ziva abandoned her spaghetti and went to sit in Damon's lap. "Mmm, what's this for?"

"I missed you."

"Me too, do you have to work such long hours?"

"Yes. I know it is straining but it is my job."

"I know," Damon said, pulling her closer to him. "Not hungry?" Damon asked, indicating Ziva's barely touched plate.

"I wanted to be close to you."

Damon stood, still holding Ziva. He pulled her plate, salad, and drink next to his own and sat back down. "Better?"

"Much. So, uh, do not be mad at me?"

"Uh-oh. What did you do, Ziva?" Damon said, looking worried.

"I scheduled a viewing for tomorrow for an apartment."

"Now why would I be mad about that?"

"I do not know. I just thought that if you were, we could talk it out."

"Not mad. Eat."

Ziva took a bite of spaghetti and mumbled around it, "Did you find a job?"

"Yeah I did. Place is a bar and grill. Called Nate's Place."

"Nate's Place? I have been there," Ziva said, thinking about the last time she had gone for drinks with Tony. It was a hole in the wall. A dark place, with dark paneling and bad lighting.

"They told me on the nights that you work late I can work the bar, make some extra cash."

"What about sleep?"

"I can sleep at any time, Ziva. It's part of my training."

"You will take care of yourself," Ziva said, cupping Damon's face in her hands.

"Yes I will. Now eat."

Ziva dug back in to her meal. When she finished her meal she got up to do the dishes.

"Ah ah, I got it," Damon said.

"You cooked," Ziva protested.

"And you have work to do. I don't. Let me clean."

As Ziva went to her go bag and got out the case paperwork she had been working on, she noticed the straightened living room, the bathroom and the bedroom. Damon had obviously cleaned up. She smiled slightly. She supposed tonight she would have to tell him where all of her weapons were hidden so he didn't surprise himself. She got the papers and her laptop and went back to the kitchen table. Damon was at the sink, she watched the muscles in his back move and ripple as he washed the dishes.

"Am I distracting you?" Damon asked, with a smirk.

"Yes," Ziva said, looking back at her paperwork. She began to fill it in and also type up a copy. She eventually saved the copy and emailed it to Director Shepard and Gibbs as well as McGee. After sliding the paper copy back into her bag, she joined Damon in the living room. He was watching a muted TV show.

"You can watch TV with the volume on, you know, Damon," Ziva teased.

"I didn't want to distract you."

"I am done now," Ziva responded and moved to her piano. Sitting down she began to play.

"I didn't know you played, Ziva."

"Do you play Damon?" Ziva asked, fingers still flowing over the keys.

"No, but my mom used to." Damon recognized Moonlight Sonata. His mother had never been able to get the hang of that piece. He noticed that Ziva didn't use music. He didn't want to interrupt so he stayed quiet and started thinking.

The past two days without Ziva had been less than fun. The first day he'd gone to Nate's Place and gotten his job but he still had too many hours to kill. Ziva had called, to let him know she wouldn't be home. So he cleaned the apartment. After cleaning the apartment and raiding Ziva's fridge, he had watched TV. He wondered if he'd ever get off the couch. He was willing to wait as long as he had to to be intimate with Ziva but the couch was a killer to sleep on. It was amazingly comfortable to sit on but not to sleep on. He'd woken up with knots. He'd worked a triple shift, glad that the Corps had conditioned him to stay on his feet, get up early and get the job done. Coming back on the empty apartment had been awful. He didn't know how he'd managed to live alone for those few weeks since his case closing and then being here with Ziva. He wasn't sure why Ziva wanted him anyway. He was a washed up, career-over Marine. He had no work experience as he and Ziva had joked about a few days ago. He had nowhere to go. His family didn't want him around. What on earth could Ziva see in him? Why did she think he was worth saving? He didn't realize when Ziva had stopped playing and she sat down in a black leather recliner.

"Damon!" Ziva snapped, getting his attention.

"Sorry, what Ziva?"

"You sat in my chair!"

Damon began to laugh, her phrasing reminding him of 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears.'

"What is so funny, Damon?" Ziva said, angrily.

"Sorry, you reminded me of a kids book. And yes I sat in your chair."

"Do not sit in my chair, please," she said, her eyes narrowed.

"Oops. Am I in trouble?"

"No. Just do not sit in my chair again. We can get a chair for you when we get our new place but this chair is mine."

"Duly noted."

Damon looked at Ziva's chair. He realized then that the chair was molded to her curves. No wonder she didn't want him to sit in her chair.

The next morning they both went to look at the apartment. The place was light, airy and open. There were two bedrooms, dining room, a kitchen with a breakfast bar, a bathroom, a living room and a study.

"Do you think that we can afford this?" Damon asked.

"Yes we can," Ziva said.

"Then let's do it."

The landlord smiled and got Damon and Ziva the papers. They each signed the papers and the lease. Ziva put down the deposit and the rent for the month. "So we can begin moving as soon as possible, yes?" Ziva asked.

"Yes, you can," the landlord said.

"Thank you," Damon said.

Both of them left and Damon reached for Ziva's hand and held it. She smiled up at him.

"I'm glad we have a place now, Ziva."

"Me too. You did clean out your motel, yes?"

"Yeah. I can't wait for my first paycheck though. I don't really have a lot of civilian clothes. Mostly just my camo, my dress uniforms and my work out clothes."

"If you need some clothes I can help you out with that."

"I couldn't take your money Ziva."

"You need clothes for work, Damon. Let me help you."

"Okay," Damon said, still marveling that the fact that this woman not only wanted him in her life but wanted to help him too.

"So what do you need for work?" Ziva asked.

"Solid color polo's, khakis or black pants."

"So I know where to go then," Ziva said, driving off to the mall.

After finding work clothes for Damon, they returned to their old apartment. They ate in silence but it was a comfortable silence punctuated by smiles and glances. They cleaned up together, Ziva glad that she had e-mailed in her paperwork to Director Shepard and McGee.


	9. Searching

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

A few months later, Ziva stormed into the apartment she now shared with Damon.

"What's the matter babe? Rough day at work?"

"I have to go to L.A. With Tony. As part of the Director's protection detail. We are attending a funeral of one of Jenny's colleagues."

Damon rubbed Ziva's back sympathetically. "It's going to be okay babe. It's a few days."

"But I will miss you," Ziva said, turning in Damon's arms and leaning up for a kiss.

"I'll miss you too Ziva but you'll be back soon. Here," he handed her a bag that she was going to take with her on the trip.

Ziva pulled clothes out of her dresser and closet and placed them in her bag. "I do not want to go, Damon."

"I know you don't. But you haven't really hung out with your team in a while, maybe it will be good for you. And I'll be right here when you get back."

"Mmm, you'd better be here when I get back."

Damon put her bag on the floor, pulled her into his arms and took her to bed. Afterwards, he dialed the number for Chinese take-out.

"I think this was the perfect way to spend the night together," Ziva said as she lay in his arms and they waited for the delivery guy.

"I do too." Damon got up to go answer the door.

They ate and then went to sleep. Ziva got up early for a run with Damon. They showered together and then Damon left for work. Ziva finished packing and went to the airport.

On the airplane, Ziva was bored. She had packed a book but it wasn't holding her attention. She couldn't stop thinking about Damon. Last night had been her first time with him. They hadn't planned it that way. She knew Damon was waiting for her, willing to wait until she was ready. She also knew that this relationship was different from any that she had had before. She had slept with men for intelligence, to sell a cover as she had done a month ago, and just because someone was cute. But all that ever was was sex. With her and Damon there was so much more. They talked, they shared meals, they became a sort-of family. And while Ziva wasn't ready to admit it out loud yet, she loved him.

"Ziva?"

She looked up from the book she wasn't reading, "Yes Tony."

"You've been seeing someone, haven't you?"

"And what if I have?"

"When do we get to meet him?"

"You already have Tony. You do not like him."

"When did I meet him?"

"Almost a year ago."

Tony wrinkled his brow in thought. "Did we all get drinks? I don't remember you bringing someone to get drinks."

"No, Tony. I did not bring him for drinks. Will you drop it?"

"I guess so," Tony said, knowing that Ziva wasn't going to tell him anything.

The funeral was fine, Ziva thought but Jenny going off grid was stupid. She and Tony had had McGee track her but even so, Jenny didn't want to be found.

Damon was upset. Ziva had left almost without a word. He wanted to put his head through a wall. He had really messed up. He wanted to wait until Ziva was ready. He wanted her to approach him. But they hadn't. Instead he'd carried her to bed. He'd ordered food afterwards, not wanting to leave her arms but she had still left without a word that morning. He loved her. He loved her and he hadn't said it and he'd screwed up. If he lost Ziva because of this he'd be torn apart. He'd tried calling her cell phone but she'd either ignored it or couldn't answer. "Ziva it's Damon. Call me, please?"

Ziva was convinced that something was wrong. She and Tony had found Sasha dead. Somehow this thing, whatever it was, was bigger than William Decker. Why kill his girlfriend if he was already dead? All Ziva could think of was lose ends. But why was his very much younger girlfriend a lose end? She rubbed her temples, sighing. Her phone buzzed. Damon again. She didn't want to talk to him with Tony in the car. She flipped open her phone and texted _In the car with Tony. Cannot talk right now. Will call tonight._

She got an almost immediate response: _Okay but you're okay? Flight was good?_

Ziva smiled, he was worried about her, _I am fine. Flight was fine._

Finally they ended up at the diner, too late. Leon Vance, assistant director, helped Tony and Ziva begin the case. They catalogued shooters, bullets, forensic evidence, and bodies and were getting an imprint of a tire when Gibbs showed up. Gibbs and Vance discussed case particulars and Ziva tried to draw Tony out of his own head. She was unsuccessful and eventually reverted to silence. Pulling out her phone she texted Damon _Longer in LA. Got a case. Be home as soon as I can._

_Doesn't LA have it's own NCIS team?_

_Yes but this is our case. I will explain later. _

Eventually they were all allowed to go back to DC, knowing that Mike Franks had helped Jenny. A lot of holes were in the evidence but at least they knew that Jenny had not died all alone. And then Gibbs and Franks had gone off the radar. Ziva supposed it was to tie up the loose ends. It had been a long week. All Ziva wanted to do was go home to Damon and then sleep for a few days. She knew she'd be distant with Damon for a while but she also knew he'd understand. She couldn't wait to be in his arms and confess her love. She'd be safe, comforted, and supported. She realized Tony was missing so she went searching for him. She found him in autopsy, drinking.

"Surprised it took you so long," Tony said, snapping on a light and starling her. "Thank god for Ducky," he said, indicating the bottle and glass.

As he drained his glass, Ziva took a steadying breath, "You have not listened to anything I have said."

"Well it's only been three years, I'm a slow learner."

"And a slow healer," Ziva said as she leaned against the desk. Tony had set the bottle down and was twirling his glass between his fingers. "You are crying over spilled…" Ziva paused, for once not searching for the correct way to finish the idiom but instead a way to soften the blow. Even as a federal agent, Tony wasn't as used to losing co-workers as she was. "… Milk," she finished, feeling rather stupid.

Tony looked thoughtful for a second, "It's not milk that I spilled."

"Do not do this, Tony," Ziva cautioned, she knew what happened when you blamed yourself for someone's death. And she knew Tony would continue to blame himself no matter what she said.

"Don't do what? Blow my protection detail? Blow my under cover assignment?" Tony questioned, not raising his voice at all as Ziva had assumed he would.

"Those sound like apologies," Ziva said, hoping to bring Tony out of his own misery.

Tony drained his glass, set it down and then pulled out a second glass. He gestured with the bottle to Ziva. She smiled slightly and poured a bit into her glass.

"She died alone," said Tony after pouring himself another glass.

"We are all alone," Ziva said, thinking that even if you had someone you never knew for how long.

"Yeah. Thanks for that," Tony said, tiredly, barely even any of his sarcasm in his voice. "I just mean that she never got married, never had any children. I never even heard her talk about it."

Ziva sighed and Tony looked up at her and said, "Paris. That's when it musta happened."

"The two of them alone. In another world."

"Putting their lives in each others hands every day."

"Not to mention the long nights," Ziva said, thinking of Damon now.

"It was inevitable," Tony said.

Ziva stopped thinking of Damon and turned to face Tony. She raised her eyebrow at him remembering the time they were under cover. How close they had come to actually having sex. He was attractive and she knew it. And her hormones had always made her curious. She met his gaze dead on, "Nothing is inevitable." If it had been inevitable, she and Tony would have had sex. And knowing Tony the way she did now, that probably wouldn't have been the end of their relationship. Instead, she and Tony had never had sex and she was in love with Damon.

Tony stared right back at her. "And they were apologies, Ziva. But they're apologies that don't matter. Jeanne's gone and I'll never get her back. And now Jenny's dead. I blew it, Ziva."

"Hey! You did not blow it. If Jeanne had been strong enough to still believe you cared for her, had she believed your love then Tony DiNardo or Anthony DiNozzo would not have mattered to her. She would have stayed, because she loved you more than anything. And Jenny made her own choices. She knew we would back her all she had to do was ask. She chose to give us the day off. She chose to call Mike Franks as her back-up instead. She chose to not tell anyone, not even Gibbs, where she was going or why. None if this was your fault."

"If it's not my fault then how come I feel so lousy?"

"Because you care Tony. You always care."

"Thanks Ziva."

"You are welcome, now, let's wash Ducky's glasses and go back upstairs."

Tony washed up the glasses, "I don't like this Vance guy."

"Nor do I Tony but he is the assistant director."

The instant they got back upstairs, Vance called out, "You two, with me."

Tony rolled his eyes internally. They'd gone to the annex but the file was missing. The security guard had done Mike Franks a favor. Tony groaned quietly and wondered what on earth was going to happen now.


	10. Lost

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Vance turned to Ziva and Tony. "You two know Mike Franks was involved in this?"

"Yes," said Ziva.

"No," said Tony.

"You want to take a minute and get your story straight?" Vance asked.

"No," said Ziva.

"Yes," said Tony.

"That explains how Director Shepard got out to the diner. Mike Franks was the fifth shooter."

"On Jenny's side," Tony input.

"Whose side are you on?" Vance asked, glowering at the two agents.

"Gibbs," said Tony and Ziva simultaneously.

"Well it looks like you finally got your story straight."

They finally solved the case, tied up loose ends and then ended the case. Paperwork, everything, done before Jenny's funeral. None of them had gone home since Tony and Ziva arrived back from LA. They all clustered around each other, knowing that it would be easier to buy new clothes for Jenny's funeral than to actually go home at this point. Ziva missed Damon but she needed to be near her team. They all went out for drinks.

Abby cried almost the whole night, drinking beer after beer and clinging to McGee. McGee was trying to be stoic but everyone could see how much holding in his emotions was costing him. Tony ordered bourbon and wouldn't say a word, snapping at Ziva each time she tried to draw him out. McGee finally ordered a few beers. Ziva didn't want to drink to forget. She wanted to keep a clear head. She had figured out, before the announcement, that Vance would be taking Jenny's place. She didn't know if he'd allow her to stay so she grabbed a napkin and began making a list of things to do in the morning. She'd need to close out her bank accounts and open a new one with enough money so that Damon could have gas, water, lights, cable, and internet. She'd already made arrangements to pay the rent for a year. She'd done that as soon as Jenny died. Most of her clothes would be donated to charity. She knew that if she was sent back home that she would get by with her uniforms. She knew that none of her furniture could be taken with her, including her piano. She was hoping Damon would take care of her piano. She would only take her work out clothes with her. If she used her backpack instead of a purse, she could avoid baggage claim all together. She drank her ginger ale and thought about what going home would mean. Thank god for small things. Eli still believed Gibbs' report. But she had no doubt that her time away would mean that Eli would assign her a challenging operation, as payback.

"Ziva?" McGee said, touching her shoulder.

"Yes Tim?" she asked, covering his hand with her own.

"Abby and I are going to go. We'll see you tomorrow. We'll be in the lab if anyone needs us."

Ziva squeezed Tim's hand reassuringly, "Good night Tim." Abby stepped forward and Ziva held out her arms to the gothic scientist. Abby hugged Ziva tight and for much longer than the Israeli usually permitted the embrace. "Good night Abby," she said finally, pulling back.

"Night Ziva."

After watching Tim walk away with Abby, Ziva took Tony's hand. "Come on Tony. Back to the squad room."

Tony clung to Ziva's hand as if it was a life line, "Ziva? Do you… do you think we could rent a motel instead?" Tony asked, his face and voice hopeful.

"No Tony. And sex will not help you now anyway."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that Miss David but okay. Back to the bull pen."

Back in the familiar orange squad room, they relaxed into their chairs. Ziva wanted to be with Damon but she knew her responsibilities lie here at the moment. She also knew she was running out of time. She was sure, with that churning feeling in her gut, that Vance would send her home. Funnily enough she no longer thought of Israel as home and was surprised to remember that she could be sent back.

In the morning, Ziva awoke early and showered and dressed for Jenny's funeral. By the time she was done with that, the banks were open. She finished that part of her to do list, at least knowing that Damon would be secure. Then Ziva did something that she knew was stupid and that she'd regret. She called Damon's work and told the manager that she wouldn't be home that night and that Damon should work the bar. The manager put him on the schedule until 0400 and told Ziva to have a nice day. Ziva told the manager not to tell Damon that she had called, just that he needed extra help and made up some lie about planning something special for Damon. One that was done, she woke Tony and told him to shower and get dressed. Soon they were all ready and heading to Jenny's funeral.

As soon as Ziva saw the press release, no matter how distasteful Ducky thought the matter of the cover up of Jenny's death was, she knew that Vance was Director now. She also knew, from the look that she had seen earlier that this was the beginning of the end. She tried to stop her heart from pounding although she knew she looked calm enough on the outside. And sure enough as if Vance had read Ziva's thoughts Gibbs and the team were summoned up to Vance's office.

"Bad few days," Vance said, as if he were their buddy. Ziva kept her eyes on the floor knowing this meant trouble. Her "Mossad Ninja Senses" as Tony called them, were on high alert.

"Officer David your liaison position with NCIS is being terminated. You're goin' home."

Ziva, stunned, looked at Vance. She had known this was coming but it still shocked her and hurt her. It was if, after everything she'd done for Gibbs and NCIS, she was being spanked by an angry father. She gave an almost invisible nod, and returned her eyes to the floor. She knew that nothing she could say would change Vance's mind and the rage and betrayal she was feeling had no place being voiced. Ziva felt lost. Tim looked scared. Gibbs looked like he wanted to head slap the director and say something like, "oh hell no," but then again he was the only one who knew what Ziva was going back to, particularly if Eli learned the truth. And Tony, for some odd reason, looked guilty.

Vance continued on as if he wasn't destroying lives, "McGee. I'm moving you across to the Cyber Crimes Unit. You'll be working with Officer Holesworth starting tomorrow." McGee looked as though he'd been slapped. Ziva understood why. Most of the teams sent numbers to be traced, e-mails, computer records, anything technological that they'd found in their investigations to cyber crimes. That meant McGee would be out of the field. And while he was only a junior agent, Ziva knew he would shape up to be a good senior field agent some day. But in order for him to do that, he'd have to be in the field. Why was Vance pulling Gibbs' team apart? Ziva could understand if it was only her, after all, she wasn't a true American citizen. She was only here because Jenny had allowed her to be. Gibbs looked majorly pissed now, Ziva could see.

"DiNozzo," Vance said.

"Sir," Tony replied. Ziva knew he was falling back on his military school training so he didn't punch Vance.

"You've been reassigned. Agent Afloat USS Ronald Regan. Pack your bags, you fly out tomorrow," Vance said. Tony looked upset but quickly hid it under a mask of indifference. Ziva knew that to Tony this would feel like a slap in the face. Maybe if Vance had made him a team leader instead but she knew Tony would prefer senior field agent under Leroy Jethro Gibbs than any other assignment. But Agent Afloat would seem like a punishment. Just like Cyber Crimes for McGee and Israel for her. Without a team, how would Gibbs function? Surely he wouldn't be fired. His team had the highest solve rate of any team. But that meant Vance would assign Gibbs a new team. Hopefully Vance knew what he would be signing unsuspecting people up for. When they were on a case they often didn't go home, ate take out, and stared at computer screens for hours. If these people were expecting a nine to five job they were in for a big surprise.

"Agent Gibbs meet your new team," Vance said, handing Gibbs three file folders. Gibbs gave the folders a cursory glance and then glared at Vance.

"All of you except Agent Gibbs need to clean out your desks. You can do that now and then go home. Gibbs, you can just go home if you want," Vance said, dismissing them all. They walked out the door and down the stairs as a unit before Tony broke off. Gibbs did too.

"I need coffee," Gibbs said, walking out. To anyone else, it would have looked like Gibbs was on his usual coffee run but his team knew that he'd rather leave than deal with the goodbyes.

No one spoke. Tony came back into the bull pen carrying three boxes. He handed one to McGee and one to Ziva before going over to his own desk. They silently packed their boxes, Ziva finishing first. She did not have that many personal possessions in her desk. She sat down, however, box on her desk, and waited for Tony and McGee to finish. While she waited she unpacked her backpack of everything that she would have needed at a crime scene. She was taking the backpack. If Gibbs wanted her to give it back he'd have to call her and ask for it. McGee was done next and finally Tony. All three sat down, just looking at each other from their desks one more time. Tony got up, leading the way to the elevator. They all got in and Tony pushed the button for the parking garage.

"Um… Who's going to tell Abby?" McGee asked.

"You are Tim. You're the only one who gets to stay," Tony said bitterly.

Tony walked to his car and Ziva to hers, McGee walked over to her.

"So Ziva I guess…" McGee said.

Ziva covered his mouth with her hand, "Do not say it, Tim. Just don't," she said, before getting into her car and driving off.


	11. Found Again

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Ziva got to her apartment and packed up the few things she was taking with her. She put the rest of her clothes into a garbage bag and then drove to the Goodwill, dropping them off. She had left one T-shirt that she had washed with her shower gel; blow dried, and then put a bit of her lotion on it and sprayed it with her perfume. She left it on Damon's pillow. She also left him the keys to her car with papers drawn up by Michelle Lee from legal so that he could legally have the car. She knew Tony called a Mini Cooper a "chick car" but she knew that Damon would be grateful for the transportation. At least she hoped he would be. She knew it was wrong, leaving like this but she knew she couldn't handle another goodbye, not now, and not Damon. She left him a letter that explained everything, including how she felt about him. She knew it wasn't exactly how you tell someone you love them but she knew that if she told Damon, 'I love you' and had to say goodbye that she never would end up leaving until immigration kicked her out of the country. She did not want to risk that happening. So she put her letter down next to the key bowl and then got into her cab. Before she knew it, she was in the air almost ready to land. She hoped that some day Damon would forgive her for not telling him she was leaving. She also hoped he wouldn't come after her. She had no idea what Eli would do if Damon showed up. She took a deep breath and prepared for landing.

Damon Werth finally got off of work and hurried towards home. He had cursed out the manager and been pissed off all evening. Tonight Ziva would be home. As he walked into the apartment, he noticed something was wrong. The lights weren't on, the TV, stove, and oven were cold. Walking into the bedroom he noticed Ziva's shirt on his pillow. He moved it to the laundry basket. But then noticed that Ziva's laundry basket was empty. So was her closet, as he found when he yanked open the door. And her dresser was also empty. He called her cell phone, but it was disconnected. "Ziva!" he called, his voice echoing in the apartment. Then he noticed an envelope by the key bowl. He grabbed it and opened it.

"_Damon, This is the hardest letter I have ever had to write. By now you've come home and I am nowhere. Clothes gone; bathroom stuff missing. I know this is hard for you. It's hard for me too. I'm not coming back. Vance has been named the new NCIS director. My position was eliminated. So I must go back to Israel. I do not want to go. My life is here now. I want to stay with you. Only you Damon. You have made America home for me. I love you Damon. I know I should have said it before I left, sent you a text, something, anything other than like this. Do not come after me Damon. I'm warning you. It's too dangerous. I know you love me too, I can see it in your eyes. Do not worry about the apartment or the bills, it has all been taken care of. Vance disbanded Gibbs' team, not just me. Tony was sent to the USS Ronald Regan, as Agent Afloat. McGee was moved to the cyber crimes unit. And Gibbs was given a new team. Abby does not yet know. McGee will tell her in the morning. I do not envy him that job. I view this next assignment as exile. I do not know what I have done to deserve exile or to be ripped from the man I love. However, I will continue to stay safe and try to do my job. I love you, Damon, I always will. And I'm sorry for all of this. I'm sorry for the pain I've caused you. Take care of my heart, I've left it with you. All my love now and forever, your Ziva." _

Damon read the letter and cursed, crumbling the letter up and then smoothing it out again before reading it a second time, and then a third. He wanted to beat the crap out of something or someone, anyone would do. But more he wanted answers. Answers to all the questions that were spinning around in his head. After a few more minutes he picked up the phone and dialed McGee.

"McGee," said a very sleepy McGee.

"Hey McGee. Sorry to wake you."

"Do I know you?" McGee asked, confused.

"I'm Corporal Damon Werth. I've been dating Ziva."

"She finally found you?"

"Yeah, she did. We've been living together for months now."

"Well congratulations. Wait why are you calling me?"

"Ziva disappeared without a trace. She left me a letter. She wrote me something about going to Israel?"

Damon heard shifting around and then a more awake sounding McGee, "Vance disbanded the team. Ugh. I just remembered I have to report to the cyber crimes unit today. This sucks. Ziva got sent back to Israel. Tony got sent out as an Agent Afloat with the…"

"… USS Ronald Regan," Damon finished, "Ziva wrote about that too."

"So why are you calling me?"

"I need you to do something for me. Hack into her system on however it works and get me her e-mail address. She didn't leave me anything McGee. Not an address, a phone number, an e-mail or an instant messenger."

"I'll get it for you Corporal."

"Please, call me Damon."

"Right. Damon. I'll get that for you."

"Thanks McGee."

"Don't mention it Damon."

After hanging up the phone Damon tried to go to bed. He tried not to think. He tried to sleep, but even with Ziva's shirt held close to him, he couldn't drift off. He groaned, got out of bed and paced around the apartment.

"Why didn't you tell me, Ziva?" Damon asked, aloud, knowing it was futile to do so but needing to do so. "Why didn't you tell me what was going on? Why didn't you tell me about being shipped back to Israel? We could have worked something out. I love you damn it!" Damon pulled a small box out of his pocket. He opened it, seeing a sapphire flanked by two emeralds. It was the perfect ring for Ziva. "I was going to ask you to marry me, Ziva. But you up and left. Why? You knew I love you. Damn it all to hell, Ziva!" Damon put the ring back into the box and threw it into a drawer. He missed Ziva already. He also knew he could count on McGee to get him Ziva's e-mail. McGee, according to Ziva, could hack nearly anything. Finally he sank down on the couch, crying. He eventually fell asleep, his dreams haunted by the Israeli woman.

Ziva landed, grabbed her bags and took a cab straight to Mossad. She flashed her credentials and was allowed inside. She went to see Michael Rivkin. He smiled at her and silently got up and brought her to the uniform room. They grabbed everything she would need and then he escorted her to a guest apartment on the compound.  
>"Is this all right, Ziva?"<p>

"This is fine, Michael," she replied, kissing his cheek and stepping inside. She knew that nowhere except Damon's arms would feel like home but here she had a living room, bedroom, kitchen and bathroom. That would be all that she would need. Collecting her clothes from Michael, she told him good bye and busied herself with unpacking. After unpacking and showering Ziva let herself sink down on the bed and sob. It was a firm bed, which Ziva liked, but unfamiliar and it smelled all wrong. She held one of Damon's t-shirts in her arms, hoping that she could smell his scent, be comforted and sleep. However rest did not come until she lay down and sobbed her heart out. Finally, exhausted from so much crying since she wasn't a crier usually, she slept. When she woke up, she took a few Tylenol trying to ease the pain in her head. She knew it wouldn't dull the pain in her heart but she was hoping that it would make the headache from her crying jag go away. She re-made the bed and then signed out one of the cars in the Mossad motor pool, dismissing the driver. She went grocery shopping hoping that it would distract her. She knew she would never find home again until she was with Damon again, although she didn't see how that was possible. But if she could find her place in Mossad, work anti-terrorist operations, find the Ziva that she had buried below the surface during her time at NCIS, if she could make Damon proud of her then she could go on and try to make a life for herself. She found herself standing aimlessly in the middle of the aisle of meat coolers. She snatched up a few packages and then continued to shop muttering Hebrew curses under her breath. Vance was very lucky that Ziva, like Abby, did not believe in voodoo or else he would be in a world of pain right now, Ziva thought, clenching her teeth. No, she was not happy to be back in Israel. Not happy at all. And if her father ever learned the truth about Ari's death, she knew she would die.

Back in her apartment, groceries safely put away, a knock on the door surprised her.

"Ziva, Director David wants to see you in his office, now," Michael said when Ziva answered the door.

"What if I do not want to see him Michael?"

"I'm afraid that is not an option. He has a mission for you."

Ziva allowed herself to be led to her father's office. Even a new mission would not make a difference.


	12. A New Case

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

"Ah, Ziva. I have an assignment for you."

"Yes Abba?" Ziva asked, careful with her tone so her father would not detect her sadness.

"Chechnya. There is a terrorist group there. I need you to uncover what is happening. Michael Rivkin will be your partner. Go now. Figure it out."

"Yes Abba," Ziva said, turning on her heel to leave after taking the file he held and giving her father a kiss.

For weeks Ziva poured over the intelligence that she had been given. Calling in favors from her contacts, hunting down leads, making a mess of her living room. And then she finally caught a break. Petty Officer Steven Nickolas Vargo. He worked in strategic planning at NCIS with top security clearance.

"I need to call Gibbs," Ziva muttered, looking at all of her documents and evidence. "This is deeper than just a Petty Officer but NCIS needed to be warned."

Michael came in with take out. "Do you still miss NCIS, my Ziva?"

"Do you not knock, Michael? And I am not your Ziva."

"Here. I brought you food. You need to eat."

Ziva gratefully took the box and dug into the lamb meat, cucumber sauce, tomato and onion that Michael had brought her.

"I need to call Gibbs," Ziva said again.

"You leave Gibbs to me, Ziva. I will make sure he gets the tip."

Ziva stared at Michael for a few minutes. "What? Do you not trust me Ziva?"

Ziva sighed internally. She had to trust Michael. There was no one else to trust. "Yes, I trust you."

"Good. Eat."

"Petty Officer Brian Duane Roberts," Ziva said, hoping to bounce ideas off of Michael.

"He served with Vargo. So what?"

"He has been selling intelligence to Chechnya. To Milana Sheshani."

"This is not good. Does the Director know?" Michael asked, sitting up straighter.

"Not yet. I do not know yet how to earn Roberts trust."

"It sounds like we will be going under cover."

"Yes, I believe we will."

After laying more ground work, Ziva and Michael went to see Eli.

"Abba, I believe we have our target. Chechnya's Milana Sheshani has ended Robert's usefulness. She has another source. As such she and Roberts both are targets. They are loose ends. They plan to be in Morocco in two weeks. Get Michael and I there and we will bring them back to you."

"Go then." The director had said, building Ziva a cover as a lounge singer. She ended up with some pretty racy outfits that she wasn't proud of and had put in a call to Vance. Her confirmed her Roberts theory.

"I want back, Vance."

"Finish your mission and we'll talk."

"Gibbs' team."

"I know David. Do the mission. Then we'll see what we can do about team Gibbs."

"Thank you Director."

Her computer dinged. She smiled and went over to it, blocking Michael from her computer screen. McGee had hacked her e-mail her first day in Israel and then wrote her about it. The pair exchanged e-mails once a week now. And Ziva wrote Damon daily until a month ago. The latest e-mail was from Damon.

"_Ziva, where the hell are you? Are you okay? Hurt? Annoyed with me? I know you're not dead. I would feel it if you were. But what's going on? I love you Ziva. I'll never stop but if you don't answer me, I'll have to move on with my life. I can't stay here in our apartment pretending everything's fine and that you'll come walking through that door any second. I need some place that doesn't hurt so much, Ziva. I never told you this but the night you disappeared, I was planning on asking you to marry me. I would have married you that night if it meant keeping you here. Losing you wasn't good for me Ziva. I love you Ziva. I love you so much. All my love, Damon." _

Ziva's head spun. Damon had been going to propose? If she had only stayed a bit longer, she could have been his wife by now. She glanced longingly down at her ring finger. Knowing Damon he'd have picked something amazing out at the jewelers to ask her to be his wife with. She groaned and began typing a reply that she'd never send. She knew he needed to be free to move on. What if she died? What if Vance didn't let her come back? No, Damon needed a clean break.

"_My dearest Damon, I've gotten your letters, all of them. I read them all and they bring such comfort to me. Especially now when I am troubled. I am fine, physically. But my heart aches to be near you. I love you Damon. I'll never stop. I had no idea you were planning to propose to me. I would have said yes, married you instantly. Why didn't you tell me? Why did we wait so long to tell each other we were in love? Why couldn't I have stayed in America? I do not know. All I ask is, if you do move, give Jimmy Palmer my piano. He has always wanted one but never had the money for it. I love you Damon. All my love, your Ziva." _

Ziva was merely planning on saving the message, just like she had with all the others but she accidentally clicked on send. Cursing herself Ziva called McGee.

"McGee," A sleepy McGee answered his cell phone.

"Tim, I'm sorry I woke you."

"Ziva? Ziva, are you okay?"

"I am fine Tim," she said, touched by his thoughtfulness. "I need a favor."

"Anything."

"Can you hack into Damon's e-mail and remove the message from me? I did not mean to send it."

McGee shuffled around and then Ziva heard clicking noises in the background.

"Sorry Ziva, he already opened it. If I yank it now, he'll know it was me."

Ziva swore.

"Are you okay? You haven't e-mailed me in a week."

"I am fine McGee. Do me one more favor?"

"What do you need?"

"Tell Gibbs that an anonymous source says there's trouble bubbling."

"It's brewing, trouble brewing."

"Whatever. Just tell him."

"I will. And Ziva?"

"Yes McGee?"

"Be safe."

"Shalom Tim."

With Gibbs warned, Ziva could relax. Her cell phone buzzed, a text.

"_The director wants to see you"_

Ziva looked at the number, Jacob Aaron. _"Just me?" _

"_Just you. Says he wants his daughter." _

"_I will be there." _

Ziva got up, stretched, lied to Michael about needing air and went to her father's office.

"Abba?" she asked, knocking softly.

"Ziva, come in and close the door. You have a new mission once this one is over. I have intelligence that thinks that Michael is running a Hamas terrorist group. I want you to confirm or deny. So does Leon Vance. Can you do it?"

Ziva took a deep breath, "Yes, I can."

"Good girl. And good luck."

"Thank you Abba," Ziva said, turning to walk out of his office.

"Wait, Ziva, a kiss for your father?"

Ziva came back and kissed her father's cheek.

The next thing Ziva knew she and Michael were in Morocco. Everyone seemed to like her singing, or her outfits. Her tip jar was overflowing each night. The last night of the operation Roberts and Milana walked in and sat down. Ziva sang, dancing a bit with Michael before taunting Roberts and tempting him with her sexuality. She noticed Milana get up and tracked Michael with her eyes. He was on it. Roberts got up but didn't move. And the Ziva noticed the bomb. She paused in her music and the bomb exploded.

She awoke in the hospital having issues with her memory but was discharged after a day. She was sore and had six stitches over her right eyebrow but she was fine. In her father's office, discussing the mission there had been a buzz from her father's secretary.

"An Agent Gibbs wants to speak with Ziva."

Eli nodded and hit speakerphone.

"Ziva?"

"Gibbs."

"You okay?" he asked, worried.

"You heard," she answered, her voice flat.

"Yeah. Raw feed outta ZNN. You might wanna call 'em."

Ziva smiled and said, "Thanks for the tip."

"What can you tell me?"

"Not much. I was under cover trying to gain the trust of a man showing an unhealthy interest in a Chechnyan terrorist group."

"Brian Roberts?" Gibbs asked.

Ziva looked puzzled. How did he know? She knew that Michael had not called him and that Vance would not have told him because he would not have wanted to blow up Mossad's operation. "Perhaps you should tell me what you know."

"Old Navy friend of Roberts was found murdered this morning. Steve Vargo. Worked strategic planning. Top Secret clearance. Who was the target?" Gibbs said.

Ziva took a breath although Gibbs could not see her she knew this was news he wouldn't like. "Roberts was meeting a terrorist by the name of Milana Sheshani. By sheer luck she escaped the blast but Mossad does not believe she was the target. Roberts was."

"Why?"

"We can only speculate but from what you've told me it appears that someone wanted them both dead."

"Cleaning house?"

"Possibly."

"Who tipped you off about Roberts?" Gibbs asked.

Ziva was slightly hurt. Didn't Gibbs think she was capable of finding intelligence? She waited for her father's nod. "Director Vance." Ziva knew the older man was probably wearing his 'oh hell no' expression. "Gibbs?" she asked.

"We miss you Ziva."

Ziva crossed the space and snatched up the phone, "I miss you too. All of you. Even, ah, Tony," she said smiling.

"Gotta go."

Ziva wanted to yell at him to wait, ask him to find Damon and tell him she was coming home. Ask him if there was still a place for her on his team. Instead she said, "Um, take care, Gibbs."

"Yeah you take care too." He hung up. Ziva placed the phone down wanting nothing more than to get back to her rooms and start packing. Her old mission was over and sadly, according to her intelligence, her new one would take place in America. She was hoping that Gibbs, McGee, Tony, Abby and Damon would forgive her when the mission ended. Eventually she was dismissed and went back to her rooms to pack. She could not wait to be back in DC.


	13. Home Again

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Ziva packed, humming happily. She could not wait to get back to DC. Already she was hoping that Damon would be home, that he would forgive her for the past three months. She wanted to know what else Vance had found out. The case interested Ziva. There had to be a mole in NCIS somewhere. She knew that Gibbs and McGee would stop at nothing to find who was betraying their country. Once home, she would help too. She'd kept her case notes in a notebook with owls covering it. Tony had given her the notebook a week before the team had been split up. He'd found it in the LA airport. He knew Ziva loved owls so he grabbed it and gave it to her on the plane. She tucked the notebook into a pair of jeans she had gotten before going to Morocco, as she heard a key clicking in the lock.

"Ziva?"

Ziva looked up from the bag she was packing, forcing her face into a smile, "Yes Michael?"

"You are leaving?" he said, looking sad.

"I am leaving. Director Vance wants me back. I am going home," Ziva said, feeling a real smile creep over her face.

"Your home is here, with your father and me, Ziva."

"No, my home is in DC now, Michael."

"As you wish," Michael said, "Can I help you with anything?"

"No, I am just going to get my showering things out of the bathroom. Then I will leave. Abba found me a red-eye to DC."

"A ride to the airport perhaps?" Michael said, as Ziva walked into the bathroom and began gathering her travel-size shower supplies.

"No, I am going with Jacob Aaron," Ziva said, coming back into the room and catching Michael going through her bag. "Get out of my bag, Michael."

Michael withdrew his hand, "Sorry Ziva," he said, caressing her cheek before kissing her cheek. "I will see you soon, my Ziva."

"Shalom, Michael," Ziva said, rifling through her bag, carefully until she touched the journal that she knew was the one that Tony had given her. She breathed an internal sigh of relief and pasted on a smile for Michael.

He left and Ziva zipped up her bag, anxious to meet Jacob and get to the airport. During the ride, Jacob didn't talk much. He knew that Ziva needed to think and she wasn't one for mindless chatter anyway.

"Jacob?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever had a mission you were not proud of?"

Jacob turned to look at Ziva, even with the traffic. "Yes. Sometimes. Why?"

"Nothing. I'm just afraid that this new mission will blow up in my face."

"You have a mission?"

"Classified," Ziva snapped and then apologized, "I am sorry Jacob, I did not mean to be harsh." She sighed, "I am just glad to be going back to DC. Could I use your phone, please Jacob?"

"Sure," he said, handing the cell phone over.

Ziva dialed McGee's number.

"McGee," groaned a sleepy McGee.

"Tim, it is Ziva. I am coming home."

"I thought you were already in Israel, Ziva?" McGee asked, trying to get his bearings Ziva could tell.

"No, I am leaving Israel, McGee. I am coming home. To DC. I was wondering if you could pick me up at the airport? And why are you sleeping? It's about 17:30 there, no?"

"Yeah it is. I finished the case for Vance. And he gave me back to Gibbs. Tracked down an AWOL Petty Officer. I didn't sleep much so boss man gave me a few days off, so I crashed. When's your flight get in?"

"04:00."

McGee groaned, "Fine. I'll be there."

"Thank you McGee."

"I'll see you soon."

Ziva hung up and then dialed a number her fingers had been itching to call for weeks. The phone rang and rang and rang and the answering machine kicked in, "Hello, you've reached 301-555-2489. Please leave a message and we'll call you back. Thank you and have a good day." Ziva cursed as she recognized her own message. It was odd that Damon hadn't changed it in the three months he'd been alone. She dialed Damon's cell phone. "The number you have reached had been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try again," the tinny annoying mechanically-voiced telephone lady said brightly. Ziva gripped the cell phone tighter and swore again, the anger in her tone making Jacob flinch. He knew what she was capable of.

"Is everything all right, Officer David?"

"I do not want to talk about it."

"Sorry."

He dropped Ziva off at Ben Gurion airport and she grabbed her bag hopping out of the car. "Thank you, Jacob."

"You are welcome Ziva. Have a safe trip. Remember to call Officer Bashan, yes?"

"I will. You take care Officer Aaron."

"Good bye Ziva."

"Shalom."

Ziva got through airport security and fidgeted. She paced, swearing internally in Hebrew. She couldn't imagine having to sit for the whole flight. She wanted to know what was the matter with Damon. She'd set it up so he wouldn't have to worry about anything for a year and hopefully then she'd get home to him. She ran her fingers through her hair and flipped open the burn phone she'd gotten in the airport. She programmed McGee's number into it and then texted him. _"Will you bring me a sandwich when you pick me up McGee please?" _

"_A sandwich?" _

"_I haven't eaten in about twelve hours McGee. Please." _

"_You want pop too?" _

"_Please." _

"_Okay. Sandwich and pop. See you soon Ziva." _

On the plane, Ziva was restless and the flight attendants kept staring at her. That didn't help her mood at all and she glared back at each of them. They all kept their heads down after that but she could still feel their eyes on her. Finally they landed. Ziva grabbed her bag and rushed off the plane. As soon as she got to the end of the terminals, there was McGee. He was holding a Subway bag and a large drink. Ziva smiled and jogged the last few steps to him, reaching out to hug him.

"I have missed you Tim."

McGee looked surprised at the hug and then hugged Ziva back slightly. "We missed you too Ziva. Abby's been going crazy. Gibbs will be glad to have you home too."

"McGee, have you heard from Damon?" she asked as McGee took her bag and handed her the sandwich. "What did you get me?"

"No, sorry Ziva. I haven't seen him since we went out for drinks about a month before you and Tony went to LA. He hasn't called me or e-mailed me. He's gone off-grid I think Ziva. Why? I got you a meatball sub. Pepper jack cheese, green peppers, tomatoes, olives and onion."

"I was trying to reach him, to tell him I was coming home. He did not pick up," Ziva said, taking a bite of her sandwich. "Oh my god this is good."

"Maybe he was at work?"

"It is possible. But he should be home now. Oh well, I guess I will surprise him."

"Is that really a good idea?" McGee asked, steering her to his car.

"Not surprise, surprise him, McGee. I'll sleep on the sofa. And in the morning, I will be there when he wakes up."

"Oh. So how was Israel?"

"Gibbs did not tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"I was working under cover. The nightclub I was singing at was blown up because a terrorist group wanted two people inside dead. One escaped."

"My god, Ziva, are you okay?" McGee asked, concerned.

"I am fine. I had a concussion and facial lacerations. Nothing too severe."

"Doesn't sound like nothing."

"Oh well. At least I am home now, yes?"

"Yeah you are. Welcome home Ziva."

"Thank you Tim."

They got to Ziva's apartment and Ziva was even more worried when her key slipped easily into the lock.

"Damon?" she called out, quietly. There were no other sounds in the apartment. This scared Ziva and she set down her bag. She knew she had told McGee that surprising Damon was the wrong thing to do but she couldn't shake the feeling in her gut that something was not right. In the bedroom she noticed that the bed was flat and the covers were not messed up. She flipped on the light, crouching into a defensive position just in case. The bed was stripped. No sheets on it or even pillows. There was a coating of dust on the dressers that Ziva knew Damon would never stand for if he had been living here. She went around the apartment, flipping on the lights and looking at bare rooms. Her piano was gone. Obviously Damon had given it to Jimmy. Well she'd talk to Jimmy in the morning. She was sure he'd give her back her piano. Annoyed and upset now, Ziva unpacked her few things and then grabbed some blankets and a pillow out of the linen closet. She made up a bed on the sofa and lay down, praying for sleep. However sleep was not so kind. Normally, if this was before Vance had disbanded the team, she'd go to Tony's. Often times just sleeping in his living room, hearing his white noise machine and his snores would lull her into sleep. However Tony was still at sea on the USS Ronald Regan. She was hesitant to go to McGee's after having him already do her a favor. She sat up and then packed a backpack of over night things. Her car was in her space, air in the tires, gas tank full. She smiled, Damon must have taken care of her car while she was gone. She got in and drove to Gibbs home.

She didn't bother knocking, just walked in and then headed down to the basement. However Gibbs wasn't down there and as she was coming up the stairs, she found herself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"Do not shoot me, Gibbs, it's only Ziva."

"Ziva. Jesus you scared me," Gibbs said, putting the gun down. "Why are you here?"

"I just got in tonight. Damon moved out Gibbs and I could not sleep. So I came here."

Gibbs nodded and brought Ziva some blankets. He'd built a set of bunk beds in his basement and put them against a wall out of the way. He'd also added a mattress to it. Ziva was used to making up the bed when she would stay.

"Welcome home, Ziva."

"Thank you Gibbs."

"Night."

"Sleep well Gibbs."


	14. Falling

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Damon Werth stared at the ceiling for the thousandth time since Ziva left. He'd moved out of their shared apartment a month ago. Jimmy Palmer had taken Ziva's upright piano. There had been too many memories in that apartment. He couldn't get up out of the bed they'd shared once, dress while seeing her empty closet and dresser since she'd kept all of her things in his room, and then cook and eat in the kitchen and dining room that they had shared. Same thing with the living room. It was easier to move than to deal with the memories every single day. He hadn't slept in months really. He was now renting a skuzzy studio apartment near by his work. He hated it from the moment he walked in the door but he knew that he would learn to deal with his place to crash.

A month ago he'd collapsed at work. Waking up in the hospital had been less than pleasurable. He'd seen Dr. Johnson and he'd told Damon that the years that he was injecting himself with steroids in the Corps that he was doing the "right thing the wrong way" to treat his anemia. Dr. Johnson had prescribed him some steroids, the legal kind, and told him to watch his diet. Damon had said thank you and left but he knew he wouldn't watch his diet. It was hard to care what kind of chow you were stuffing in your face when one day blended into the next, one week blended into the next. He felt lost, like he was trying to find a path to lead him home but he kept walking in circles. Without Ziva he was just drifting though life. Nothing was keeping him anchored any more. First it had been his parents but when they were no longer supportive, the Corps had become his support. His unit, Whitney, Stone and Heatherton became his family. And then when they'd been shipped home, there was Ziva. Ziva had done more for him than Dr. De La Casa or any shrinks and medicines had done. She'd given him a reason to get out of bed each day, something to look forward to.

Without Ziva he visited Nate Stone a lot. Nate had eventually found himself a girlfriend, Mel. Damon had met the peppy blonde and he couldn't help smiling a real smile at Mel's bubbly personality. She gushed over Nate and his accomplishments and had made Damon feel like a hero again. Mel's real name was Melissa but she preferred Mel so most people thought her name was Melanie. Seeing Nate and Mel made Damon smile and be happy for the couple but it also made him miss Ziva even more which made him even more miserable. He'd brought it up to Nate one night.

"I miss her man you know? I miss everything about her. Her hair, her eyes, the way she smelled, how she messed up her English, how she'd get so focused on a case that she couldn't sleep until it was solved. Her loud snoring. I've give up everything to have her back."

"I know you would man. You were gonna propose weren't you?"

"Yeah I was. I figured I'd give her time to think about it, not press. She could come to terms with it on her own time. But instead she packed her bags and left. She didn't even bother with a goddamned good bye."

"Maybe it was too hard for her to say good bye," Nate said.

"That's what she said in her letter."

"Does she know when she might come home?"

"She didn't say. She won't answer my e-mails."

"That's rough man, I'm sorry."

"I love her Nate."

"I know you do Damon."

And then there'd been Nick Heatherton. He had had issues readjusting to civilian life and while they all had, Heatherton's battle was particularly fierce. Nick's wife, Rachel, had called Damon in tears more than once demanding to know if the man she married "was still in there." Damon had tried to reassure her and explain that civilian life was hard for combat-ready Marines because they'd been taught to kill to survive and that being without a gun and a knife meant death. To go back to a place where not only do you not need the gun or the knife but you also don't get to carry them with you leaves you with a fight of flight response. And combat dreams would wake him up and he would scream. "It'll get better Rachel. Just hang in there. Nick loves you and he loves Hannah. Just hang on," Damon told her over and over. But in the end, a broken shell of a man and not the healed whole whom she had married was not something Rachel was strong enough to deal with. She couldn't deal with the therapists, the medicine, Nick's moods and unexplained lashing out bouts. Damon knew she wanted Nick to go back to "normal" but the problem was that "normal" didn't exist anymore for Nick. He would adjust, Damon knew, but he needed time and support and neither of those things were something that Rachel was capable of giving him.

After the divorce, Nick had come to DC. He'd gotten a job as a bouncer at one of the clubs and he'd gotten an apartment. He and Damon became drinking buddies. They'd take the bus home so as not to drive drunk but they'd often get wasted on their night's off. They were nice drunks, except the night where they'd both thought it was a good idea to walk home and belt out "From the Halls of Montezuma" the whole way. Back at his apartment, Damon was surprised to find himself crying. He wasn't sobbing or anything but there were tears. Nick had slung an arm around him.

"Tears ain't manly Corporal."

"I want Ziva Nick. I miss her so much! I love her!"

"Forget the girl man. She's obviously forgotten you. No e-mails, no calls, no letters, no contact."

"Don't be an ass Nick."

"I'm not. I'm just saying, it doesn't sound like she cares very much about you."  
>"Thanks for that."<p>

"Hey man, fuck you, I'm trying to get your head out of your ass so you can move on with your pathetic life."

"Did you just tell me 'fuck you'?" Damon said, mad now. Usually the PFC's understood that he was in charge and that disrespect was not an option. Damon shrugged off Nick's arm and Nick stumbled, falling into a wall. He started laughing as he sat down on the ground.

"Yup, I did. Fuck you Corporal. See? Said it again."

"What ever happened to respect Heatherton?"

"Respect died," said Heatherton, cracking up. "We've been discharged in case you didn't notice. We're messed up now. The Corps doesn't want us after we got our asses tortured and Nate lost a leg."

"C'mon man, get up. I think you need a cab."

"Hey! How come you're not as drunk as I am?"

"I know my limits Heatherton. C'mon, get up," Damon said, pulling at Nick's arm and almost getting the man up.

"No, the ground is comfortable," Nick argued, freeing his arm from Damon.

"Fine, come on up with me then. You can sleep on the couch."

When they made it up to Damon's apartment, Nick said, "Wow, this place is a shit hole."

"Thanks for that Heatherton. Stop being an ass."

Once Damon got Nick settled, Nick started crying. "I miss Rachel and Hannah, Corporal."

"I know you do man. I know."

"I love them both. Why wasn't that enough?"

"I don't know."

"Nate gets to be happy so does Whitney, he met a girl, Kristin, and hell if Ziva ever comes back, you'll get to be happy too. Why the fuck don't I get my happy ever after Corporal?"

"I don't know. And if it makes you feel any better, I'm not happy right now either."

"No shit. But if Ziva came back, I bet you'd let the past two months go."

"Ziva's not coming back man. I wanted to marry her and she packed her bags and left before I could even ask. She went home. And honestly, if home makes her happy, then I'm happy for her."

"That's a load of bullshit Corporal and you know it."

"Just shut up and go to sleep Heatherton."

And now, lying in his crappy bed Damon wondered if he was right. He'd had to tell himself that Ziva wasn't coming back or he would have gone crazy these past two months. What he'd told Heatherton a few weeks ago had been a load of bullshit. He didn't want Ziva in Israel, he wanted Ziva here in DC. He wanted Ziva to be happy with him. He punched the mattress, feeling the power from the punch vibrate through the mattress. But Ziva's life was much more in DC than in Israel. She'd said so herself one night without any prompting. They'd been cuddling on the couch and Ziva had nuzzled his neck and murmured, "DC feels like more of a home to me than Israel ever did. I feel safe here." He'd grinned at that and then promised her that he would keep her safe. Ultimately he'd failed. He couldn't protect her from the new NCIS director nor could he protect her in a strange country if he had no idea where to start looking. He glanced at the clock. 0700, early enough to get up without being called crazy and late enough that once he showered he could head to NCIS.

At NCIS he asked to see the director. It took him almost all day before he was finally shown in to Lean Vance's office.

"Corporal Werth. Do you have an issue with the way your case was handled?"

"No sir. But I did want to ask you what the hell gave you the right to ship my girlfriend back to Israel?"

"The sign on the door that says Director, Corporal. You mean Officer David?"

"Yeah Ziva. I love her and you sent her away sir."

"I'm sorry Corporal. But she's coming back."

"She is?"

"Her flight got in at 0400 this morning. I imagine she'll be back at work tomorrow. So, problem solved. Now, don't shout at me ever again or I will make sure you live to regret it. Do we understand each other?"

"Yes sir. Is Ziva…?"

"Officer David is fine Corporal. Now get out of my office."

"Yes sir. Thank you sir."

Damon walked out, glad that he had confronted Vance but even more glad that Ziva was home. Hopefully she'd forgive his missing her homecoming.


	15. Cloak

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Ziva woke up the next morning and panicked. She couldn't remember where she was until she was fully awake and recognized Gibbs basement. The previous night had come flooding back to her and she sat, arms wrapped around her middle to hold herself, remembering how she had sobbed her heart out last night. She'd stuffed a pillow into her mouth so Gibbs wouldn't hear her. Ziva rarely cried so crying like this made her feel ashamed. She remembered when Ari had died in this very basement. He was taunting Gibbs, saying things about how he would strike at the heart of Israel and Mossad, talking about killing innocent people. And Ziva, out of sight, heard it all and was shocked. Ari had been the one to kiss skinned knees and bandage them when Ziva fell. He'd sung her to sleep, listened to her hopes, her dreams, her fears. He'd taught her to tie her shoes, waited patiently for her shorter strides to catch up to his and could always make her laugh. That Ari was gone. This new Ari, this hateful bitter shell of the former Ari, she didn't know him. And that had been how she pulled the trigger. She didn't know this new Ari, she saw him as a threat to innocent people and she knew it had to end. And somehow her pulling the trigger did not seem as cold as Gibbs pulling the trigger. There was a reason she shot Ari through the head, minus the instant death devoid of suffering. She wanted his heart, his soul, something of the old Ari she had known and loved, to stay intact. And she hadn't cried much.

She had cried a bit when Gibbs had been blown up. Although she had sobbed in the hospital when she reminded Gibbs about Ari and Kate and she did not regret letting Gibbs see her tears. And when Jenny died she didn't cry much. When Vance split up the team and she made her plans, she had purposely not allowed herself to cry. She had not allowed crying while in Israel either except that first night. But last night, back home in DC she had full permission from herself to cry. So she cried for her brother and for her disillusionment with her father, she cried for Gibbs who had become a father to all of his "fatherless" team and she cried for herself, for being a pawn in her father's game and never realizing it until it was too late and she had to take aim and fire at Ari. She cried for losing Damon, Tali, Roy, Jenny, and Rivka her mother. She had cried until there were no more tears to cry. Until her head pounded with a headache, until she was exhausted, until she felt thirsty, until she fell asleep, tear tracks still on her cheeks.

She got up now, showered quickly and dressed. Gibbs had left a burrito for her on the kitchen counter. She heated it up and drove to work. At work they'd gotten a case. On the USS Ronald Regan. Tony was glad to see them all and when they closed the case, Tony had come back with them. Ziva was surprised by how much she had missed Tony.

Once Tony was back, cases blurred together and so did the days and weeks. Sometimes they were on cold cases, examining the angles, rarely getting a break through. And sometimes they were on hot cases the ones where they could put the dirtbags away. Ziva had not slept in her apartment since her arrival in DC. First it was just Gibbs who had shown her the empty dresser and closet in his "guest" room, the room that Ziva had known was Kelly's. Then Tony got a dresser for his guest room, cleaning up the guest room before telling Ziva that she could stay there. Then McGee, Abby, Ducky, and to Ziva's surprise Jimmy had all opened their homes to her. Ziva had put a few changes of clothes at each place and bounced around each night. She had heard the saying home is where the heart is and if it was true then Damon had her heart but she couldn't find him so home was unattainable. Her apartment was too painful to be in for long periods of time. Too many memories lurked there. She understood know why Gibbs only went upstairs to shower and change. Why would he want to put himself through the pain of sleeping where he and Shannon had slept? She had tried, and failed, to find Damon. She even put a call in to Joe Whittney, in Iraq, by calling in a favor with a contact of hers. Joe hadn't heard from Damon since being re-deployed, but he said he missed being under Damon's command.

Ziva had brought her case notes to Gibbs upon her return. He compared notes with her as well, giving her information from the Vargo case while Ziva gave him information on Roberts and the terrorist group.

"Chechnya has ties to a big African terrorist cell?" Gibbs asked, skeptical.

"Mossad believes so."

"You can cross off the NCIS mole. We got the guy. It was Laginer."

"I do not think so Gibbs."

"You don't, huh? Make your case."

"If Laginer had been the mole, the chatter about Domino being sold to Iran would have stopped with his death. You'd have some very unhappy people of course, Gibbs, but that is nothing new with this job."

"What if they don't know he's dead yet?"

"I suppose that is a possibility too but I do not think that is the case."  
>"You need more evidence, Ziva. But if you can get the intelligence then we'll back you."<p>

"I know. And I will keep my eyes and ears open."

"That's good work Ziva," Gibbs said, squeezing her shoulder gently.

Ziva nodded. It felt good to be praised instead of merely being dismissed or handed another case file as her father had done.

The next work day started off like any other. Until a dead sailor was delivered to a classified place. As usual Team Gibbs went off to investigate.

McGee had set up surveillance. And Gibbs was with him. Tony and Ziva were sent back to investigate the classified place. McGee provided instructions to them to keep them moving and out of sight. Except Tony and Ziva ended up setting off an alarm that McGee hadn't bet on being in the picture.

Gibbs had been briefed by Vance; the whole point of this mission was to see how secure Domino actually was after the security breech with Agent Laginer. And so Tony and Ziva would be playing the "bad guys". They had instructions not to engage if caught. Planning the mission was difficult and Ziva felt like screaming. Tony was beating his head with his hand and McGee had his brow wrinkled in concentration. The military facility was secure, Ziva could already tell that. Normally she'd be excited about this kind of mission especially with all the chatter surrounding a mole at NCIS and Domino being sold to Iran. But at the moment, all she felt was like she was butting her head against a wall. It was an impossible mission. The loop of the camera would work, and so would a dead body, like Ari. Lee had reminded them of that.

But things went wrong. McGee's feed had been cut, and now Tony and Ziva were blind. Ziva cursed herself for not bringing a back-up weapon and Tony was wondering how to get out of the facility safely since the other side had live fire. It all happened very quickly after that.

"They haven't made us, yet," Tony said as he and Ziva tried to get out. When Ziva looked up there was a guard with a gun pointed at them.

"On the ground," he snarled.

Ziva didn't even think, she just reacted, battling the guards, trying to protect her partner.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tony told her, but he couldn't get through Ziva's fight to protect instincts.

"Stand down!" Gibbs yelled. When he still heard sounds of fighting, he yelled "Damn it David, that's an order! Stand down!"

Eventually Ziva and Tony both were knocked unconscious by the butts of the guards guns. "I'm sorry Tony," was the last thought that Ziva had before sinking into the blackness.

"Tony," was the first thing Ziva said when she woke up. She was cuffed to a pole and a man questioned her.

"My apologies for the shackles but we were concerned about your state of mind," he said.

Ziva cursed internally. Where the hell was Tony? Had she covered his six? Was he all right? Or dead? "You are right to be. Where is Tony?"

"Remain calm. I promise you and Agent DiNozzo will soon be reunited."

Ziva scowled, she did not like his tone of voice.

A few minutes later Tony walked into the room with the key to Ziva's hand cuffs.

"Tony." He was battered and bruised but he seemed to be all right. "What is going on?"

"I'm not entirely sure. Decker's bullets may not have been real but his gun butt sure was."

Tony unlocked Ziva and helped her to her feet.

"If the bullets were not real then…"

"They knew we were coming," Tony said.

Ziva wavered between crying, cursing, or finding a guard to kick the crap out of. She had thought that when she left Israel she'd left corrupt politics, secrets, and games behind. She had thought that she'd be a pawn no longer and the fact that a government and a leader she trusted could do this to her again, made her want to scream.

"Hey, you okay?" Tony asked.

"No. I thought I was done being a pawn and being lied to. I suppose not."

Tony held Ziva gently for a few seconds.

"Gibbs won't let this go easy. We were set up. We got played. Gibbs'll have Vance's head. C'mon, let's get out of here."

"Gladly."

Ziva was happy to get out of the Domino facility. She needed to clear her head.


	16. Dagger

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

"Was this worth it Leon?" the secretary of the Navy asked.

"Yes sir, we have confirmation. There's still a security breech at NCIS."

"My team didn't set off the alarm. Someone else did, Mr. Secretary," Gibbs said.

The Secretary looked angry. "I thought we'd taken care of that."

"We thought we had too," Vance said.

Gibbs kept his face impassive. Ziva had been right. There was still a mole at NCIS. But if Laginer hadn't been the mole or had been a part of a group who was the mole? That's what you get for not trusting Ziva's judgment his mind told him. Shut up, he told it back. When they got back to the Navy Yard, Vance would pay. Gibbs did not like lying to his team. Especially if he thought he was telling them the truth. Ziva's never going to trust you again, you know. You used her, just like her father. His mind taunted. And Tony, Tony will have your six but he'll be wary of you now too. Shut up!

"We gonna be let in on the real mission now boss? Assuming you know," Tony asked.

"It was a trap. There's a mole at NCIS," Gibbs said sighing.

"You mean I was right?" Ziva asked.

"You knew?" Tony asked, shocked and looking betrayed.

"I suspected. But Gibbs told me I did not have enough intelligence to prove it," Ziva said, looking angry.

Gibbs sighed and threw a glare at Vance. See what lying to my people gets you? He asked Vance internally.

"You didn't have enough intelligence to prove it Ziver. I'm sorry," Gibbs said.

Vance cleared his throat and spoke up, "But we do have enough intelligence to prove it now. That was the point of this exercise. You did not set off the security alarm. Someone else did. Someone at NCIS; someone in the background who must have known what was going on. Someone is betraying their country and someone betrayed you. I need you to find out who."

"If I give you information this time Gibbs, will you believe me?" Ziva asked, hating that she sounded like a lost child.

"I always believed you Ziva. I should have let you build a case instead of waiting."

"Will you tell us everything next time boss?" Tony asked. Gibbs watched Ziva put a comforting hand on Tony's shoulder.

"I told you everything I knew DiNozzo. I gave you all the intelligence that the director shared with me. I'm sorry Tony. I never meant to lie to you. I didn't think I was lying to you."

Tony placed his hand on Ziva's shoulder and the pair walked off to the car they'd come in. Ziva was numb with shock and it didn't appear that Tony was doing much better.

"We were a diversion Tony. A distraction for security to let the mole in and out. We were used."

"You knew there was still a mole?"

"I suspected, yes."

"Why didn't you come to me, Ziva?"

"I did not have enough intelligence, like Gibbs said."

"Bullshit Ziva. Why didn't you come to me?"

"If I was wrong, I did not want to bring you down with me."

"You weren't wrong."

"It appears that way."

"So, do you know who it is?"

"Yes. I do now."

"Who?"

"Michelle Lee."

"No way, Ziva. No way."

"She was the only one who knew the plan and knew what we were going to do."

"Damn it!" Tony yelled and hit the steering wheel. "So how do we get her?"

"Easy. Act like we lost the war game and lick our wounds, and watch her like a hawk."

"So Laginer died for no reason," Tony said, his voice flat.

"Yes Tony. He died because he was in the way."

"I don't like the politics. Didn't we get our fill of lies, secrets and hidden agendas in the previous administration?"

"Tony, it will be all right," Ziva said, reaching over to pat his thigh comfortingly.

"So what happens now?"

"We wait."

The next day, Vance called security. All agents were being screened with a Geiger counter. The team looked on in wonder as Abby was lead away by security. Ziva was not only annoyed now but upset and ready to kick some ass. Abby would never betray NCIS. Abby would never disappoint or upset Gibbs that way. And Abby wasn't the mole, Michelle Lee was. So what was Vance playing at?

Tony yanked Ziva aside after the screening.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I do not know, Tony. If I knew I'd tell you. But Abby, Abby's no mole."

"Then why did the counter go off?"

Suddenly the light bulb when on in Ziva's brain, "Tony! I know now! She is a scientist. She has a lab. She usually keeps the lab unlocked but for the past week what has it been?"

"Locked, but what does that have to do…?"

"… Tony she was protecting all of us. She developed the powder on the consul. And even if she wore gloves the powder would penetrate."

"She was protecting us. That's why the lab was locked. She didn't want us to touch anything in there for fear of one of the innocent people setting off the counter. She protected the whole damn agency."

"That sounds much more like the Abby we know, yes?"

"Yeah, it does. Why were we so stupid, Ziva? All of this was right in front of our faces."

"We do not want to see traitors, Tony, we want to see the good in people."

"I guess you're right but I still wish that none of this happened."

"Me too, Tony. Me too."

They caught Lee. And then Vance let her go, with one catch. Gibbs was going with her.

It turned out that the bad guys had Lee's daughter. Tony was skeptical. Ziva wasn't for some reason. She figured that Lee was telling the truth about that. Ziva knew she was almost a human lie detector. It was part of her training.

So once again they were at work with almost nothing; it drove Tony nuts. Ziva knew how it felt to be working blind. She'd done it a few times in Mossad but it wasn't her favorite way to work. In fact it was her least favorite. She liked to have all the facts on the table and have a plan, not just go into a situation armed not knowing what they'd find.

She crashed on Abby's futon that night. McGee was sleeping in the squad room with Gibbs. Abby sat up with Ziva for a little bit, eating pizza.

"How're you doing with the case, Ziva?"

"It is hard Abby. What kind of sick twisted person would kidnap a little girl?"

"I don't know Ziva. But we're gonna get them, I promise."

"I know. Gibbs is good."

"Yeah he is. Hey Ziva?"

"Yes?"

"Have you heard from Damon?"

"No. Oh Abby, I miss him so much."

"I bet you do. I'm sorry Ziva," Abby said, reaching out her hand to stroke Ziva's hair.

Once Ziva fell asleep, Abby pulled Werth's service records and began to track him. She finally found him and then slipped out of her lab with her cell phone and dialed.

"Werth."

"Corporal Damon Werth?"

"Yeah, who wants to know?"

"Abby Sciuto, Forensics at NCIS."

"What does NCIS want from me?"

"Do you miss Ziva, Damon?"

"Of course I do, what the hell is this?"

"She misses you Damon."

"She ask you to tell me that?" Damon asked, his voice laced with acid.

Abby flinched. "No, she didn't."

"Then why did you call me?"

"She needs you Damon. She loves you."

Damon gave a short laugh, "Yeah, sure she does."

"She does. Come to NCIS the day after tomorrow. I'll prove it to you."

"Fine, but if you're lying, I will be pissed."

"I know."

Abby hung up and fell asleep in her office chair.

In the end, the bad guy was caught as usual. Amanda was gotten from the computer hub and Michelle's life was over.

Ziva's eyes glazed over with tears as Gibbs talked to Amanda about Michelle. She knew how hard it was to get news of a loved one dying when you were young. Amanda would probably go into foster care now and Ziva hoped someone would adopt the brave little girl. She knew most Americans wanted babies and not young children but she hoped that Amanda would find a nice home. In a way, Amanda's childhood was not so different from Ziva's own. Ari stepped into the papa role when Eli missed Ziva's dance and piano recitals. Ari would buy her flowers and sweep her up into his arms afterwards planting a kiss on Ziva's cheek telling her she was the best thing about the recital. Ziva would beam back at him, and then tell him to stop, that she hadn't been that good. Ari would protest and would usually take her out for ice cream. Like Michelle Lee, stepping up to take care of her sister, Ari stepped up to make sure that Ziva didn't feel abandoned.

"You all right, Ziver?" Gibbs asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I will be fine Gibbs. Just some memories."

"Ari?" Gibbs whispered in her ear.

Ziva nodded once.

"Like Lee," Gibbs whispered.

"Yes," Ziva whispered back, her eyes filling. She blinked back the tears and forced herself to take a breath.

"Ziva?"

Ziva looked up from the patch of floor she was concentrating on. Damon was standing there, wearing a visitor's badge, with Jimmy Palmer.

"Dr. Mallard told me to go get him when none of you guys picked up your phones," Jimmy explained.

"Damon?" Ziva said, stunned. She ran from the comfort of Gibbs' hand to the comfort of Damon's arms. She kissed him right there in the bull pen, not caring who saw. A few tears of joy leaked out of her eyes.

"Abby called," Damon said.

"Tell Abby I'm going to kill her," Ziva said to Jimmy, before pulling Damon back for a kiss.

"Okay, enough grab ass. Get back to work Officer David," Gibbs said.

Ziva went to her desk but couldn't let go of Damon's hand. She needed to talk to him soon. Hopefully she could finish the paperwork and leave. She knew he wouldn't like what she had to say.


	17. Legend part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Finally the paperwork on Michelle Lee's case was done. Ziva put together the last of the files and put everything on Gibbs' desk. NCIS was safe from a mole. There were no more security breeches.

"Good work Ziva. Go home."

Ziva nodded and took Damon's hand. They drove separately back to the apartment they'd once shared. Damon was surprised at the amount of dust covering everything when Ziva let them in and turned on the lights.

"You haven't been living here?"

"No. It was too painful without you. Now I know how you felt when I left. I am sorry that I left the way I did. I've had time to think about it and regret it."  
>"I'm sorry too Ziva. We had a future you know."<p>

"I know. Do you think you can ever forgive me?"

"Yeah, I can, but damn Ziva, you broke me. You broke me in a way that combat never could. I love you and you walked out on me."

"I love you too. Can I tell you a bit about the past few months, Damon?"

"Sure."

When Jenny died, I knew that Vance would replace her as director. I knew that he would probably send me back to Israel."

"Why?"

"I killed Ari, not Gibbs. The only people who knew the truth were Gibbs, myself and, later, Director Shepard. According to Director Vance, there would be no use for a Mossad liaison officer. But it went deeper than that. Vance disbanded the whole team. There was a mole in NCIS."

"What did the mole want?"

"Troop movements incase of a military attack in the middle east. Most specifically Israel."

"Jesus. Tell me Gibbs got the guy."

"Gibbs got the guy who wanted the information and the mole as well. Although the mole was never going to sell the information to Iran as my chatter believed."

"And so you ended up in Israel."

"It was no picnic, Damon. I was under cover and was almost blown up."

Damon held Ziva tighter to him and swore.

"But my case, a Chechnyan terrorist group ended up tied to one of Gibbs' cases. And then some of the information I gained was helpful to our mole hunt. The terrorist group goes deeper than Chechnya. They are believed to have ties to Hamas and a terrorist group in Africa."

"So was your mission a success?"

"No. But I was assigned a new mission."

"Can you tell me about it?"

"Not really. But I can tell you I will have to pretend to date my target."

"I don't like it. What if you're made and he hurts you?"

"I will not get caught, Damon."

"I can't stay and watch this Ziva."

"I know you can't. But I wanted to let you know. And I wanted to give you a proper good bye this time. No matter what happens, I love you Damon."

"I love you Ziva. Isn't there anyone else who can do this?"

"No, Damon, there is not."

"Then let's have our night."

The pair cleaned the apartment, neither one of them liked the condition it had been in, before going to bed.

The next morning, Ziva made Damon breakfast and they spent the day together talking and laughing. Neither one of them mentioned her mission again. Damon kissed her good bye when he had to go to work and if he held her longer than he usually would have or if either of them felt the others tears no one said anything about it.

Over the next few weeks, Ziva cleaned out her closets and dressers at the team's homes and moved back into her old apartment. Jimmy even gave Ziva back her piano. Everything was in place. Now all she had to do was wait.

She didn't have to wait long, Michael texted her the instant he was state side. Ziva gritted her teeth and replied that she'd love to see him and couldn't wait until his arrival in DC. She only hoped she could lie well enough to pull this off.

Tony picked up Ziva's phone and then Ziva grabbed it from him. It was Michael. He was telling her that he would be delayed. Apparently there was activity from a terrorist group in LA that Michael needed to take care of before coming to see Ziva in DC.

He called again a few hours later, Ziva was out of her chair and moving. "Cover for me?" she asked Tony.

"What? When will you be back?"

"Soon," she said, walking out of the bull pen.

After being driven crazy with the phones, Tony called Ziva's cell, "Oh hi, I'm not keeping you from anything am I? Like, maybe work?"  
>"Tony I am working on something. I am following a lead," Ziva said. There was no reason to tell him that what she was working on wasn't his case nor would it help his case.<p>

"Lead? On Chandler?"

"Might not come to anything," Ziva said, hating lying to Tony. She knew it would come to something and a big something but that it had nothing to do with Chandler and she didn't want Tony hurt in the process.

"Care to share?" Tony asked her, sounding slightly annoyed. Ziva knew why. She was off-grid, and without Gibbs, Tony was in charge. If something happened to her, Tony would be the one getting drug through the fire.

"Tony, I cannot talk. I have to go."

"Go?" Tony asked as Ziva hung up on him. She swore internally and made sure she had a smile for Michael.

"DiNozzo?" Michael asked.

"I do not want to lie to him, Michael." This was more true than Michael knew.

"A small lie," Michael said, trying to comfort Ziva.

Ziva tried to force a smile back on her face but it didn't work. So she settled for looking upset, knowing that Michael would read it as her being upset about not being honest with her partner.

"Your father sends his love," Michael told her.

Ziva nodded once, slowly, "What else does my father send?"

"Me."

Ziva tried not to let her displeasure show through. She was hoping Michael would say information or maybe a book. But of course Director David sent him, this was her mission. She had to play the loving girlfriend, play her cards right and then gain information about Hamas and Somalia. She noticed that Michael drank a lot more than he used to, even in the middle of the day. That was dangerous for an operative and dangerous for an agent as well. With too much alcohol, your judgment would not be clear, you might miss something, or you might end up dead.

"I'm sorry about yesterday Tony," Ziva said as she entered the bull pen. She knew that Tony's body language was screaming "I'm pissed at you" and she really did feel bad.

"Hey, it's all good. I like to keep insanely busy."

"I said I was sorry," Ziva snapped. Michael had been drinking at 0700 this morning. That was reckless and sloppy. She began to type an e-mail to her father detailing Michael's odd behavior.

"Don't sweat it, it's all good," Tony said, in a tone that Ziva knew meant that it wasn't all good.

For the first time Ziva was glad that Gibbs was in LA. If she was a human lie detector, he was even better. And if she had lied to him yesterday, he would have known and she would have gotten the Gibbs' stare until she told him the truth. And she could not afford to tell the truth right now. Instead, after e-mailing her father she began to look at Chandler's bank records, service records and even school records to determine if there might be something useful in them. She felt awful for leaving Tony here alone yesterday, it sounded like he had been hitting dead ends all afternoon while she had been out with Michael. She would be staying late tonight, she knew. Yesterday she had accused Tony of being jealous to get him off her case. It hadn't really worked and Ziva had come away from the conversation looking full of herself. She sighed and got back to work.

"I have a lead," she told Tony a few hours later.

"Oh a real lead? I mean, oh really? A lead?"

"Eighteen months ago a man was found strung up and wired to a battery in a forest outside of Baltimore. Same MO as Chandler's. Crime scene suspects are brothers Stefano and Benji Kass. They run a scaffolding business."

"When were they charged?"

"They weren't. All witnesses disappeared."

Tony and Ziva tracked down Stefano and Benji who weren't talking. Ziva eventually slipped away from Tony and went to get coffee. Michael was there, relaxing on a bench.

"What are you doing here Michael?"

"I wanted to see you, is that all right? I am enjoying my vacation here in America," Michael said, smiling

"That is fine but I do not have much time. I told Tony I was going for coffee."

"You do not drink coffee, Ziva."

"True but I do drink tea," Ziva said, ordering her tea and then waiting for it.

"How is the case?"

"The trouble is deeper than we thought."

"Tell me about it? I may be able to help."

"No, you cannot help, Michael. It is an open investigation meaning it is classified. I cannot tell you. I am sorry."

"Come now Ziva. We are partners. Surely you can tell me?"

"No, Michael, I cannot. And Tony is my partner while I am on American soil," Ziva said, grabbing her tea. "I have to get back to work."

"Back to DiNozzo?"  
>"Are you jealous, Michael?"<p>

"Maybe a little."

"I will see you at home. Shalom," Ziva said, kissing him quickly before heading back to NCIS. Across the park, she'd spotted Damon and cursed her bad luck.

As Ziva was leaving for the day, Tony got into the elevator just before it closed, forcing the doors to open again. "Hey," he said.

Ziva was annoyed and looked it. Why couldn't he just leave her alone?

"Thanks for holding that."

She let out a sigh, "You're welcome Tony."

"Never thought I'd say this but I almost miss McGee. Almost. What about you, you miss him?"

"Yes, I do," Ziva said, answering not only the question about McGee but the unasked and unintentional one about Damon as well.

"Miss anyone else? Gibbs?"

"Some," Ziva said, having a feeling that they would play twenty questions until she was at her car.

"What about your friend from Tel Aviv?"

"Tony…"

"I'm just saying."

"Yes, I miss Michael too."

"When he called the other day I thought he must have been here."

Ziva cursed internally. She had told Michael to be careful! "No, sadly, Michael is not here." Ziva hated lying to Tony. But she couldn't tell him about her mission either. Tony was silent after that and didn't bother wishing Ziva a good night. This made her more upset than she would admit. She drove home, wishing that her mission would soon be over.


	18. Legend part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Arriving home, Ziva noticed that Michael was gone. There was a note on the counter. "_Ziva, gone to LA. There is an opportunity there I cannot pass up. I will see you as soon as I can. Love, Michael."_

Ziva swore and vented her feelings by throwing a knife into the bedroom doorjamb. Michael had gone to LA. But now Gibbs and McGee were in LA. She had no way to warn them but to admit everything. She couldn't risk it, but they'd have to watch their sixes. Ziva prayed that they would.

In LA Michael met with Liam, the arms dealer. "I've been expecting you," Liam said.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Liam," Michael said. "You have everything I want?"

"Times four," Liam said.

"Passports?"

"Everything."

"And it's all here?"

"It's all here."

Since everything was being fed to NCIS LA because Callan was under cover as Liam, Gibbs was watching the deal take place looking more pissed off by the second. He knew that accent. So what the hell was an Israeli doing buying weapons from a terrorist supplier? Was Mossad going to bust this guy? And if so why hadn't Eli David informed Director Vance or at the very least Ziva? Gibbs gut went cold. What if Ziva already knew? He knew she'd been distracted lately but he never expected her to be conducting a mission on American soil. He wanted to call her now, but he knew he needed to watch how this played out. He focused his attention on the screen.

"You know I met with the man in the mask? He said you were dead," Michael told Callan.

"Let me know when he passes, I'll come to his funeral."

"Too late." Michael said, pulling a gun on Callan, "Who are you?"

Federal agents burst into the room.

"C'mon Mace. He wasn't gonna shoot me." Callan turned to Michael. "Tell her you weren't going to shoot me."

"I wasn't going to shoot him. FBI? CIA?"

"NCIS," Callan said. "Who are you?"

"Mossad."

"And you can prove that?"

"No, but I know someone who can. Her name is Ziva David."

Gibbs swore internally. So she did know him. Was she covering for him? This was one big mess.

A few minutes later Tony walked into the NCIS bull pen. "Morning," he told Ziva as she was getting up.

"Tony," she greeted.

"Something up?"

"Gibbs."

"He's back?"

"MTAC."

"Ah that's nice. Three one-word answers want to go for a fourth?"

"No."

"All right. Now I'm going to ask you a question that's going to demand more than a one word answer," Tony said, following Ziva up the stairs. "Are you ready for that, Ziva David?"

"Nope."

"All right, here comes the question. Ready?"

"No beverages allowed in MTAC," Ziva said, pointing to his coffee.

"Oh. Soy vanilla latte no sugar added. I didn't blow back, it's all yours," Tony said, handing off his coffee to another agent rather than find the trash can. "God, question was right on the tip of my tongue and now I can't remember it."

Ziva scanned them into MTAC.

"Why can't I remember the question? Oh, questions are of course, uh, they're relative and I don't mean that in a sense of…"

An MTAC operator interrupted him. "OSP's on the line."

"Ziva," Gibbs said.

The coldness in his voice made Ziva's gut churn. What if her mission was compromised? What if Gibbs no longer trusted her? What the hell had Michael done in LA? "Gibbs," she greeted.

"McGee, put it up," Gibbs said. "You recognize him?"

Shit, Ziva thought. Michael had gotten into trouble. Why was she always the one to get people out of trouble? First Ari, now Michael. How much would her loyalty to her father cost her?

"Ziva," Gibbs demanded.

"Yes I know him. His name is Michael Rivkin."

"He says he's Mossad."

"Yes, he is with the Mossad."

"Anything else you can tell us about him Officer David?" Agent Macy asked.

"No, I have not worked with him in some time," Ziva lied. Gibbs blue eyes bore into her, as if he could read her mind. It made her want to squirm.

"We will talk more about this later," Gibbs said.

"Of course," Ziva said, knowing that she'd need Gibbs help anyhow. "You did not think I would identify him," she told Tony. "That was not a question."

"Anything you want to tell me Ziva?"

"No. One word answer. I win," she said, walking out of MTAC.

She wanted Gibbs. Gibbs would have the answers. She walked out of the Navy yard and went to the grill where Damon worked.

"Ziva, hey," Andrew, one of the other waiters called to her. She waved.

"Andrew, is Damon here?"

"Yeah he's in the back. I'll get him."

"What are you doing here, Ziva?"

"I need your help Damon. I'm in over my head."

"With your mission?"

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"He is running a Hamas terrorist group. He's killing off suspects or Gibbs would not have asked me to identify him this morning."

"He's in LA?"

"Yes."

"The cell isn't in DC?"

"No. Apparently I am the thing that keeps bringing him back to DC. I hope Gibbs can catch up to him. I want him gone, Damon," Ziva said, reaching for Damon.

Damon drew back. Ziva looked startled.

"I want to hold you Ziva I do. But not until he's gone."

"Help me?"

"He completes his mission in LA, he comes back here. I'll help you. Elimination?"

"If it comes to that, yes."

"I've got your back Ziva. You better get back to work. Tony will miss you."

"Bye Damon. And thank you."

"You're welcome."

Ziva did not head back to the Navy yard but rather to Gibbs home. She would wait in the basement until he came home from LA.

She threw her knife into the wood making up an unfinished wall. Again and again it struck the target. She was going crazy. She hated this mission and hated her father for putting her in this position.

Gibbs finally stormed down the stairs of his basement and took a seat opposite Ziva. "Start talking. Now."

"Before I left Israel my father gave me a mission. Rivkin is suspected of running a terrorist cell. I was supposed to find out what their target was and try to avert the danger. I am also playing at Rivkin's girlfriend. And now I am worried Gibbs. This is much deeper than just Michael and he is unstable. Drinking all the time. Even at 0700. It's sloppy and someone could get hurt. I need your help Gibbs."

"What's his target?"

"I do not believe he has one, not anymore. I believe he is killing terrorists who are not on anyone's watch list. They may not be terrorists, Gibbs."

"Yeah, I got that Ziva."

"What do I do?"

"You leave him to me. I gotta go, back to LA. You don't tell anyone about this conversation, all right?"

"Yes Gibbs."

"And Ziva? Be good to Tony. He's only concerned about you."

Ziva felt even worse now. She knew that Gibbs would help her and she knew that he trusted her. That had not changed. But Ziva had not trusted Tony. It was time she let him in. She sighed and drove to Tony's.

Tony answered her knock and then leaned back slightly in the door way, "Oh it's you. Come to lie to me some more?"

"No, Tony. I came to tell you the truth."

"You did huh?" Tony sounded surprised, not that she blamed him. "Well I'm listening.

"Before I left Israel my father gave me a mission. Rivkin is suspected of running a terrorist cell. I was supposed to find out what their target was and try to avert the danger. I am also playing at Rivkin's girlfriend."

"That's why you met him while we were on a case. Didn't want to raise his suspicions. Does this have anything to do with the mole hunt we did a few months ago?"

"Yes. We believed that the mole was working for the same terrorist group. It turns out we were right about that part. Although earlier intelligence had led us to believe that the mole was originally going to sell Domino to Iran."

"And Michael's running this thing?"

"No, my father was wrong about that too. Michael is part of the cell but he is not running it. This goes deeper than Michael."

"Chechnya?"

"You know about that?" Ziva asked, stunned.

"Gibbs told Ducky about the explosion. Ducky told me, then I investigated."

"Not Chechnya. Somalia."

"Somalia?"

"I have not been able to confirm yet. But I believe so."

"Gibbs know about your mission?"

"Do you think I would be here if he did not Tony?"

"Well no. Are you okay, Ziva, playing his girlfriend?"

"No. I thought it would be easy Tony but he's started drinking heavily. Leaves things sloppily done around the house and I cannot imagine him in the field. I am afraid he will leave me with a big mess to clean up."

"Gibbs and I will help you clean it up Ziva."

"No. Rule number thirty-five, clean up your own messes."

"Screw the rules."

"You had better not let Gibbs hear you say that."

"Where is the boss man anyway? I can't imagine he'd have that conversation with you over the phone."

"He flew in. He is back in LA now helping them locate the other terrorists and wrap up the case."

"If Michael doesn't kill them all first."  
>"Don't even think that Tony. Otherwise Gibbs will eliminate him."<p>

"And back to Israel you'll go."

"Yes," Ziva said closing off. Tony reached for her and she allowed him to hold her. He wasn't Damon but her best friend would do for tonight.

In LA, Gibbs tracked down Michael.

"You are Gibbs."

"Time for you to go home. Now."

"I do not like leaving things unfinished."

"You're done. I'm finishing it for you."

"I leave, Washington and Tel Aviv look the other way."

"That's not what I'd do."

"We fight the same war. Only ours began in Auschwitz. I have six million uniforms. Every one is different."

"I got one. Ziva David, she works for me."

"Shalom."

Gibbs walked away and he and McGee got ready to go home. Gibbs had had enough of LA for a long time. He needed to get back to Ziva and make sure she had him and Tony on her six. It was going to be a long ride.


	19. Semper Fidelis

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Ziva shared a bed with Michael that night, hating herself all the while. At least it was the hotel's bed and not her bed with Damon. And then he was gone before Ziva woke up the next morning. She headed to work, hoping for a case that would take her mind off of Michael and Damon.

A dead ICE agent and a game at the Secretary of the Navy's home was enough to distract Ziva. She studied the patrol pattern, the footprints, and surprised Tony by climbing up a tree to get a better view of the property.

Ziva was running background checks on every one who had been at the poker game the previous night. Nothing popped up. But Fornell found a name on his watch list to check. Abin Tabul. Michael called and told her he had information for her. The phone call spooked her but she tried not to show it.

"Start talking," she said with she sat down.

"Shalom to you too Ziva. That is no way to greet your boyfriend."

Ziva gave him a kiss and then sat back down. Folding her arms.

"Abin Tabul is one of the men close to a terrorist who works out of Somalia. He supplies this man with what he needs, including handling smaller cells. He is a big player Ziva. Bigger than you or your agency realize. And it would be a shame if Gibbs or DiNozzo got hurt, wouldn't it?"

"Yes it would. So help me."

"Leave Abin Tabul to me, I will take care of him, my Ziva."

"Like you took care of those two men in LA Michael?"  
>"Just like," Michael said, smiling. "You have nothing to worry about."<p>

"I am not worried, although if I were, I'd be worried for you."

"How sweet," Michael said, tucking a lock of Ziva's hair behind her ear. "But I can take care of myself."  
>Ziva pulled her hair free and Michael chuckled.<p>

"So can I," Ziva reminded him. "I wish I could stay for lunch Michael."  
>"It's okay, join me for a drink."<p>

"At 11:30? Michael, you should not be drinking this early," Ziva scolded.

"Another vodka please," Michael asked the waitress before turning back to Ziva. "And do you tell that to your Agent Gibbs too?"

Noticing the waitress was still standing there, Ziva ordered, "Nothing for me thanks. Gibbs drinks coffee in the morning and bourbon at night."

"You know this how?"

"I have stayed with him, in his guest room some nights."

"Why?"

"It is sometimes nice to have people who care about you close by. Is it not, Michael?"

"This is true, Ziva, but you should not impose."

"Oh no, I am never imposing. Gibbs makes sure I know that."

"You know, I believe he sees you as a daughter."

"Perhaps he does. He would make a good father." Unlike her father who had shaped her to become one thing and one thing only.

"Your father would not like that Ziva," Michael said, motioning for the waitress.

"I barely speak to the man Michael," Ziva said, struggling to reign in her temper.

"A fact I know he regrets Ziva."

"Maybe if he had been more honest with me I would actually want to talk to him. But he has kept too much from me Michael. I can never be open with him again and I can never see him as a father."

"You killed Ari, did you not?"

Ziva could not help the shock that crossed her face. "How did you know that?"

"I didn't. I merely suspected but you confirmed it."

Ziva swore.

"I will not tell Director David, Ziva. Besides the Director wanted Ari dead anyway."  
>"And you wonder why I don't speak to him?"<p>

"No need to be angry Ziva. Ari betrayed us."

"No, Ari betrayed our country. Ari never betrayed me until he pointed that gun at Gibbs."

"Are you in love with Agent Gibbs Ziva?" Michael asked before asking the waitress to bring him the bottle of vodka.

"Why would you ask that?"

"You killed your own brother to save him. You must have felt something for Gibbs."

"I already told you, I see him as a good leader."

"And nothing more?"

"No."

"Agent DiNozzo then?"

"Are you jealous Michael?"

"Perhaps."

"Tony and I are partners Michael, there is nothing between us."

Michael poured himself another glass of the vodka he was drinking and Ziva moved the bottle away. "You have had enough Michael."

"I am on vacation, Ziva. Let me have a few drinks."

"And your vacation includes finding intelligence about Abin Tabul Michael?"

"I love my work and my country Ziva. Something you should remember."

"I always do Michael. I am working on a case."

"Tell me."

Ziva remained silent and Michael took her head, "Ah this is what a relationship looks like. How was your day, dear?"

They both started to laugh.

"I'll tell you when it's over," Ziva said, not meaning the case, but meaning her mission. Her cell phone started to ring. "Tony I thought I told you I would…"

"We got Abin Tabul. You gotta get back to work now," said Tony.

"Okay."

"Now Ziva."

"Okay," she said, hanging up.

"You have to go already?" Michael asked.

"Well we are looking for a terrorist and Tony says we just found him so… I will see you later." Ziva leaned in and kissed him patting his cheek before leaving.

Tony placed a glass of vodka on the side of the table. "Thank you," Michael said.

"You're welcome. Is this seat taken?"

"You have come to chase her away from me."

"How does Ziva like being played?"

"Well she will not like you lying to her Agent DiNozzo."

Tony chuckled a bit, "No, no, I can't imagine that she will. She'll forgive me though in time. You though, I can't see her forgiving you for playing her for a fool. If there's one thing you haven't learned about Ziva it's that she is no fool and she will not play one for long. And I think we both know that this romance isn't 'kosher'."

"I can understand your suspicions given what we have about you in your dossier, Agent Meatball."

"There's an El Al flight tonight out of Ronald Regan at 8:25 pm. Lands at Ben Gurion tomorrow evening."

"I am not finished spending time with Ziva."

"NCIS says you are."

"Ziva is very lucky to have a man like you in her life. Like a big brother."

"More like a best friend. Anyway, I have some work to do and you clearly have some drinking to finish and after that I think you should start packing."

"You can question my feelings for Ziva all you want. Unfortunately you cannot question her feelings for me. Can you?"

"Say shalom Michael. Get on the flight."

"Could you do that Agent DiNozzo? Could you break Ziva's heart like that?"

"If it was in her best interest, yeah I could." Tony said, getting up and leaving.

When Tony entered the bull pen he could feel Ziva's eyes like ice on him.

"We have not found Abin Tabul yet Tony. I came back here quickly because you said we had found him. Where were you?"

Tony gulped. He'd forgotten what a truly angry Ziva looked like. "Where were you? He was in LA on business just like he's in DC on business."

"I cannot believe you! You could have jeopardized my entire mission!"

"I was covering your ass! I played the part of the jealous spurned lover and he bought it. I also told him to clock out, just like Gibbs did. But maybe it would carry more meaning if it came from you!"

"If he clocks out Tony, I have no chance to find the other cells and possibly bring them all down."

"If he doesn't clock out Ziva, I'll bet you a hundred dollars that when and if we find Abin Tabul, he'll be dead!"

Ziva bit her lip and stared at the desk. Tony was right. "Clean house, Ziva. Send him back to Tel Aviv."

She nodded. Michael would have to go. Unless they wanted two investigations disrupted by him. "I will tell him at dinner tonight. Will you come with me to drop me off and pick me up?"

"Yes, I will."

"Let's get back to work then."

They worked until it was dinner time. Tony drove Ziva and dropped her off, circling the block until he found a place to park.

"Michael, I know you are here on business."

Michael laughed, "Did Agent Meatball tell you that?"

"No, Tony has nothing to do with this. But you need to go back to Israel."

"Ziva, I thought you liked spending time with me. I am only here to see you."

"Liar!" Ziva hissed.

"I will go back when I feel like going back, Ziva."

"No. You will go back tonight."

Michael grabbed her arm and twisted it painfully. Ziva cried out. "You do not tell me what to do, do you understand me? You do not tell me what to do. Neither does the Director. You are both too weak to kill the threats so I am doing it for you."

"Let me go," Ziva said, her voice deadly and quiet.

"No."

"The lady said to let her go."

Ziva's head jerked up to the sound of a familiar voice.

"This is not your concern," Michael said with a smile.

"Like hell it's not. I'm a Marine. We serve those who need protecting. Can I offer you a ride ma'am?"

Ziva let the ma'am comment slide and started to get up. Instead Michael got up and told Damon, "Parking lot. Now."

Damon stepped into the parking lot and proceeded to kick Michael's ass. Ziva watched in fascination and horror as Michael slowly gave up and then laughed sinisterly.

"You think she's going to want to be protected? She always wants to take care of herself."

"You don't know her as well as you think then, Do you?"

"I guess I will go. Shalom Ziva."

"Shalom Michael."

Ziva thanked Damon and then got into Tony's car. "How'd it go?"

"Just drive please. Take me to Gibbs' place."

Tony did as she asked. But his cell phone rang. "We got Abin Tabul DiNozzo."

"Alive boss?"

"Dead. Where's Ziva?"

"She's with me."

"Good. Take her back to the Navy yard."

"Yes boss."

"Abin Tabul?" Ziva asked.

"Dead. Where's Rivkin?"

"I do not know Tony. He said he would go."

"Do you trust him?"

"Not anymore."

Ziva snuck out of the Navy yard when Tony brought her. All she wanted was to go home. Unknown to her, Tony followed her. By speeding he beat her home and confronted Rivkin about the information Abby had found on Tabul's laptop. Ultimately, Rivkin got violent, forcing Tony to choose. Kill Rivkin or die.


	20. Aliyah

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Ziva had called Officer Hadar to get a forced extraction of Michael Rivkin. If Hadar brought Michael back to Israel then he would no longer be Ziva's problem. Michael would be her father's problem. However, Michael was attacking Tony when Ziva got to her apartment. Watching one of the men she cared about grappling with a man stronger and more deadly than he ever could be made Ziva flinch. "Tony!" she cried out before she could stop herself. Both men looked at her. Rivkin's eyes were glazed over and Ziva knew his instinct to kill had taken over. Tony looked panicked and upset. Ziva had drawn her weapon and pointed it. Tony had to stop rolling around. Ziva couldn't get a clear shot. Tony looked at her and then did a push-up over Michael. Ziva carefully took aim and fired once. Tony jumped up and Ziva fired off two more rounds once Tony was clear. Ziva was shaking and began to cry. Tony came around her, hands up where she could see them.

"Shh, Ziva, shh, it's okay now," Tony said, slowly helping her lower her gun and holster it.

"I killed him. I killed him Tony."

"You saved my life Ziva," he said pulling her into his arms and comforting her.

"At least the terrorists do not win today, yes?"

"Yes Ziva, you protected two countries. I'm proud of you. Gibbs would be proud of you."

"My father will not be proud of me regardless of Michael's actions," Ziva said quietly.

"Ziva, Michael was giving information to Hamas and Al-Qaeda. Information that could lead to people dying. You protected both Israel and America, and that, Ziva David, is what makes me proud of you."

"Tony, call Ducky, please." Ziva sat on her couch and buried her face in her arms.

"Right. I will."

Tony called Ducky but Ziva couldn't concentrate on the conversation. She buried her head in her arms and tried to breathe. This was ridiculous, she had been trained to be part of the Kidon unit. Killing someone would have been her job on a regular basis had she taken that position instead of Special Operations and then later, Ari's control officer. She shook her head slowly back and forth. She was glad that she'd never been a part of the Kidon unit. Tony sat down on the couch with her and rubbed her shoulder slowly.

"So, what's really bothering you, Ziva?"

"I killed a man Tony, that is what is bothering me."

"Ziva, you specialized in assassinations killing someone was what you did for a living."

"Not exactly. Do you remember the time I told McGee that I could not remember all the names of the people I killed?"

"Before you punched my six-pack, yeah."

"I lied. I do remember. Kasam Hazzik, Ben Saeed, Fatima Kaziri, Ari Haswari, the two men and Dr. Burns from my first crime scene and now Michael Rivkin. Each one stays with you Tony. Their faces, what their last words were, whether their death was quiet or not."

"Gibbs killed Ari Ziva, because Ari killed Kate. You were on Ari's side, Ziva. That's why it took me a bit to warm up to you."

"No, the report says Gibbs killed Ari. We lied."

"But you loved him Ziva. How could you shoot your own brother?" Tony looked confused and dismayed.

"I went to the Israeli Embassy the night before Gibbs set his trap for Ari. I listened outside Officer Bashan's door. He had my father on speakerphone. My father said that he'd known that Ari had gone rogue a long time ago. He knew Ari was planning the attack on the Navy Pier. He was hoping that the American Police would kill him as he attempted to get away. My father sent me to follow Ari, as his control officer, and do my job. Once I heard this, I knew I'd back up Gibbs. I could not let Ari kill indiscriminately and be a rogue agent. So I came to Gibbs, told him I would be his back up. We devised a plan. And as Ari taunted Gibbs, I pulled the trigger. I shot him through the head, Tony. I killed Ari!" Ziva was crying now and Tony was rocking her and soothing her.

_As she talked, Ziva flashed back to Gibbs basement. She shivered, remembering the coldness of the basement. She remembered her finger on the cold unforgiving steel, knowing that she was about to trade in her brother's life for that of an innocent man. The shot had rung out and she had walked down the stairs slowly. _

"_His father's the Deputy Director of Mossad?" Gibbs had asked. _

_Ziva nodded. _

"_Not David?" _

"_Yes," Ziva whisper-sobbed, "He is my half-brother." _

_Gibbs had whispered, "Ah hell. Ziva." He reached for her thumb, squeezed it for a second and then gone upstairs, leaving Ziva alone to mourn her brother. She had sung the entire service for the dead, the familiar Hebrew comforting her. The words she had memorized so long ago from attending funerals of agents with her mother and father when she was a child drew her in and let her mourn. _

_After her first day at NCIS, she had again retreated to Gibbs basement. Her eyes automatically averted from where Ari's blood had pooled a few weeks before. Gibbs looked like he had been expecting her. _

"_Ziva." _

"_Gibbs." _

"_Thank you for letting me stay." _

"_I just have one question Ziva. Why didn't you tell me he was your half-brother?" _

"_I eavesdropped. My father never intended for Ari to survive once he went rogue. I knew he would continue his killing spree. He had become a hard and bitter man Gibbs. The Ari that you knew was nothing like the Ari that I knew. And I knew I would rather kill him than let someone else kill him. I did not want him to be shot through his heart. His heart was what I loved about him. I did not want it to be shredded. So I did not tell you that he was my half-brother. I knew you would excuse me from your back up and I did not want McGee and Tony to be haunted by another death. I already have deaths keeping me awake at night. I would rather their sleep remain peaceful." _

_Gibbs had nodded and then showed Ziva how to sand his boat. _

"_You build these with hand tools?" Ziva asked, curious. _

"_Yeah," Gibbs said, taking a sip of bourbon. _

"_It is a long process, no?" _

"_Yeah, but it calms my mind." _

"_Do they sail?" _

"_Yeah. Otherwise there'd be no point."_

_Ziva looked around, "How do you get the boat out of the basement?_

"_That, Miss David, is a secret." _

_The two sanded the boat, and Ziva found that it did calm her mind and occupy her hands. She smiled and began to hum Adon Olam, something she did while relaxed. Her head had jerked up in surprise when Gibbs' quietly began singing along. He had smiled at her stunned face. _

"_You know Hebrew?" _

"_Not too much. One of the guys I served with in my unit was Jewish. Adon Olam was one of his favorites too." _

"Why did you shoot Ari through the head, Ziva?"

"Because I knew Ari, before he turned into a monster that needed to be stopped. He was kind and loving Tony. I know that is hard for you to understand, especially in light of Kate's death but it is true. I did not want Ari's heart to be damaged in death. His heart was what I loved most about him."

"Oh Ziva. I am so sorry," Tony told her, honestly, comforting her. "The report will say that I killed Rivkin."

"Tony, you cannot do that!"

"I have to Ziva. I can't let you take the blame. Let me. It was self-defense."

Ziva nodded, numb, knowing that Tony was putting his badge on the line. Tony started writing his report. Ziva sat by Michael, softly singing as she had for Ari. When Tony finished his report, he left Ziva a copy.

"Use this to write yours. Then destroy it," Tony said.

Ducky arrived and then Michael's body was transported to NCIS. Ducky had offered a Rabbi and rituals but Ziva had told him that there was no need. Before Ziva understood everything that was happening, they were in Israel. She remembered telling Gibbs, "Rivkin is dead. Tony killed him."

Ziva listened to Tony taking the fall for her, knowing that she and Tony would have a "fight" later, to keep up the pretense. She had to leave, she couldn't listen to him take a fall for her and stay "mad" at him.

"I had no choice," Tony said. Ziva recognized the code words for their fight.

"That is a lie," she said, hoping she looked angry.

"Why would I lie to you Ziva?"

"To save your worthless ass."

"From who? Vance? Mossad?"

Ziva took a breath and then asked what she wanted to know, more than anything. It wasn't part of their "fight" and she no longer cared. "You jeopardized your entire career and for what?"

"For you," Tony said, looking surprised.

Ziva knocked him to the ground, like she was supposed to, and then walked away, trying not to listen to the pain-filled sounds Tony was making. She stormed to her father's office. "You told Michael to stay with me in DC. Why?"

"That is none of your concern."

"I have made it my concern."

"Do not question me Ziva."

"Was any of it real?" She was asking about her mission but Michael had also told her he loved her. Had he been playing her?

"What does it matter? Michael is gone, you must move on."

"This is no longer about him."

"Agent DiNozzo," her father said.

So her father thought this was a love triangle? But Ziva had a mission. What was going on? "I need to know if he was right."

"He was jealous."

"Even if that were true that does not make him wrong. Now answer me! Was it real?"

"I do not know. Perhaps."

"Why was I not told the details of his mission? Why was I excluded?"

"Because Ziva, I do not know who you answer to anymore, NCIS or Mossad."

"What is it you expect from me?"

"I expect your loyalty. To me, and only me. You want to know Michael's assignment? Make this your aliyah. You return to me, to us. You finish what Michael started."

"Fine," Ziva said, walking out. Tony was waiting for her.

"How'd it go, Ziva?"

"Not well. I am going to have to lie to Gibbs Tony."

"He'll forgive you Ziva. He loves you."

"He is a good leader. Take care of yourself Tony," Ziva said, giving Tony an uncharacteristic long hug.

"You too Ziva. You're not going back to DC?"

"No. I have to stay here. Tell Damon I love him?"

"Yeah, I will."

Ziva stood on the tarmac and lied to Gibbs and watch two of the four men she trusted fly away. She sent prayers for Tony, Gibbs, Damon and McGee up after the plane before packing up. She was assigned Jacob as her partner and they were sent on a Jordanian freighter called the Damocles. Ziva wondered what on earth Michael had gotten her in to and how much it would cost her.


	21. Truth or Consequences

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Ziva and Jacob had made it ashore before the Damocles went down. Africa was hot, dusty, and dry. While it was a dry heat, it felt more oppressive than the Israeli heat to Ziva. They had finally found the man running the terrorist camp, Saleem Ulman.

"What's the plan?" Ziva asked. Normally she liked to be in charge and make her own plans but since leaving NCIS she no longer trusted herself to plan and execute properly. So now, she left the planning to Jacob. He had known her before her time at NCIS and had worked a few anti-terrorist operations with her. He knew she liked to make her own plans and she liked to be the boss so it was odd to him that she'd withdrawn from planning.

"We go in, masquerade as people who want to be trained to be terrorists. We live in the camp for awhile, figure out how it works, and then use it against them to bring down the camp."

Ziva nodded. She cleared her throat before asking, "If we are caught?"

"We won't be," Jacob said.

Ziva nodded again and then stood, going over to the kitchenette of their hotel room and beginning to make dinner. This operation scared her more than any other one she had done. Including Ari. She always wanted a plan B and plan C just in case plan A failed. She liked to map out all possible outcomes of a situation before making a move. Living in a terrorist training camp in the Sahara desert with no back up plans did not seem like a good idea to Ziva. But she also wasn't ready to butt in and plan. Her head had been foggy since she'd left NCIS and Damon. At least when she left Damon she had the team to keep her anchored. Without Damon and the team she felt like she was just drifting.

"Was this Michael's mission?" Ziva asked Jacob. He stood and walked into the kitchenette doorway so that he could easily talk to Ziva.

"I think so, Ziva."

"But then why would Eli tell me that he suspected Michael of running a Hamas cell and selling intelligence to terrorists?"

"Maybe it was a test, Ziva."

"A test of what?"

"Loyalty."

"How is this a test of loyalty, Jacob?"

Jacob ran his hands through his black hair before answering Ziva. "If you could prove that Michael was not a terrorist then you would be loyal."

"So why are we here Jacob? Punishment?"

"Punishment and to re-think our priorities," Jacob said, giving a short laugh.

"What priorities?"

"I am supposed to put work before everything else. And I believe that you are supposed to put Mossad and your- sorry- Eli before everything else. Even Damon, Ziva."

"That is absolutely ridiculous!" Ziva cried.

And now, now it was September. The plan had utterly failed. At first, in May, when Jacob had broken their cover and gotten killed, Ziva had been beaten. She'd had worse, but her whole face hurt as well as her back. She'd been given lashes and she knew that there would be a web of scars on her back. Saleem had tied her to a chair, ripped off her Star of David, and held her by the hair, causing a gasp of pain to be drawn from her.  
>"Tell me everything you know about NCIS," he'd sneered, expecting her to crack. Ziva was tougher than that however and instead of talking, recalled all the good times she and Damon had had together.<p>

By June her food supply had been drastically cut down and she grew so thin that Saleem and his men ordered her new pants and a new shirt as well as a jacket because the nights got cold and they did not have the intelligence they wanted from her yet. She knew she was slowly starving to death and yet she was all right with that. She had failed. She had failed Ari by shooting him. She had failed Gibbs by leaving him for Mossad. She had failed Jenny and now Jenny was dead. She had failed Tony by letting him take the fall for her actions. She had failed McGee by not recognizing his capabilities as an agent until she was without him. She had failed Ducky by not being the "niece" he could be proud of. She had failed Jimmy by not recognizing a friend when he obviously was. She had failed Abby with her lack of empathy and by not being a better friend. She had failed Tali by letting her go to the café in the first place. She had failed her mother by not being a girly girl. And finally she had failed her father by not being the daughter that he could mold into a son. Simply put she had failed in all kinds of ways. No wonder her father wasn't rescuing her.

By July she'd given up hope of being rescued and still refused to talk. She would not betray the agency that she'd come to see as home or the team she'd seen as family. The beatings continued and cigarette burns were added to the torture regimen.

By August she knew she would die here. One day they would get sick of her stubbornness and kill her. She was praying, readying herself for death, when Saleem came in to her cell. That was odd, usually she was passed roughly from guard to guard until she was bound in a chair and Saleem came in to interrogate her while his men dished out the lashings and the burns. Saleem stripped her even as she fought him. She was too weak to fight and a month ago one of the guards had accidentally broken her arm. Saleem had punished him and found a doctor to cast her. She was surprised at this, she assumed he'd just leave it to heal on its own. Saleem dropped his pants and then began to rape her. She bit down on her lip, not allowing herself to cry out, keeping her eyes closed so he wouldn't see her tears. He still asked questions about NCIS. Called her names, called her a dirty Jew and a whore. When he left, she curled up and cried. She would have gladly given up the use of her arm if Gibbs would come bursting through the door to save her.

By September, she no longer cared what happened to her. Every day just made her long for death. Rescue was never going to happen. Eli didn't care and Gibbs didn't know where she was. Until one day she was marched into the room with the chair again and she readied herself for the inevitable pain. Instead Saleem spoke.

"Questions are being asked in town about missing NCIS agents. One of you will tell me the names and locations of all the operatives in the area and the other one will die."

He tore the cloth from Ziva's head and she gasped. She was hallucinating now because there, cuffed to a chair, was Tony DiNozzo.

"I will give you a moment to decide who lives," Saleem said, walking away.

"Out of everyone in the world who could have found me, it had to be you," Ziva said. Of course it was Tony that found her. Tony was the one who had her back and who always covered for her.

"You're welcome. So are you glad to see me?"

Oh god, now that Tony was here, he would be tortured and killed along with her. And McGee too. And if by some miracle they did end up alive, she would end up back at Mossad. Back in Eli's hands. Death was preferable. "You should not have come. Are you all right, McGee?"

"Like hell we shouldn't have come Ziva. You're one of us. Course Gibbs'll be pissed that you lied to him but he'll get over it."

"I am one of you. Even after… everything?"

"Especially after everything."

"I'm just glad you're alive," McGee said.

"Listen, you should know that I've taken some kind of truth serum so if there's any questions that you, uh, don't want to know the answer to…" Tony told her.

And just when Ziva thought all was lost, Gibbs came through. If she could run, she would have run to him. As it was, she needed McGee and Tony to hold her up.

"Let's go home," Gibbs said.

On the plane, Tony let Ziva sit in silence. McGee kept trying to engage her in a conversation but she didn't feel like talking. Gibbs let her clean up a bit in the airport bathroom. Everything looked too clean, bright, over-real. Ziva was scared as they drove into the Navy yard. She jumped as Gibbs opened her door for her.

"Do we have to, Gibbs?" she asked.

"We do. We have case reports to write. And you need to see Ducky."

A medical assessment. No. Ziva bowed her head. "Gibbs… I…"

"Tony told me, Ziva. About the lie, right before we came to get you. I'm pissed Ziva. Why didn't you trust me enough to tell me the truth?"

"I trusted Ari. I trusted my father. I trusted Jenny. I trusted Tony. I trusted Damon. I could not afford to trust you," Ziva said, ashamed.

"It's okay now Ziver. You're home and you're safe. You need that arm checked out though."

"Yes Gibbs."

He held out his hand for her and she took it, walking on her own power to the building. As they took the elevator up, Ziva shivered slightly.

"Are you cold, Ziver?" Gibbs asked her.

"No."

When the doors opened, Gibbs motioned for Ziva to go first but she didn't feel safe doing that so she stepped back, allowing Gibbs to go first. The entire agency began clapping which scared Ziva until she got used to it. Abby stepped forward to wrap her in a hug. Ziva's body tensed but she allowed herself to be hugged. Tony had shoved past everyone to sit at his desk and look at her. He had a slight smile. Ziva was dreading the visit to Ducky. She hoped that it wouldn't be too bad. All she wanted was a shower and some sleep. At least she was finally home with the people who cared most about her.


	22. Reunion

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Ducky checked Ziva's injuries, while trying to put her at ease. He knew that she would need lots of help and support to get her through the transition back to America. He kept his worried noises to himself, knowing they would only scare Ziva.

"Well my dear, a few of these cuts need to be stitched up and someone needs to reset your left arm. I am sorry. But it did not heal correctly."

"Ducky…"

"Yes Ziva?" he asked while gently cleaning the wounds on her back and then getting ready to sew them up.

"I am sorry."

"What on earth are you sorry for my dear?" Ducky asked, stopping what he was doing and moving around to face Ziva.

"I failed you. I did not make you proud of me."

"Oh my dear that's where you are wrong. You have made the whole agency proud of you," Ducky said, keeping his eyes on Ziva's.

"I do not care about the agency Ducky, I only care about our family."

"Our family?" he asked as he went back to sewing up the wounds.

"You, Tony, Jimmy, McGee, Abby, Gibbs and me, we are a family, kind of, yes?"

"Yes, my dear, I believe we are. And everyone in your adoptive family is very proud of you. To survive all of this is a miracle."

"Do you think Gibbs is proud of me?"

"Yes, I think he is very much so."

While Ziva had been getting stitched up, Gibbs asked Tony what size he'd guess Ziva to be at now. Tony told him and Gibbs winced. "She's emaciated boss."

"Yeah, ya think, DiNozzo?" Gibbs had asked, pulling money out of his wallet and handing it to Tony. "Go get her some clothes. Comfortable things, you understand?"

"Yes boss."

"McGee."

"Yeah boss?"

"Get her something to eat, nothing too rich. Something easy on the stomach."

McGee got up and walked out of the bull pen.

"Abby, go back to your lab," Gibbs said.

"But Gibbs Ziva'll be finished with Ducky soon. I want to be here."

"Abby, Ducky's collecting a blood sample for you. He'll need you to analyze it," Gibbs said, feeling awful. Abby was usually so tender and sympathetic, he didn't want to hurt her.

"A blood sample? From Ziva? Why would I need to analyze it?" Abby asked.

"Pregnancy, Abs."

"Ziva is always careful Gibbs," Abby insisted.

"Abby she was left in the Sahara for months. Do you really think she packed birth control?"

"No, but who would Ziva have…" Abby trailed off, suddenly understanding. "Gibbs you don't think that…?"

"I don't know Abby, but I think so. And I want to make sure Ziva's okay."

"I want to kill him Gibbs."

"I already took care of that Abs," Gibbs said, getting up and kissing Abby's cheek. "I need you to be strong for Ziva. Can you do that?"

"I'll go right down to my lab now," Abby said, standing up fast and heading for her lab.

Tony returned with the clothes and handed them to Gibbs. He cut some tags off and got out his shower kit and went down to Autopsy. Ziva was sitting on a table, her eyes full of tears. Gibbs could tell Ducky was trying not to cry. Ziva noticed Gibbs and held her arms out to him. This scared Gibbs but he kept a smile in place for Ziva. He knew that usually Ziva shied away from physical contact but apparently today that was not the case. He set down the things he carried onto a table and walked over to Ziva.

"Hey Ziver, how you doing?"

"Abba," was all Ziva said, hugging Gibbs.

"Abba?" Gibbs questioned. No matter how much his team felt like family they did have their own parents, even Ziva.

"It means," Ziva started to explain.

"I know what it means," Gibbs said, holding Ziva tighter, but not tight enough to hurt her. "Welcome home kid. I brought you some stuff. Clothes, soap. Do you remember where the employee showers are?"

Ziva nodded and got down off of the table before thanking Ducky and walking out.

"How is she Duck?" Gibbs asked.

"She's shaken up Jethro. I believe she was ready to die there. From what Tony told me, she did not give up a single bit of information to betray this agency."

"She's a good agent, Duck."

"She is very fragile now Jethro, although she won't admit it. She's had more to endure these past few months than most people have in a lifetime. She'll need counseling."

"I'll make sure she's okay."

"Yes. She does seem to think of you as her father. She made a comment about all of us being a family. She calls her own father Eli now. And you're the one she calls Abba."

"Well, I won't let her down Duck," Gibbs said, heading back to the squad room.

After her shower, Ziva dressed and headed up to the bull pen to her desk. As she sat down she noticed egg drop soup and an egg roll on her desk. "What is this?" she asked.

"You need to eat Ziva," McGee said. "You don't have to eat the egg roll if you don't want but you do need to eat the soup."

Ziva ate the soup, surprised by how hungry she was. Tony walked in and crouched next to her desk.

"Hey Ziva?" he asked softly.

"Yes Tony?"

"I have something for you," he said, pulling out a box from his jeans pocket and opening it, setting it on her desk.

It was a silver Star of David on a linked chain. Ziva gave him a questioning look.

"I noticed yours was missing. I know it's not gold like yours was but I thought you might like it anyway."

"Thank you Tony. I love it. Will you help me?" she said, gesturing to the necklace.

Tony helped her put it on and he noticed how she traced the six points with a finger and slightly smiled.

Abby had come in and shook her head at Gibbs handing him the results. Negative. Gibbs breathed a sigh of relief. "Let's go home," he told his team.

McGee and Tony gathered their things and went to the elevator. Ziva picked up the bag of clothing that she'd been given before realizing that she had no place to go. Her apartment had been blown up. She sat back down at her desk with a sigh. Where was home, after all?

"Hey. Do you want to stay here all night?" Gibbs asked.

"No."

"C'mon then," he said, walking towards the elevator.

"I am going with you?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah, unless you want to sleep at your desk." Ziva got up and followed Gibbs to his car.

Gibbs had a surprise for Ziva. When he left her in Israel, he knew she'd want to come back. Or maybe he just didn't want to handle life without Ziva. Whatever the reason, he'd re-done his guest room. It was now painted a light green instead of the purple and pink he'd painted for Kelly. He'd built a bed and then a dresser and then a bookshelf and two nightstands and a desk. Then he'd concentrated around the rest of the house, cleaning it up, making it look like a home instead of a place to crash. He'd ordered dinner on the way and he and Ziva sat down at the kitchen table to eat, something he hadn't done since Shannon and Kelly's deaths.

"What the hell happened, Ziver?" he asked as he dug into his pizza and Ziva ate her soup.

"I did my report on the plane and I watched you read it."

"I'm not talking about Somalia, Ziva, I'm talking about Michael Rivkin."

"The information kept changing, Gibbs. I should have seen it was a trap. Intelligence does change but not that quickly or that subtly. First he was accused of being a part of Hamas and feeding them Israeli intelligence. Then not only was he part of Hamas but running the cell. Then he was not only running the cell he was helping other terrorist organizations too the next one was him being accused of running both Hamas and Al Qaeda cells. I was told to terminate him. I did not want to. So I called Officer Hadar. I wanted a forced extraction. Let Eli deal with it. But Tony wanted the information on Abin Tabul. So he went to my apartment to see if we could talk about theories. Michael attacked him. He would have killed Tony. So I killed him before he could kill Tony. Tony wanted to take the fall for me. As it turned out, that was everything Eli wanted. He wanted me to stay in Israel and be Mossad not NCIS. Michael never was a terrorist nor was he betraying either country. I killed an innocent man, Gibbs."

"You got played Ziva. You got fed the wrong intelligence. But if Michael would have killed Tony, then you did the right thing. You had your partner's six."

"It turns out Michael's mission was always Saleem Ulman. Jacob, my partner to finish Michael's mission, did not have a good plan. I did not trust myself enough to plan so I let him plan. Saleem's men killed him. But I assure you Gibbs, I did not betray NCIS. And I am sorry that I lied to you on the tarmac. I have always trusted you."

"Ah hell Ziva. We both got played."

"I want to become an NCIS agent, Gibbs," Ziva said, clearing the dishes and putting away left over's.

"You have to be a citizen for that."

"So I will become a citizen."

"You have to pass a Psych evaluation."

"I can pass a Psych evaluation."

"And I have my own condition too."

"Which is?"

"You talk to me. You don't shut me or the team out, you understand? I know you can pass a Psych evaluation. Hell you could probably pass tomorrow, but I want you to talk to us. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Good. Time for bed. You need sleep to rest and heal."

Ziva nodded and headed for the basement.

"Nope. Not that way, up here," Gibbs said, leading the way to Kelly's room.

"This is Kelly's room."

"It's your room now. Night kid."

Ziva looked around and all the handmade furniture and smiled at Gibbs' kindness. She unpacked, got into her pajamas, lay down and let herself cry. She knew Gibbs could hear her, but he'd let her get it out. She loved her family, her team, her agency and her country. She finally knew where she belonged and who she could always trust.


	23. Worries

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Damon Werth dressed all in black and got ready to head out for work. Colonel Merton Bell had given him a job as a body guard or a security guard. So far all he'd been doing was protecting some wealthy guy that the mafia wanted to kill. He rolled his eyes. He'd seen Nick Heatherton last night. Neither Nick nor Damon had been doing too well. Nick missed Rachel and Hannah to do much of anything until he'd been hired as a trucker. Having a job to do kept him anchored and gave him a purpose. Damon missed Ziva and until he had gone to work for Colonel Bell even his job at the bar hadn't been enough to keep him anchored. With Bell's job Damon was back to the basics he'd learned in the Corps. This kept him comfortable and focused.

He had no idea where Ziva was or even if she was alive still. He'd called McGee only to learn that Ziva's mission had gone to hell and Tony had killed her target. Ziva had fought with Tony and then stayed in Israel.

"Field work?" Damon had asked.

"We don't know. Ziva's been absent. No contact."

"Didn't she e-mail you last time she was in Israel?"

"Yeah once a week why?"

"Then she should be doing it again McGee."

"I've e-mailed her, but no response."

"Damn it! Where is she?"

"Sorry Damon."

He'd hung up, throwing the phone across the room. He'd even gone to their apartment to see if he could find clues to her whereabouts but it had been blown up.

Eventually, he found ways to occupy himself. He went to the gym and worked out. He started haunting the library to get books. He even started online classes to keep him busy between shifts.

He'd visited Nate and Mel, watching his friend regain his strength and his freedom.

"It still feels weird," Nick said, tapping the metal that had replaced his leg. "Like my old leg is there, but it's weak. It's an odd feeling Corporal."

"I bet it is. Sorry Nate. I wish I could have gotten us outta there sooner."

"Hey Corporal, you did the best you could. You got us all out alive. If I had to lose my leg to save our asses, well I'd do it again."

"Don't be down about it, Damon. Really. Nate and I are both thankful," Mel told him patting his arm. "Do you guys want pizza or Chinese tonight? I'm not cooking."

"I think pizza, what about you Corporal?"

"Whatever you both want. I'm not picky."

He'd enjoyed dinner with Nate and Mel but going home to an empty apartment was not something he liked doing after living with Ziva.

About two months ago, he'd taken to lurking around the Navy Yard. One night he was spotted by Jimmy Palmer.

"Hey… Corporal Werth right?"

"Yeah."

"I'm Jimmy Palmer."

"I know."

"Why are you here? We closed your case."

"Yeah I know Jimmy. I, uh, I was missing Ziva."

"Oh, right, because you dated her. I'd forgotten about that. Have you eaten recently?"

"Nope."

"You want to get something to eat? Maybe a drink?"

"Sure Jimmy."

It had been the beginning of an unlikely friendship. A retired Marine and a cautious, easily scared, medical assistant. However Damon and Jimmy both had few friends, they were both perceived as odd by outside society and they both remembered Ziva.

Soon, Jimmy had become Damon's work out buddy, his dinner pal and a real friend. Damon had introduced Jimmy to Nate and Nick and after some good natured teasing by the two Marines, the group became friends.

The few days after her homecoming and she'd gotten used to the time difference, Ziva was up and dressed before Gibbs had even gotten off the couch. "When do we go into work?" she asked.

"You're not going anywhere."

"Gibbs, please. I have to. Don't leave me alone," she begged, following him into the kitchen. He grabbed a plate and dished up the eggs, bacon and toast that she had made him.

"This looks good Ziver."

"Thank you Gibbs."

"You can come with me. Sit at your desk, but no working, not even if we get a case, got it?"

"Yes Abba."

The pair ate in silence and then left for the Navy yard. Ziva sat at her desk until Rachel Cranston walked in.

"I'm looking for Officer David?"

"I am Officer David."

"Come with me. We can talk," she said, leading Ziva upstairs to the conference room.

Ziva shot a panicked look at Gibbs before following Rachel up the stairs.

"I'm Dr. Cranston, a Psychologist."

"This is an evaluation, yes?"

"Well no, I was just hoping we could talk. You are?"

"I'm Ziva. And pardon the bluntness Dr. but I am not one to chit-chat."

"Noted Ziva. Now, why don't you tell me about when you first came to NCIS. What was that like?"

"It was good. The team was respectful and caring."

"How about the Agent you replaced, Caitlyn Todd?"

"I did not replace anyone, Dr. Cranston. I am me. Kate was Kate. No one is replaceable."

"Did the team ever talk about her?"

"Sometimes. They mourned her loss, just as she would have mourned theirs I am sure."

"And returning to Israel, how was that?"

"It was good to be back in something familiar. But I also missed the friends I had made here at NCIS."

"You weren't in Israel that long. Were you happy to come back to NCIS?"

"I was sad to leave some of the people I enjoyed working with in Israel but over all I was happy to return to NCIS."

"But you stayed in Israel when the rest of your NCIS coworkers came back to DC. Why?" Rachel asked, her eyes boring into Ziva's. Ziva looked away quickly before looking back.

"I thought I owed Eli a debt."

"Eli is?"

"The Director of Mossad."

"He's also your father, isn't he Ziva?"

"Yes, he is," Ziva said, tasting bile as she admitted it. Gibbs was more a father than Eli.

"And now you're back at NCIS. I hear from Director Vance that you were in Somalia and that it wasn't so easy."

"Being tortured is never easy Doctor. But they were bad men; I am not. I did not deserve to be tortured but I did not betray NCIS. They are dead now. They deserved to die."

"Yes, Gibbs took care of that, didn't he?"

"Yes he did. They saved my life."

"And now you want to become an American citizen and an Agent?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"It is not obvious to you?" Ziva asked, shifting in her seat. The doctor scribbling on her pad made Ziva nervous.

"I want to hear you say it."

"I do not want someone to take my home away from me again. I will not let that happen."

"Good. Well you are a strong woman Ziva."

Ziva nodded. "Are we done?"

"Yes, we're done."

Ziva stretched out her hand and shook Rachel's. "Thank you Doctor."

"Thank you, Ziva."

Dr. Cranston walked to Director Vance's office as Ziva walked down to her desk.

"Had your mandatory session with the shrink?" Tony asked.

"Yes," Ziva said.

"Still crazy then?" Tony asked with a smile.

Gibbs head slapped him. "Knock it off, DiNozzo."

"Ow boss!"

Rachel stood in Director Vance's office.

"So, Dr. Cranston, how is she?"

"I'm not going to lie Director, she is damaged, but she knows how to put up a good front. Honestly, the best thing for Office David is to become a member of this Agency. I believe that's the only way she will heal."

"Fine. I'll get started on the paper work tomorrow."

Dr. Cranston walked out and Vance pulled up the paperwork necessary for Ziva to become an Agent.

Jimmy was in the squad room looking for Dr. Mallard when his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey Jimmy, it's Damon. Do you have any bodies to autopsy?"

"Nope. Why?"

"I thought we could do lunch."

"Lunch sounds great," Jimmy said, walking into Ziva as she walked back into the squad room. "Oops. Sorry Ziva."

"I am fine, Jimmy," she said.

"Ziva's there? How is she?"

"She's fine. She's here," Jimmy said.

"Who are you talking to Jimmy?"

"Damon Werth," Jimmy answered.

"Don't tell her it's me," Damon said at the same time. "Damn it, Palmer!"

"Can I talk to him, Jimmy? I know it is your phone but… please?" Ziva asked.

"She wants to talk to you, Damon."

"Jimmy, I can't right now. McGee told me she chose to stay in Israel. She chose to leave me."

"Sorry Ziva," Jimmy said, patting her shoulder.

Ziva looked like she was trying not to break down.

"Don't cry, Ziva. Please don't cry," Jimmy begged.

"She's crying? What the hell did you do to her, Palmer?"

"I don't think it's me, Damon. I think it's you."

"Shit. Put her on."

"Here, Ziva. Talk to Damon," Jimmy said, handing her the phone.

"Damon?" Ziva asked.

"Yeah it's me. Why are you crying?"

"I am not crying. I was about to cry. How are you?"

"Do you care?"

"Of course I care!"

"Then why did you choose to stay in Israel Ziva?"

"I did not choose to do so Damon. I had to lie to Gibbs. I was played. Michael never was a terrorist."

"And Tony killed him. And so you had to fill his place."

"Yes. Hence why I had to lie to Gibbs."

"Shit Ziva, are you okay?" Damon asked, all hard edges gone from his voice.

"No," Ziva confessed.

"You don't have an apartment anymore. Where are you staying?"

"With Gibbs."

"So he forgave you for lying to him?" Damon asked, surprised.

"Yes he did, although I did not deserve it."

"Yeah you did."

"Can I see you?" Ziva asked, she missed him.

"I need some time, Ziva."

"I understand," she said, her voice strong, but Jimmy was giving her worried looks.

"Give me back to Jimmy, yeah?"

"Okay. Bye Damon."

"Bye Ziva."

Ziva handed Jimmy his phone and then got up to go to the break room so she didn't have to listen to Jimmy talking to Damon.


	24. Inlaws and Outlaws

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Ziva had finally been approved to be a probationary Agent with Agent status coming when she became an American citizen. She was back working cases and was starting to feel like it was home again. She'd been staying with Gibbs and cooking for him again. She knew that he usually only ate take out or canned goods unless she cooked for him. She tried not to think about Damon. Needing time was usually the phrase that led to "it's over" in Ziva's experience.

Instead of wallowing over Damon, she kept busy cleaning and reading. She also took the time to look over Gibbs' craftsmanship of the objects in her room. Her desk drawers and dresser drawer pulls were carved to look like Stars of David. Ziva loved them. Gibbs had also found a nice varnish and Ziva could not believe how much work Gibbs had put into her room.

When she arrived home from NCIS, Mike Franks was there. At first she had drawn her weapon. Vance wanted them to find Franks and he was here. With Gibbs. How much more would she be betrayed?

"Whoa, lady Ziva, put that gun away," Mike said.

Ziva shook her head slowly her eyes tracking Leyla.

"Ziver, put the gun down, now. It's okay. You're safe. Put the gun down," Gibbs said.

"No," Ziva said.

"No?" Gibbs asked, keeping his hands up and moving slowly.

"No. Stop moving! You. I trusted you. Vance asked us to find Mike Franks. You said you did not know where he was. The whole time he was here with you! You lied to us!"

"Ziva, I didn't lie. Mike only just got here. You were here last night and the night before that. And I'll tell Vance in the morning. Now put the gun away."

Ziva holstered her gun and said, "Sorry I accused you. Good night."

"Ziver, you need to eat," Gibbs called.

"Not hungry," Ziva called back as she mounted the stairs and shut her door.

"Damn Probie. What happened?"

Gibbs ordered pizza and then sat on the couch gesturing for Mike and Leyla to sit. "It's a hell of a story Mike."

"I'm listening."

"She stayed in Israel on our last trip, she went back to Mossad. She had a mission to finish. She got captured by terrorists in Somalia. She was there for four and a half months Mike. She was whipped, beaten, starved, burned by cigarettes, and raped. And she never once betrayed NCIS."

"Damn Probie. She's a hell of a woman."

"And a hell of an Agent."

"Gibbs, she was raped?" Leyla asked.

"Yeah Leyla, she was raped."

"Pregnant?" Leyla whispered.

"No. Her body didn't have enough food to keep herself healthy let alone a baby. Thank god because I don't know what that would have done to her."

"I'm assuming she's been betrayed before Probie? Because she pulled a gun on me."

"No Mike, she didn't pull a gun on you, she pulled it on me. And yeah, she's been betrayed before. Her father made her be a control officer to her half-brother. He died in my basement."

"Ari? No kidding?"

"Ari."

"So why'd she trust you at all Probie? You killed him."

"No I didn't Mike. She did. To save me. And then Jenny offered her NCIS, as a haven. Ziva took it. And then Jenny lied to Ziva and ended up dead."  
>"Damn. Poor Ziva. What else?"<p>

"Her father told her that a man she worked with was a terrorist. He wanted her to terminate him. She wanted to extract him instead, make Eli deal with his own issues. But he attacked DiNozzo. So Ziva killed him. Then she found out that the guy wasn't a terrorist, he was a good guy and it was a ploy to get her back. And then Somalia. Now she's in the process of becoming an Agent and a citizen."

"Gibbs, I hope you shot her father? He sounds worse than my mother," Leyla said.

"Her father was her Director, so no, but I thought about it."

"No wonder she saw me and assumed betrayal," Mike said.

"So why are these guys after you Mike?" Gibbs asked as Ziva came back down the stairs. "I thought you said you weren't hungry, Ziver?"

"I smelled chicken alfredo pizza Abba."

"It's in the kitchen."

Ziva went to fix herself a plate.

"Probie, I was hoping you could tell me. I have no idea why they're after me."

When Gibbs went to work the next day he took Mike with him and sent Tony to be Ziva's back up.

Ziva enjoyed playing with Amira. It had been a long time since she was allowed to hold a child. Amira was friendly and talkative. Ziva made up stories and sang her some Hebrew nursery rhymes. Tony stayed as far away from Amira as possible and Ziva made a face at him at one point. Leyla watched Ziva like a hawk but soon relaxed seeing that Ziva would not harm her daughter.

Tony stayed in the basement annoyed that he was babysitting. He didn't like kids at all so the basement was preferable to Gibbs' living room that was until he had a phone call from McGee. Gibbs had found out that the men that had been shot were there on Leyla's mother's orders and not after Mike at all. Tony cursed and thanked McGee.

Ziva upstairs with Amira was talking to her and was more relaxed than she had been since her return from Somalia. Maybe she would have children some day. "You have very peaceful eyes, Amira, do you know that?"

"Yes she does," Leyla said, "I left Iraq because I did not want to expose her to the violence I saw as a child. I wanted peace to last in her eyes forever."

"You made difficult choices, for both of you," Ziva said.

"Sometimes the most significant moments happen in your life without any choice at all. Like her father. I knew the cost of even talking to Liam but I could not help it. The feeling was irresistible."

"It was love at first sight," Ziva said, smiling and thinking of Damon again.

Leyla smiled back and laughed a bit and nodded, "Maybe," she said.

"Do you miss your home land?" Ziva asked, thinking about how at first she missed Israel. The team had made that better for her though. Maybe Mike and Amira did that for Leyla.

"It was difficult to leave it all behind but the right reasons made it easier."

"Ziva's trying to pick up and start over again," Tony said, coming out of the basement and into the living room. "Rebuild again."

"Yes," Ziva said, getting up off of the floor.

As Tony questioned Leyla, Ziva recognized a face she had often worn. Leyla was the shooter. She was sure of it. Mike would cover for Leyla as Tony covered for her and as Gibbs had as well. Leyla had shot the men to protect her daughter. Ziva would have done the same thing. By this time Gibbs would have known too.

Gibbs did know, as Ziva had predicted. He called Mike on his cover and Mike was not too happy. "Probie, you covered for Ziva. So did DiNozzo. Why can't I cover for Leyla?"

"Because that's not your job Mike."

"The hell it ain't Probie. I protect my family."

"Yeah, and you did."

McGee interrupted, "Boss you wanted me to let you know if I found anything interesting about Shada Shakarji. She's on her way to DC."

Gibbs swore and so did Mike. "Go pick her up McGee. That's good work."

McGee did what he was told and then Mike got to interrogate Shada.

"You sent gunmen after Leyla and Amira. What were your intentions?"

"To rescue. From you. If there is a chance to reconcile, I am willing to travel the distance."

"You put them in jeopardy," Mike said.

"It would never have turned violent. I was assured of it."

Finally they worked it out. Shada would go back to Mexico with Leyla, Amira and Mike and live there.

While they were doing that, Ziva and Tony ended up with a situation. Gibbs called Ziva to let her know that the contract was still on.

"Got it Gibbs," she said, drawing the shades and making sure the house was secure.

"Trouble brewing?" Tony asked.

"Where is Amira?" Ziva asked Leyla, ignoring Tony.

"She is upstairs, sleeping."

"All right," Ziva said, removing her back up weapon. "Take her downstairs."

"Wait, wait, you know how to shoot?" Tony asked as Ziva handed the gun over.

"Yes, she does," Ziva said.

Leyla got to safety just as a flash bang was thrown into Gibbs house.

"Tony!" Ziva called, diving for cover.

"Look out!" he called back.

The confusion and panic that Ziva felt would not be totally shoved back. The men sounded strong, powerful, capable. It gave Ziva goose bumps and Somalia flashbacks.

"Ziva? Is that you?" a familiar voice asked.

She looked up, straining her eyes through the fog. "Damon?"

"What are you doing here?"

"This is Gibbs' living room."

"What are you doing here?" Tony asked.

"Rescuing a kidnapped little girl and her mother," Damon said.

"I am sorry to tell you, but you are actually abducting them," Ziva said.

Damon's coworkers wanted to tie Tony and Ziva up, making Ziva have to shove back her panic. But Damon over powered them and listened to Tony and Ziva instead. They then went to the meeting point.

"You get the girls Corporal? You finish the job?" Bell asked.

"Yeah, I'm finished with the job sir," Damon said.

"What've you done, son?"

"I quit."

"Made a mess outta my house, somebody's gonna have to clean that up," Gibbs said.

"What on earth happened to your hair?" Ziva asked Damon once they were alone.

"I stopped caring about a lot of things when you left again Ziva. Did we give you flash backs? I'm sorry. Jimmy told me, about Somalia."

"Yes you did. And not even Gibbs' house is safe."

"I will keep you safe Ziva."

Ziva let him hold her and she was content for a while. Hopefully they could get back together. She loved him.


	25. Listening

Ziva knew she couldn't keep putting off talking to her friends about Somalia. Gibbs knew, since he insisted she talk to him or be out of a job but no one else really knew. They'd all been briefed by Gibbs but other than the few sentences he'd given them, she knew that her friends were clueless. She sighed and drug Tony into the break room as he came out of the bathroom.

"Jeez, Ziva, what's the matter?" Tony half asked, half complained.

"Can I come over tonight?"

"Lonely again Ziva?" Tony teased gently, giving her his thousand-watt smile. He knew that even though Damon was angry with Ziva at the moment, Damon had stolen her heart but he still loved to tease Ziva.

"No, I need to tell you about Somalia," Ziva said, her face serious.

"Oh. Do we really need to talk about it?" Tony asked with concern.

"Yes Tony, we do. I need you to listen and I need you to understand."

"I'm listening Zee, I'll always listen," he said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Ziva's first instinct was to shove it off but she let it remain there. "When can I come over?"

"After work. We don't have a case, maybe Gibbs will let us off early."

"I will see you after work Tony," she said, starting to walk away.

"Wait, Ziva," Tony said, grabbing her arm lightly.

"Tony remove your hand or I will rip off your arm and beat you to death with it," Ziva threatened in a low and dangerous voice. Her voice said 'test me and die' and Tony dropped her arm as though she'd burned him.  
>"What I wanted to ask was, it's not just me, is it? The talking about Somalia thing."<p>

"No Tony, it is not just you. Gibbs knows, you should know. Then McGee, Abby, Ducky and Jimmy, and maybe then I will find the right courage and the right way to explain to Damon. But you all deserve to know."

"Well, I'm honored to be your second choice, I'll see you tonight."

The rest of the day passed in almost silence minus a few phone calls, breaks and minor interruptions. Tony got ready to go home and so did Ziva once Gibbs dismissed them. McGee was waiting for Abby.

"You'd think the boss man would get rid of rule number twelve by now so that Abby and Mcloverboy can finally get together," Tony said as he and Ziva got into his car. She had wanted to ride with him rather than take her own car. And while she was living with Gibbs, she still had some clothes stored at Tony's.

"He does not want anyone else to end up the way that he and Jenny did."

"Can you see Abby letting that happen to her and McGee?"

"No, but you can see Tim being awkward with Abby the same way Gibbs was with Jenny, yes?"

"Well yeah there is that, I guess," Tony agreed. "Hungry?"

"I do not think I can eat just now, but order something for yourself if you like."

"Okay, think I'll get some tacos. Want me to get some for you, just in case?"

"If you'd like Tony."

Tony called his favorite Mexican place and then drove there to get the food. Ziva held the carry out bag on the way to Tony's apartment. It smelled delicious but she knew from previous experience that talking about Somalia often made her too upset to eat or upset enough to throw up.

Once inside and comfortable, Tony sitting with a beer and his tacos, he looked at Ziva. "You can start whenever you're ready, Ziva. I'm listening."

"I… I do not exactly know where to start," Ziva said, keeping her eyes on Tony's couch cushions and mumbling. "What did Gibbs tell you?"

"He told me that you were whipped, beaten, starved and raped but that you never told them anything they wanted to know. You protected NCIS Ziva, we're proud of you."

"Well he did tell you everything then. I was whipped, there are scars all along my back in a criss-crossed web. Sort of like Abby's spider web tattoo. I can show you."

"Ziva, I don't need to see," Tony protested.

"Maybe not, but I need to show you. May I?" Ziva asked.

Tony could tell she was close to tears. She needed him to see her scars. She needed her best friend to see what she had endured protecting him and NCIS. "Yeah, okay. Go ahead," Tony said, trying and failing to keep his voice steady.

Ziva turned her back toward him and pulled up her shirt. Tony gasped, horrified. He had known Ziva was strong and capable but just how strong she was Tony had never known until now. Her back was, as she had said, a web of scars. There was no pattern but they all overlapped, almost looking like a horrific burn rather than scarring.

"Oh Ziva," Tony said, reaching out a hand to trace over a healed scar. Ziva shuddered and Tony withdrew his hand hastily. "Did I hurt you?"

"No Tony, you did not. The scar tissue is sensitive. Any touch is magnified. But you were gentle. You did not hurt me."

"And you still didn't talk?" Tony said, stunned. He would have talked, maybe not everything they wanted to know but he would have said something, anything, to make the pain stop.

"Oh I talked all right. I raged and cursed and cried out for Gibbs, you, McGee, even Eli," Ziva said, her eyes filling with tears that she blinked back. "I just did not tell them anything they wanted to know. Sometimes I even sang."

"You sang while they whipped and beat you?" Tony asked, giving her an are-you-crazy look.

"Not singing per se, I suppose. More like chanting. The synagogue service from beginning to end."

"It was a way for you to pray," Tony said, understanding now.

"I was angry at God for Tali's death. I had not prayed in some time. You know I only went to synagogue on Yom Kippur to mourn for Tali and atone for not being a better sister to her and Ari."

"Ziva, you were a good sister. Tali's death was not your fault. Neither of you asked to be brought up in a war zone."

"But Ari's death was my fault, Tony."

"No, Ziva. You did your job. You got the passport and the cash for Ari. You were sending him to Paris. You were a good control officer."

Ziva turned to Tony then, pulling her legs up on his couch and crossing them. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it. "No Tony. It is time you knew the truth."

"The truth about?" Tony asked.

"What really happened to Ari. Ari was my half-brother. Gibbs requested that I be his back-up. If Ari was innocent, he would not try to kill Gibbs and I could send Ari to Paris. But if Ari was guilty, he would try to kill Gibbs and Gibbs wanted back-up."

"If Gibbs wanted back-up then why didn't he call me or McGoo?"

"I do not know Tony. Perhaps he thought you were grieving too much to be adequate back-up or maybe he wanted to give Ari a chance. Anyway, Gibbs was right. Ari showed up and was ready to kill Gibbs. And I… I was at the top of the stairs Tony. I saw it all. And I… I pulled the trigger. I killed Ari, Tony!" Ziva was sobbing now, steady tears running down her cheeks and she punched the pillow she had been holding. Tony let her beat the pillow, crying and yelling about Ari, Saleem and Eli. He knew she needed to work through her grief. When she stopped throwing punches, Tony pulled her into his arms.

"Shh, Ziva, shh… It's all right now. I didn't know, Zee, I didn't know he was your half-brother. You were hurting too. While we were mourning Kate you were mourning Ari. Why didn't you tell me before now Ziva?"

"Rule number four," Ziva said, pulling herself out of Tony's arms.

"The best way to keep a secret is to keep it to yourself. The second best way is to tell one other person, if you must. There is no third best," Tony recited.

"Yes, that one. But I did tell Jenny. That is how my position at NCIS got started. I requested the assignment. Jenny let me come to NCIS to ensure that Eli would never find out that I was the one who killed his son. He believed Gibbs report. Just as he believed your report about Michael."

"Vance didn't know?" Tony asked.

"No, Vance still does not know."

"Still think you would have gotten sent back if he had known?"

"What does it matter now, Tony? You cannot change the past you can only change the present. And besides Vance needed to find his mole."

"Yeah, except he wouldn't have found her without you."

"That does not matter now Tony. And I wanted to ask you a question."  
>"Go ahead, ask me anything, you know you can."<p>

"Do you think I will ever be able to get past what Saleem and his men did to me? I want to be with Damon, Tony. But I do not want it to be plagued with flashbacks of Saleem."

"The rape you mean?" Tony asked.

"Yes."

"Well I don't know Damon but if he really loves you Ziva, he'll wait. He'll help you heal. He'll stay by your side and comfort you. He'll help you be strong."

"And if he does not love me Tony?" Ziva asked, barely believing that she had just asked her best friend about her worst fear.

"How could he not love you Ziva? What's not to love? You're smart, beautiful, capable and charming," Tony said, teasing Ziva slightly but not really. "And if I were talking to Damon right now and could give him advice? I'd say, caution. Handle with care. Contents priceless. And if you hurt her, I will kill you."

"Thank you, Tony," Ziva said, squeezing his shoulder.

"No problem. Take the couch. Sleep well Ziva. See you in the morning. Who are you talking to next?"  
>"I think McGee."<p>

"Go easy on him Ziva. He still views the world in a positive light."

"I will, good night Tony."

"Night Ziva."

Ziva made up the couch and curled up for sleep, glad that Tony knew the whole truth now.


	26. Learning

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

In the morning, Ziva got up and packed a change of clothes into her work backpack. After her usual run and her morning shower, she prodded Tony awake and then made breakfast while Tony grumbled about mornings and showered.

"Smells good Ziva. So, talking to McGee tonight?"

"Yes Tony. I hope it goes as well as last night did."

"You call last night well?" Tony said, trying to tease.

Ziva glared at him and thumped his plate onto the table.

"Okay, not up for teasing about this. Got it. I am sorry Ziva. But it'll be okay. He loves you, we all do."

"But you said that I should go easy on him."

"Well yeah, Tim's not like us. He still believes the world is basically good."

"I am too jaded to believe that," Ziva said, taking a bite of her eggs.

They drove to work separately and Ziva was thrilled to be back at her desk. Gibbs came over and handed her a file.  
>"Here," he said, thrusting the file at her and walking away. "I need coffee."<p>

"What's that?" Tony asked.

Ziva opened the file and a slow smile spread across her face, "It is my paperwork to become an agent. Signed by Director Vance. I am officially a Probationary Agent."

"Oh, our little Probie. Study hard for that citizenship test there Miss David," Tony said.

"For my sanity, could you not call me Probie?" Ziva asked him.

"I say it with love," Tony said, grinning at her.

"Well good for you, Ziva," McGee said. "We'll be glad to have you."

"Thank you McGee," Ziva said, getting up and walking over to McGee's desk. "Can I come over tonight? Or are you busy?"

"I was going to do some writing tonight actually Ziva," McGee said, giving her an apologetic look, "Maybe some other time?"

"Of course," Ziva said walking back to her desk.

"You'll want to reconsider that McTim," Tony said.

"Tony this isn't your business," McGee said.

"Actually it is Probie Wan Kenobi. I know why she wants to come over and I know she needs to. So you can write tomorrow. Tonight you're spending with Ziva."

"Tony do not do this. It is all right that McGee wants to write tonight," Ziva protested.

"Maybe Tony's right Ziva. Are you all right?"

"I will be," Ziva said, offering McGee a small smile.

"Come over tonight. We'll get Chinese," McGee said, returning Ziva's smile.

"Good choice McGoo," Tony said.

"Thank you McGee."

"You're welcome."

Work dragged by as they input cold case files and looked at the files again just in case. Eventually Gibbs barked his order, "Go home." Ziva packed up and was ready to leave.

"Ziver?"

"Yes Gibbs?"

"Coming home tonight?" Gibbs asked.

"No. Going to McGee's. There's a pizza casserole in the fridge. I will see you at work tomorrow."  
>"Okay. Night Ziver."<p>

"Night Abba."

Once at McGee's Ziva dug into her Moo Shu chicken and tried again to find how to begin, "I, uh, Tim, I wanted to talk to you about Somalia."

"It's no problem Ziva. Tony, Gibbs and I were happy to rescue you."

"No. Not about that, Tim. About what I went through."

"Oh. Do we really need to talk about it? I mean, Gibbs said you were whipped, beaten, starved and raped before we rescued you. He also said you didn't betray us Ziva. I knew you wouldn't but still it's impressive."

"Yes we do really need to talk about it Tim," Ziva said. Too late she remembered Tony telling her last night that after Ari shot Kate, McGee was terrified to go down and see her. She couldn't mess up his worldview that way. Tim had always been a friend to her and someday he would make a great Senior Field Agent but for now he needed to hang onto the fact that the world was a good place for as long as he could. Ziva looked at Tim's scared expression and sighed. He wasn't Tony, he couldn't handle the whole truth, as Ziva was learning. "Never mind Tim, we do not need to talk about it," she heard herself say.

"Thanks Ziva," McGee said, relief evident in his voice.

Ziva realized that had she pushed the issue Tim would have sat with her, listened to her story, looked at the scars on her back, and been terrified the entire time. She would not put Tim through that but she would tell him about Ari. She owed him that much.

"Tim, do you remember Ari?" Ziva asked and instantly regretted her choice of phrasing. Of course Tim would remember.

"He shot Kate Ziva of course I remember."

"I was Ari's control officer. He was also my half-brother," Ziva said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Can they do that? I mean, isn't there a law against that?"

"Usually yes. I volunteered. I did not want someone who did not care about Ari to be his control officer. Anyone who did not care about Ari would treat Ari just like anyone else meaning that if he had to be eliminated, he would be. I wanted to make sure that if Ari had to be eliminated that it was because there was no other course of action."

"But Gibbs killed Ari. So why did you come back to work with us? If someone killed Sarah, I'd want them dead. I wouldn't want to work with them every day. Hell, you live with him Ziva. You call him Abba now, we've all heard you. How do you do it, Ziva?" McGee asked, looking upset.

"Gibbs did not kill Ari. Gibbs requested me to be his back-up. I agreed because I still believed Ari was innocent unlike you and Tony. But when I saw, really saw, what Ari had become I knew it was bigger than Gibbs. If I let Ari kill Gibbs and got him to Paris, Ari would not have stopped killing. He enjoyed it now and it made him rash, reckless and dangerous. He had to be stopped. So I… I pulled the trigger and saved Gibbs and who knows how many more people."

"Gibbs lied?"

"Gibbs lied to protect me, just as I killed someone I loved dearly to protect him."

"You shot Ari through the head. Why not the heart?" McGee asked.

"I did not shoot Ari through the heart because before he became the monster that you knew, he was the best big brother. Kind, caring, gentle. I was hoping that by leaving his heart intact that maybe his good deeds would outweigh the bad ones."

"What about Rivkin?" McGee asked suddenly.

Ziva sighed, "Yes, I suppose it is time you knew the truth on that one as well Tim. I got to my apartment where he was fighting Tony. I had two options. I could either stand by and do nothing and let Michael kill Tony or I could end it, kill Michael and save Tony."

"You couldn't let Tony be killed," McGee said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"No more than I could let Gibbs be killed. Tony is my partner, Tim. I will gladly protect him with my life."

"You know, I always figured you two had a fling."

"Tony and I? No. He is my best friend. In many ways he fills the void in my heart that Ari left. Tony and I are friends and partners. We flirt, we tease, we fight, and we protect each other. Tony offered to take responsibility for Michael's death so Eli would not find out I had killed Michael. I let him and that mistake is probably what led to my ending up in the hands of Saleem and his men."

"So you guys were never lovers?"

"No Tim. You could have asked. We would have told you."

"I didn't want to ask. I didn't want to know, just in case you were."

"My heart belongs to only one man Tim," Ziva said with a sad smile. "He will not even talk to me and I love him."

"Damon Werth? He loves you Ziva. He probably just needs time."

"Yes Damon Werth. I hope that is all he needs is time."

Tim hugged Ziva and he wasn't surprised that the Israeli stiffened and barely returned the embrace. The hug was more for his benefit than hers anyway. Tim wanted to comfort her but he didn't know how so he stuck with what he knew.

Damon Werth was having a really crappy week. He threw his K-bar knife again and again into the doorjamb that surrounded his room. The steady thunk, thunk, thunk of the knife being inserted into the wood calmed his nerves. PFC Joe Whitney had been killed in action in Iraq. Kristen, his fiancé, was inconsolable. Mel had tried to be supportive of both Nate and Kristen but eventually Kristen's grief overwhelmed the couple. Damon offered to have Kristen stay with him and they took him up on it. The pretty blonde haired blue eyed woman apparently wasn't as grief stricken as she had been trying to make them believe. As soon as Damon told her she could have his bed and that he'd take the couch, she'd leaned in close and said, "Oh, that's not necessary Corporal. We could share your bed." She'd placed a hand on Damon's shoulder. "You look big and strong. I bet you're powerful Damon," Kristen all but purred.

Damon shrugged off Kristen's hand, "Back the hell up lady," he said roughly.

"You should know, Damon, that I wasn't faithful to Joe. I slept with a guy named Mark. I'm pregnant."

"Great, so why don't you stop playing the grieving girlfriend and quit making everyone miserable with your bullshit?"

"Because I miss Joe. But you know he couldn't have given me children."  
>"That's what adoption's for. It doesn't give you an excuse to be a slut just because your man is sterile. Does this Mark guy know you're knocked up?"<p>

"Yes, he doesn't want the baby or me."

"So you thought you would help yourself to me, huh? Well I've got news for you. I wouldn't disrespect Joe that way. And you're not my type. I prefer brunettes. Besides my heart belongs to one woman. So get yourself cleaned up and make nice for the funeral tomorrow and then get the hell out," Damon said, walking away and sitting down at his kitchen table. He hadn't saved Joe's life just so he could get blown up by an IED. Joe was a good man and a good Marine and Damon wanted to make sure that he would be remembered as such.


	27. Trusting

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

PFC Joe Whitney's funeral was an experience in hell. Nick, Nate and Damon along with some guys from Whitney's new unit were all pallbearers. The military funeral was well done and as they folded the casket flag Damon realized that it would go to Kristen. Joe had no parents, siblings or any family. The last thing Damon wanted to do was give Joe's casket flag to someone who didn't care about him. "Sorry buddy," he whispered as he walked away and presented the flag to Kristen. She accepted it and played the part of the heartbroken girlfriend. Damon wished he had Ziva with him. She was strong and she would help him bear his grief. With her on his arm, he could face anything. He should call her, that much he knew. They could talk about their separation and maybe come to a conclusion. He loved Ziva, he knew that now and he could trust her. Before the news about Whitney, Damon had gone out to dinner with Jimmy Palmer.

"How is Ziva?" he'd asked.

"She's fine but I know she misses you. She loves you, she was telling Tony that just the other day."

"I'm so confused Jimmy. Ziva and don't match up like I thought we would."

"Can you explain that a bit more Damon?"

"We were planning on painting the apartment before Ziva went back to Israel. She suggested blue. I like blue, it's one of my favorite colors but I don't want my entire apartment to be blue. So I told her that. And then she wanted to paint our dining room a dark burgundy. I don't like dark colors. I want light colors so the room's still bright even when there's no sun. So I just don't know Jimmy."

"Um, you realize you're debating your relationship based on paint colors, right?"

"If we don't match on paint, how the hell are we supposed to match on anything else?"

"Did you tell her how you felt?" Jimmy asked, taking a bite of his burger.

"Yeah. She said that they were just ideas and that she was sharing. She then went out and found light colors and stuck the chips to the walls with masking tape and asked me to take a look."

"Did you?"

"I didn't want to. And then she went off to Israel."

"You know what this sounds like to me Damon?"

"What's that?"

"A big case of overreacting. You do realize that Ziva couldn't care less about the color of the walls? She loves you and wants to be happy with you. She wants to build a life with you and I know you're compatible. She cares about how her home looks, don't get me wrong, but she's more concerned about you and blending your lives together more than anything else. And okay, if you did something totally crazy, like tie-dye paint or splattering, then yeah she wouldn't be too happy and she'd want you to re-paint it. But the bottom line is it's just paint Damon. If you end up hating how it looks, you can always repaint it. But you can't replace Ziva. I know you love her, so stop being stubborn and work this out. She loves you and she's terrified of losing you. And I think she's the best thing that ever happened to you."

"You know you're right. It is just paint. I guess I wanted her to feel like this was part of us building a home together and she did say they were just ideas."

"She does feel like that is a part of building your home together. I can't explain this well but you really need to talk to Ziva."

"Yeah, I know."

In the end though, he hadn't called her. He knew Jimmy was right but he still couldn't get up the nerve to call her.

Ziva had gone to Abby's that night for the same Somalia and Ari talk she'd had with Tony and McGee. Abby cried at almost every sentence Ziva said and Ziva found that comforting Abby made the story less painful to tell. She had turned on the news while Abby showered and they waited for their Mexican delivery. Ziva listened to the casualty counts with detachment remembering Tony telling her that Saleem had said, "Wars are measured in body counts, you can change the world with rivers of blood." The announcer listing PFC Joe Whitney among the dead sent a jolt to her brain and a shock to her heart. Damon. He would be so upset over this. She should be there with him, comforting him, offering him whatever he needed. Had he moved on? Was there a new woman in her place? Was Damon crying while holding her right now? Did he even miss Ziva? She thought of having McGee hack into the telephone database and get Damon's number to call him but she decided against it. If he had moved on she did not want to make this any more painful for him than it all ready was. He had lost a friend, the last thing he needed to turn up tonight was a former lover.

"Why are you watching the news Ziva? It's so depressing."

"I had it on for background noise until I heard PFC Joe Whitney being listed amongst the dead."

"Did you know him?" Abby asked, interested.

"No, he was a part of Damon's unit."

"Well you should call Damon. I'll call McGee and have him get Damon's number for you."

"No, Abby, leave it. If Damon has moved on the last thing he needs right now is a former lover. Knowing Damon they way I do, he would want to comfort me about no longer being the woman in his life. He does not need that right now."  
>"And if he is alone?"<br>"If he is alone, then I know Nate and Nick will help him through his grief."

"What if he wants you?"

"Then he can call me, Abby. He is friends with Jimmy and Jimmy has my number. All Damon would have to do is ask."

"Palmer and Damon? So weird. When did that happen?"

"Apparently while I was in Israel and Somalia."

"I'm sorry Ziva," Abby said, hugging the Israeli.

"I'm sorry too Abby. It seems I cannot hold my life together."

After the funeral, Kristen had wanted to hold a wake and had called in reservations for the small party of mourners. Nate's place was packed that night and lots of people were getting thrown out by the manager for being rowdy.

"I'm telling you man, you should drive truck with me. I'll take you with me when I go in tomorrow to see what my next run will be. It's a good job, pays good. Might take your mind off of Ziva."

"I already told you Heatherton, I'm happy being a bouncer."

"Just like you were happy with Bell?"

"Hey, that wasn't my fault. He told us we were rescuing a kidnapped little girl and her mother, not abducting them."

"Guess what you call it depends on whose side you are on, huh?"

"Guess so."

Damon got up from the bar, he'd never been one to drink too much and he didn't want to drink while he was taking medicine. He decided to dance, he wasn't very good at dancing to pop music or hip-hop, he actually preferred country or something slow. He could dance very well as long as it was a slow dance. So when a pretty girl asked him to dance during a slow song, he said yes. He knew it was the uniform and the muscles the girl was attracted to, not him, but he didn't care. It was easy to please her, smile, call her ma'am, be polite. But she didn't fit into his arms, not like Ziva. She smelled nice but it was all wrong and she was a red-head not a brunette. He continued to dance with her though, almost laughing when Tom, a guy Damon had worked with, switched the station to a country one. Apparently Tom thought Damon was trying to get some action tonight. But he was okay with that because dancing kept him occupied, kept Kristen away from him and kept Nick from bothering him about driving truck. The woman held him tight, hummed along with the songs and pillowed her head on Damon's chest as they danced. Everything about this woman screamed 'Not Ziva! Not Ziva!' to him but he ignored his brain. Eventually, because fate had been kind to him after the events of the afternoon and needed to even things out, the woman raised herself on her tiptoes and whispered into Damon's ear, "We should go back to my place."

Damon gently moved away from her, trying not to let the hurt and rejected look she was giving him sting his conscience, "I'm sorry ma'am I was never intending for that to happen. I'm not looking for that. Sorry to spoil your evening. Excuse me."

She had called him a bastard which didn't sting nearly as much as the hurt look had.

"Hey, why'd you ditch the pretty girl Corporal?"

"Two words, Heatherton. Not Ziva. Hey Tom can I have a beer please?"

"She was hot man," Heatherton slurred. "If you're not gonna hit that, I'm gonna," he said getting up and stumbling over to the red head.

"You're drunk," Damon called to him as he walked away.

Heatherton flipped him the bird and started talking to the woman. She looked disgusted and walked away.

"Why do you get all the girls man?" Heatherton asked dejectedly.

"Maybe because most women don't want to hear, "Damn you're fine. Wanna ride?" I'm a gentleman, they like being treated well."

"I miss Rachel."

"I know you do man. I'm going to hit the head. Be back."

When Damon came back he finished his beer and then stopped Nick from beating up a guy from his work that the red head was dancing with. They ended up kicked out of the bar in an alley. Damon was trying to support Nick as everything went black.


	28. Jackknife

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Damon woke up cold in an alley surrounded by trash. His head was throbbing. "Ah man, my head," he said, rubbing it gingerly. He smiled as he saw Heatherton passed out on the garbage heap close to him.

"Hey Heatherton. Yo Heatherton. Man, was that a party or what?" Damon said, knowing that his head usually didn't throb like this after his usual allotment of one or two drinks. He got up, knowing if he was hung over, Nick's would be worse. Nick would need his help to get up and probably end up spending the day on Damon's couch. "Step to it Marine." Damon said, flipping Heatherton over and then seeing the cut in Nick's throat the guaranteed he was dead. Damon backed away in horror. "I need Agent Gibbs," Damon said, finding a cab and giving them Gibbs' address.

McGee dropped Gibbs off and Gibbs checked the fridge for food, "I know my goldfish didn't eat a t-bone," Gibbs said, holding his gun.

Damon came out with his hands in the air. Making sure Gibbs knew he wasn't a threat. "I need your help Agent Gibbs."

"Friends are welcome. You're not a friend."

"I need your help. I didn't want anyone to see us talking."

"You're paranoid."

"I'm clean. I'm off the juice," Damon said, glad that he had brought his prescription with him.

"Who do you think is watching you?"

"A guy named Aaron Zwed. He runs a trucking company. A friend of mine from the Corps has been doing work for him. Questionable work."

Gibbs relaxed and called McGee.

"Where's Ziva?" Damon asked when he was off the phone.

"Not home. Probably with Tony."

"She seeing him?"

"Nope," Gibbs said. "Start talking. Tell me I didn't just call McGee for no reason."

"Heatherton was recruiting me for the next run. And then Zwed offered it to me."

"When?"

"Before I came to see you."

"Doing what?"

"Serious driving. Last one was cross country and back in less than a week."  
>"When's the next run?"<p>

"Tomorrow. I'll be taking a dead man's place behind the wheel. You need me Agent Gibbs."

Gibbs sighed and drove to pick up Fornell. Joint Op. He knew he should have stayed at the office last night.

McGee was jumpy with Damon around, even though they'd talked over the phone. "It's like being in a cave with a hibernating bear."

"I'm not going to hurt you McGee. You can relax. I'm clean."

"No. You're clean when the lab says you're clean," Gibbs said, getting into the car with Fornell. "Let's go McGee."

At the Navy yard, Damon was instructed to eat and drink to get Abby a sample for testing to make sure he was clean. He walked into the bull pen, looking for McGee. Right away he spotted Ziva. She looked beautiful. She'd gotten highlights, which Damon didn't understand. She didn't need blonde running through her hair. She was beautiful just the way she was. "Ziva," he said approaching her.

"Damon?" she asked, looking surprised and confused.

"I was just, uh, peeing in a cup," Damon said before wanting to smack himself. Not hi, not how are you, not I miss you, not I love you, but I was peeing in a cup? Nice work Damon. Smooth. He berated himself.

"Yeah, uh, Damon, let's get you back to the conference room. I'll get this to Abby for testing. And I've already given her your prescription," McGee said.

"Truck rolls in six hours. What do we got?" Gibbs asked.

"We got nothing," Tony said.

"So we stop the truck," Fornell put in.

"Or put someone on it," Gibbs said, having a silent conversation with Ziva. He trusts you. Are you okay working with him? Gibbs look asked.

Yes of course Ziva telegraphed back.

Then you'll do. Go on, get the van cleaned out, Gibbs look told her. She went off to the van garages.

"I really hate when they do that," Tony complained.

"What just happened?" Fornell asked Tony as Gibbs was in Abby's lab.

"Ziva and the boss man. They communicate with just looks. It drives me crazy. And I have no idea what just happened."

Down in Abby's lab Gibbs asked about the tox screen.

"It was positive for roofies Gibbs. Other than that, it was just his prescription. Nothing else," Abby said, handing him the paperwork and the earwigs he'd need to run the operation.

"Thanks Abs," he said, kissing her cheek and walking away.

Arriving in the squad room after getting Damon, Gibbs looked at Tony. "Why are you still here? Go. Help Ziva. Take Werth with you."

"Last one to use the van should have to clean it out. There should be a rule," Tony said.

"There is," Ziva said.

"Well who was the last one to use it?"

"You were," Ziva replied, looking everywhere but at Damon.

"Oh I don't think so. Because it smells like falafels. And I know a certain back-up Probie Agent who smells a little falafel-y. You wanna help?"

"Sure," Ziva said, narrowing her eyes and then kicking the trash can so it stopped perfectly next to Tony. "There."

"Probie?" Damon asked.

"I am in the process of becoming a sworn NCIS Agent."

"I thought you had to be an American citizen to join a federal agency."

"I am also in the process of becoming an American citizen."

An American citizen. This meant that Ziva couldn't be ripped from him ever again. Could it be true? Might they finally be able to build their future together? "And I thought you had to live in the country for… you know?" Damon quizzed.

"There are a few strings being tugged."

"Pulled," Tony interjected, "You pull strings."

"You tug heart strings," Damon said.

"The heart has strings?" Ziva asked.

"According to the poets. I thought you liked to read?" Damon teased.

"I do like to read. Just not poetry."

Soon they were underway and Ziva was stuck in a truck with a tense and angry looking Damon. "Hey, relax," she said.

"It's hard to relax when you're in a truck with a woman you love who left you. And Heatherton drove the lead hummer in our convoy when we were hit. Can't stop thinking about him."

"My uh," Ziva paused. If she said therapist he might think she was damaged goods same thing with counselor, "friends," she settled on. "Who know about these things tell me it is a science. Trauma intensifies memory which can make it feel ever present."

"Is there a reason for that?" Damon asked.

"Perhaps to teach you? So you do not allow it to happen again."

"I keep getting stuck in my own history."

"Look, the last time we saw each other you were in control. You helped us. Even after everything you have been through you can move forward. You can find the right path Damon."

"Ziva, I don't want to lose you again. I'm sorry about before. I'm ready to listen. What really happened in Somalia?"

And so, Ziva sighed and began her story for what seemed like the millionth time. Damon didn't asked questions, just let lose soft hisses and gasps and gripped the wheel tighter. When she was finished, she locked eyes with Damon.

"I want to kill them Ziva. More than I've ever wanted to kill anyone in my entire life."

"They are all dead. Gibbs and the Navy SEALs made sure of that."

"I wish I wasn't driving this rig. I want to hold you."

"I want to have you hold me Damon."

"What you said before, about your friends who know about these things, you were in therapy, weren't you?"

"Yes, I was. But I was able to stop two weeks ago. Hopefully you do not think any less of me for it."

"No, I don't. You were strong enough to admit that you needed the help."

"Well I do not know about that. Gibbs had to force me into going the first few times but after that I realized how much it helped. And I was able to repair my friendships with Tony, Ducky, Gibbs, McGee, Abby and Jimmy, and now you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't ready to listen earlier. I'm glad I did now. I thought about you all the time. Wondered how you were. Debated calling you. I almost did last week. Whitney, Joe Whitney, he was killed in Iraq by an IED. I was a pallbearer for his funeral. It really messed with my head. I didn't save him, Heatherton and Stone just so they could die later. But I wanted you there. I knew you could help with the pain. That's where I was last night, at his wake. We had it at the bar I used to work at Nate's Place. Tom says hi by the way."

Ziva placed a hand on Damon's shoulder. "I am so sorry Damon. I didn't know. I am sorry for your loss."

"Thanks. Zwed must have been there too. Heatherton said he messed up the last run, something about being a human first…? Anyway, they must have roofied my beer and killed Heatherton. I think they killed him with a jack knife. And that's how you got dragged into this mess. It's all my fault Ziva."

"Shh Damon. No, it's not your fault. It was never your fault. Heatherton probably did something heroic. Whitney died serving his country. This was not your fault. You are a victim here. And yet again, you are helping us. You are helping us bust this operation and seek justice for Heatherton's murder."

"You think better of me than I deserve."  
>"I love you," Ziva said, touching Damon's cheek.<p>

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear that Ziva David. And now I can't even kiss you properly because I'm driving. I love you, Ziva."

"Well, I think you've waited long enough. I am glad you still love me."

"Always did. Any time I tried to move on it didn't work. I was always only thinking of you."

"Let's get this guy and then go home."

"Home sounds great," Damon said, reaching over to squeeze Ziva's thigh before turning his attention back to the road.


	29. Believing

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

In the end, it was found out that Heatherton was murdered for costing Zwed a race. The other guys had hit a teenage girl and left her for dead. Heatherton had taken her to the hospital and stayed with her until she died.

"Sounds like Heatherton," said Damon. "He would have done the right thing."

"He did do the right thing Damon," Ziva comforted. "I told you that he had probably done something heroic."

"I've got to go to the head. I'll be back. And I'll see you at home. I'll clean up while you finish your case report," Damon said, heading to the bathroom.

When he came back, Ziva handed him some paperwork. "Sign this, please."

"I'm not looking forward to this next conversation."

"It is better to do it in person. Tell Nick's wife that her husband died for being a Good Samaritan that he was a good man and that Zwed is not."

"Well, see you later," Damon said.

"See you later," Ziva said, kissing his cheek and smiling.

"Heatherton's wife lives in Cleveland huh? I went to school in Columbus I've got some friends in the area. I can make some calls if you're looking for work," Tony said.

"Appreciate it," Damon said, shaking Tony's hand.

When Damon was gone, Tony asked, "So was that see you later like a 'goodbye' or was it like a 'hey I'm gonna see you at a later date'?"

"Are you having trouble understanding simple English Tony?"

"Just answer the question so I know if I need to have my best friend, "break her heart, I break your face", conversation."

"Tony, Damon would not only break your face, he would seriously injure you. I do not recommend you trying it."

"We should wake Mcsleepyhead."

"Let him sleep DiNozzo. Fornell will drive me home. Ziva, are you coming home tonight?"

"No Gibbs. I am going to my apartment. There's stuffed chicken in the fridge. Fornell, there's plenty."

"She lives with you now?" Fornell asked.

"Yeah, she does. And cooks too. It's a good deal. Let's go Tobias. I think you'll really like her stuffed chicken."

"Thanks David."

"You're welcome Fornell."

When Ziva finally finished her case reports and woke McGee, she drove him home. He needed her help to find his bedroom and then he collapsed into bed. Ziva stripped him, knowing how much he hated sleeping in his work suits. She tossed everything into his laundry basket and pulled his covers over him, setting his cell phone on his bedside table. She then drove to her apartment and when she opened the door, she could smell cleaning products, stale air and her pizza casserole.

"Welcome home Ziva."

"It's good to be home, Damon."

"I was surprised. I figured you were just living with Gibbs not that you had your own place too. When you told me, it was a shock."

"I wanted a place to rebuild if I could. But I found I couldn't without you, so I made Gibbs place my permanent home."

"I want to talk to you about Rachel."

"Nick's wife."

"When I go to see her and tell her about Heatherton I think I should stay for awhile. I know Tony wanted to send a not so subtle goodbye message but it got me thinking. Besides just telling Rachel 'Hey Nick's dead' she and Hannah are going to need someone to look out for them for a little while, just until they can get back on their feet. I think I should help them."

"How long is awhile, Damon?" Ziva asked, sitting down at the kitchen table and watching Damon serve up dinner.

"Three to four months. I'll call or instant message or at least e-mail every day."

"I just got you back and you want to leave again," Ziva said, pressing her lips together and looking down to try not to cry.

"Ziva, Ziva baby I don't want to go. But I owe it to Heatherton and his daughter if not his wife too."

"I know you do. I am being selfish," she said, reaching out her hand to hold his.

"Nah, you've earned the right to be selfish," Damon said, picking up her wrist and kissing it. "There was a question I was going to ask you almost a year and a half ago. I never got to because you went off to Tel Aviv without saying a word to me…"

"…Damon, I'm sorry I just…"

"Shh, I wasn't done. If I ask you again tonight, will I get a chance to ask you?"

"I want you to talk to Gibbs first and Tony."

"Why Gibbs and Tony?"

"They rescued me from Somalia. Gibbs is more like a father than Eli ever was. I call him Abba sometimes. And Tony, Tony is my best friend and almost like a big brother to me. So yes, they are the most important people to me in the world to me, along with you. And I want you to talk to them before you ask, Damon, please. For me?"

"Yeah, I'll talk to them both. I'd do anything for you, you know that."

"And no more turning into a crazy person about paint chips?"

"You remember that?" Damon asked, chuckling.

"Yes. And you can paint the apartment tie-dye for all I care. I just want to be with you. I love you Damon."

Damon was still chuckling, "I'd never paint my home tie-dye. I love you too." He picked her up, spun her around and kissed her passionately. She responded until the kiss turned rough and then she shut down. Her body tensed, her eyes glazed over, it scared Damon.

"Ziva, Ziva are you all right? Ziva?"

"Somalia," Ziva gasped out.

Damon could have kicked himself. He needed to be slow, gentle and comforting, not rough even though it was passionate. "I'm sorry Ziva. I just really wanted to kiss you. I got carried away. I love you and I didn't mean to give you flashbacks to Somalia."

"I love you, Damon."

Damon cleaned up the kitchen, telling Ziva to go take a shower and internally yelling at himself. He had been so stupid. She had admitted her torture and therapy to him and what did he do? He got carried away. He heard the shower shut off and soon Ziva walked out into the kitchen. Damon was sitting at the table, head in his hands.

"Are you all right Damon?" Ziva asked, standing in the kitchen doorway.

Damon looked up and looked at her. "Yeah. No. I don't know. I scared you. I gave you flashbacks."

"I will be fine Damon," Ziva said. But she wondered, would she ever be fine? Would Saleem, his men, Somalia, the torture she endured ever leave her? Would she be able to move forward with Damon?

"Right, I know you will."

"So, Ohio?"

"Not for long Ziva."

"Three to four months is long."

"I know. I don't want to go but I owe them."

"I know. You should go. Pay your debt."

"Yeah. So about me holding you, can I do that? Or will I freak you out?"

"Yes, you can. Come to bed Damon please?"

"I'll be right there Ziva. Just let me shower."

Holding Ziva as he drifted off to sleep was amazing. He'd been wanting that for a long time. Now that he was back how on earth could he leave her again? He couldn't, not really. If he didn't owe Heatherton's family he would never leave Ziva's side again. Ziva muttered in her sleep the nightmares plaguing her. Damon shook her awake and comforted her.

"I'm sorry Damon," she said after the fifth nightmare.

"It's okay. I used to be like this."

"I wish I could make it all go away Damon."

"I know, but you can't. You can work through it however. And you're doing well, Ziva. I can tell that you are."

"Thank you Damon. So when do you go to Ohio?"

"Right after I talk to Gibbs and Tony."

"Wish you weren't going."

"I know. I wish I wasn't too."

"So don't go," Ziva said, cuddling up to him. Damn she was making it hard to go. A full belly, a bed with a warm woman in it, promises of love and care.

"I've got to."

"Yes I know."

When Damon woke up in the morning, Ziva was gone, her side of the bed cold. He walked into the kitchen to find a note.

"_Damon, went for a run, didn't want to wake you. Be back soon. I love you, Ziva."_

Damon muttered a curse word under his breath and then made breakfast. The only thing Ziva really had in her cupboards was a box of pancake mix. She wasn't kidding when she said she was living with Gibbs.

"Mmm, something smells good in here."

"Pancakes. And I made maple syrup too."

"Yummy! I'll take a quick shower."

After Ziva's shower, they ate and Ziva drove to the Navy yard. Damon tagged along and found Tony.

"Why are you still here?" Tony asked.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"Fine. Conference room."

Damon nodded and started for the stairs.

"He doesn't know about the elevator, does he?" Tony asked Ziva.

"No."

"Hey Corporal, wrong way," Tony said, motioning for Damon.

Once in the elevator, Tony flicked the emergency stop. "So talk."

"I want to ask Ziva to marry me. She said I needed to talk to you and Gibbs first. I love her Agent DiNozzo and I want her to be my wife."

"She loves you too. And I love her like she's like family so I have to tell you, if you break her heart, I break your face. Got it?"

"Yeah, loud and clear."

"You better make her happy Werth."

"I'll do my best."

"Then yeah, I say ask."

"Thanks Agent DiNozzo."

When they got back to the bullpen, Damon found Gibbs.

"Why are you here? Somebody else die?" Gibbs asked.

"No Agent Gibbs, I wanted to talk to you."

"Conference room."

"Actual conference room or the elevator?"

"Elevator."

When they stepped in, Gibbs flipped the emergency switch. "Start talking."


	30. A Heart Found

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

"I want to marry your daughter, sir. I love her more than my own life. She helped me find my life and my heart again and I want to make her happy and help her heal. And I'd like your permission to ask her to be my wife."

"My daughter is dead Corporal."

"No, she calls you Abba and him Eli, that makes you her father."

"You want my Ziver?"

Gibbs was stunned. He never thought he'd get some man asking him for permission to marry his daughter someday once Kelly died. He knew that Ziva loved Damon and Damon obviously loved her or he wouldn't be here asking Gibbs' permission to marry Ziva. But Gibbs had thought that Ziva would always want to live with him since Somalia and her return. It was to his home she'd come when she got back and it was where he'd let her build herself a life and a room. She had come to be like a daughter to him.

"Yes sir, I do."

"She loves you."

"I know. I love her too."

"If you break her heart…"

"…You break my face?" Damon asked. "Agent DiNozzo told me."

"No, I shoot you. Simpler that way."

"I've got it Agent Gibbs."

"You treat her right, Marine. You respect her."  
>"I will sir."<p>

"Then yeah, you've got my permission."

"Thank you sir."

"Get out of here, Marine."

"Yes sir."

Gibbs flipped the emergency switch and walked back into the squad room. Damon followed him, dropped a kiss on Ziva's cheek and whispered, "I'll see you at home."

"No, go, go to Ohio. I will see you when you get back. Please Damon. Do not make me tell you goodbye."

"Okay, if that's what you want. I'll call you tonight."

Ziva nodded.

Tony walked over to her and head slapped her. She head slapped him back. "Why'd you send him away Ziva? He wants to marry you. Why would you send him away?"

"I can not bear to tell him goodbye Tony. He will still want to marry me when he comes back. He's wanted to marry me for a year and a half. That is why I sent him away."

"You trust him," Tony observed.

"Yes I do."

"He loves you."

"I love him, Tony."

Work could not hold Ziva's attention and without a hot case there was nothing to distract her. Damon was leaving her. He was leaving her but he didn't want to. She wasn't sure that made it any easier. True to his word, Damon called that night. They talked for a bit and Ziva could tell how much he missed her. She heard crying in the background.

"Damon, someone is crying," she told him.

"Damn it. They've both started. I'm not good with the crying women. But I'm doing the best I can. I've got to go. I love you."

"I love you too Damon."

Damon Werth was sleeping on a couch again. He had comforted Rachel and Hannah as best he could. Both women had cried themselves to sleep again. Damon had been here for three weeks. Other than the extra cash he was handing over from the job Tony had gotten him as a chauffer for someone who needed a temporary chauffer while they looked for a more permanent one. Ziva had sent him money too, to help with his expenses. He felt bad, taking money from his girlfriend but he needed to help out with expenses. He had comforted Rachel who kept staying up at night and getting weepy.

"If I had just been more patient, more understanding, this would not have happened. Nick would be safe with me and Hannah. Why did I divorce him?"

"You can't blame yourself Rachel, this wasn't your fault."

"He's gone," she'd sobbed, pulling Damon to her. He rubbed her back sympathetically and tried to soothe her. Her tears soaked his shoulder. There was only so much Damon could do for her.

Yesterday he had gotten off of work and changed the oil in Rachel's car, something the woman did not take care of. On a whim he had picked up Hannah from pre-school and took her to the gas station with him. The four-year-old seemed happy to be in the car instead of at her day care. She hummed along with the radio, drumming on the top strap of her booster seat. When Damon went inside to pay for the gas, he bought some strawberry kiwi juice and some zebra cakes. He poured the juice into Hannah's sippy cup and then unwrapped the cakes for Hannah. Rachel didn't allow the kid to have junk food but he figured the girl deserved a treat.

"Tell me about Daddy," Hannah asked, giggling as she ate the sweet, frosting covered, cream filled pastry. She'd been asking this frequently and Damon had told her the basic stuff. Stuff about her father being a hero and serving his country. He had told her that her father was a good man. The problem was that Hannah did not really remember her father. He had deployed the month she was born and had gotten back when she was two. He'd only been with them three months before Rachel divorced him and he came to DC.

"Your daddy was a good man and a good Marine. He died saving a girl who needed his help. He loved you and your mommy very much."

"Are you my new Daddy?" Hannah asked.

"No sweetheart. I'm just a friend."

But his interaction with Hannah got his mind spinning. Did Ziva want children? Did she even ever want to have sex again? Could they adopt if not? Were they ready for kids? Could they keep it together long enough to have a family? Did he even want a family? But he thought he did. Hannah was a good kid but she had her moments of being a holy terror too. He would have to talk to Ziva about all of these questions. He couldn't wait to be back in DC. He missed Ziva like crazy. They talked, instant messaged or at least e-mailed every night but it wasn't enough. He wanted to kiss her, hold her, and tell her how much he loved her. He wanted to propose. He wanted to get down on one knee and ask her to be his wife.

He drove Hannah back home and went for a run. He wanted to hop a flight.

In DC Ziva wasn't doing much better. She was constantly startled, uneasy, and on alert. Gibbs had nearly been attacked with a stapler when he had crept up behind her to tell her to get lunch. He disarmed her easily and then tackled her to the floor so she'd calm down.

"Ziva, it's only been three weeks," he said, letting Ziva know that her behavior had not gone unnoticed."

"I miss him Abba. I miss him more than I ever thought it was possible to miss anyone. What am I going to do?"

"He'll be back in two months and a week Ziver."

"That is too long Abba. I want him home now."

"I know you do kid."

Gibbs let her up and she walked out for lunch. She'd been gone five minutes when her desk phone rang.

"Agent David's desk," Gibbs answered.

"I have a Damon Werth down here. He says he knows Ziva. Can I let him up?" Bob from security asked.

"Yeah, send him up."

"Hey Agent Gibbs," Damon said as he walked into the bull pen.

"Hey."

"Convinced Ziva not to marry me yet?"

"Nope. You know how stubborn my daughter is Corporal. She brings a man home and asks, 'Abba, what do you think?' so you tell her he's a fool and then you have a son-in-law."

Damon laughed and said, "It's good to be home Agent Gibbs."

"What happened? I thought you weren't coming back for another two months."

"I wasn't planning on it. But I missed her too much Agent Gibbs. It killed me to be away from her."

"She's been distracted since you left. She attacked me with a stapler earlier. I startled her."

"Sorry Agent Gibbs. I hope I never have to leave her again."

"Yeah me too. Otherwise I might have to kill you."

"Damon?" Ziva asked, setting down her lunch on her desk.

"It's me baby. Did you miss me?"

"Damon!" she cried and launched herself into his arms. He caught her easily and kissed her softly.

"Hey! Some of us are trying to work," Tony grumbled.

"Shut it DiNozzo," Gibbs growled, watching Ziva beam at Damon.

"Welcome home Corporal Werth," McGee said, walking into the bull pen.

"How's Abby?" Gibbs asked as Damon said, "It's good to be home Agent McGee."

"Abby's fine boss. Says she's doing the work of ten people today and would appreciate it if we didn't have a case."

Gibbs half-smiled and said, "Well yeah McGee any day that doesn't include murder is a good day in my book."

Ziva smiled at Damon again, wiggling until he set her down. "I have to get back to work Damon. Will I see you tonight?"

"Yes, of course," he said, kissing her again. "Agent DiNozzo, will you walk me out?"

"Sure."

"Listen, I want to propose to Ziva tonight. If I get her a dress and accessories can I call you and have you take them to Abby?"

"Yeah. Hey take her to Valentino's. I'll make you reservations. Say, 19:30? And don't forget the peach roses Corporal."

"That would be great, thanks Agent DiNozzo."

"You're welcome. You leave it to me, I'll help you make sure it's a night she'll never forget."

"Okay, I'll call you then."

"Yeah, you do that," Tony said letting Damon off at the main doors and heading down to Abby's lab. "Hey Abs."

"Tony! I just told McGee that I'm working!" Abby said as she continued typing.

"I know. But I need a favor," Tony said.

"What Tony?" She said, not looking up from her computer.

"Damon's gonna propose to Ziva tonight. He's getting her an outfit and I'm going to drop it off her so Ziva doesn't know. And I need to make a call. Valentino's. Table on the terrace."

"Aww! Of course I'll help! You go make your call!" Abby said, shoving Tony towards the inside of her lab. She couldn't wait to get Ziva all dressed up!


	31. Epilogue

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS.

Abby had gotten Ziva all dressed up despite Ziva's protests that she wanted to go home and be with Damon. Ziva was in a v-necked black dress with nylons and heels. Abby put her hair up in a twist and practically bounced around her lab.

"Abby, what is going on? I do not understand why I need to be dressed up," Ziva said as she applied her make up.

"You'll see."

Once she was done she took the elevator back up to the bull pen. As she stepped out, Tony's jaw dropped. He had let Damon up and Damon was standing there in a suit.

"You're stunning, Ziva," Tony said, finding his voice.

McGee had gone red.

"You clean up real nice kid," Gibbs said.

"Wow, Ziva," said Damon. "I'm a very lucky man. Here these are for you," he handed her the roses.

"Thank you," Ziva said, taking the roses from him.

"Shall we go then?" Damon asked.

"Yes."

Valentino's was amazing. The food was perfect; the spring night was warm. When dessert came, Damon got down on one knee.

"Oh Damon!"

"Are you going to let me ask?" he teased, smiling at her.

"Yes."

"Ziva David, I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?"

"Yes Damon, yes of course I will!"

Damon slid the silver sapphire and emerald ring onto her finger.

"Oh Damon, it's beautiful!"

"Like you."

"I love you Damon."

"I love you Ziva."

The night couldn't have been more perfect.

A/N: So this is the end of this story. I had a blast writing it and I hope you all enjoyed reading it. I do have a sequel in the works. It's called Paper Airplanes. What if Damon decided to rejoin the Marine Corps? Will Ziva go with him or will she choose to stay in DC? (And yes, I know that because of Damon's dishonorable discharge and his anemia he wouldn't be allowed back into the Corps but for the sake of my story, he is rejoining the Corps.)


End file.
